# You couldn't let me have this one thing?



## Voltage (May 15, 2013)

You all have heard of my boyfriend's mom. She has to get involved with EVERYTHING. She joined the rat fan club.... Rat forum and rat fan club were my only two places to get away and relax because I'm among friends and people who understand.
She doesn't even have rats and I pray she never does. Even though she thinks Peanut Butter and Lightning are hers. PB is legally hers but she pawned her off on me and never did a thing for her aside from buying a box or two of rat food when I lived there.
And at risk she already joined here I'm posting this anyway... Its probably only a matter of time before she does. 

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## PaigeRose (Apr 12, 2013)

Thats creepy stalker status  how does she know youre on these things?


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## DustyRat (Jul 9, 2012)

Her user name can be "Rat Stalker"!


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## Minky (Apr 4, 2013)

Some people have very little awareness of the effects of their actions on others. Sorry that's happening to you. She may feel like she's trying to connect with you or learn about you, but in reality it's pushy and invasive. Some parents have an incredibly difficult time letting their children have their own lives. My mother did similar things while I was growing up, and sometimes she still does. It's super creepy. Maybe you can get her a really good book or something to take her attention off of you.


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## Voltage (May 15, 2013)

Unfortunately its not that simple with Vicki. She has plenty of other things to occupy her. Like her cabin up North or any of the other luxury things she buys. She has five quads, a horse, two houses and is always adding new friends on facebook. She is even looking at buying a third house even though she is afraid she is going to lose her job soon.
She is trying to embed herself into our lives to make sure we pay her the rent we owe which according to her is about $3,000 and keeps adding more things to it.

She knows about the group because she can see my posts there on her news fees because she is friends with me on facebook

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## Minky (Apr 4, 2013)

Wow, she sounds like a really fun person! I think that any way you can establish boundaries with this woman will be a good thing. Even in small ways like blocking her on facebook - you do have a right to a private life.


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## Voltage (May 15, 2013)

I am really really close to blocking her. 
I had a nightmare last night that she moved to Vegas and just left the animals she had in Michigan and got a whole new menagerie to neglect here and she kept tabs on every little aspect of my life and kept asking me about rent. 
Which is pretty much what happened there. She kept track of how much Zach made each week. And would often overcalculate and aims he had more and would often leave him moneyless. She tried to keep track of how much I made and would often visit me in the store and thank gosh I never got in trouble for it. She is the most controlling person I know. And the most vindictive. I'm actually afraid of what she would do if i tried to cut connections. Plus I planned on only paying her $1000 of what we "owe" before I even think of that. Because we were there unemployed and unable to pay rent for a few months. Her rent was at $125 a WEEK. Coming up with money weekly is a lot harder than coming up with money bi weekly or tri weekly or monthly. Especially since I was paid every two weeks and $250 was often more than I made in two weeks. And Zach was working for peanuts at his store with severely cut hours. And his second job only paid monthly. She even raised the rent when we both lost our jobs. I lost mine due to transportation issues because I didn't drive and there were only two cars and Zach had to take me. His second job offered him more hours (he worked at the same place his mom worked as a runner) and so he quit his store job who turned around and fired him when he put his two weeks in and then the other job fired his mom and him by association. She often stole stuff from her workplace and she goofs off on facebook all day. She even paid herself before her bosses not too long before she got fired and they were pissed and gave payroll to someone else. And she wonders why she got fired. And she is still doing the same thing at her new job and she is even trying to mold the company to her needs. 
Oh and we could have gotten an apartment cheaper with utilities than living in a small room at the back of her gross house. But because she charged so much we could never save to move out. Oh my gosh I despise this woman....

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## Minky (Apr 4, 2013)

Therein lies the problem with being financially dependent on a crazy person. I can tell she's causing you a great deal of stress, and she will continue to do so for as long as you're entangled with her. I'm not surprised that you fear vindication from this woman, it sounds like she "needs" you and Zach to be financially dependent on her, because on some level she probably realizes this is the only way she can get you to interact with her. Unfortunately, she will continue to be crazy, unreliable, and narcissistic. The more you can detangle yourselves from her, put up firm boundaries, and learn to support yourselves, the better you will feel about yourself and your future.


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## Voltage (May 15, 2013)

Thankfully we are 2,000 miles away from her now. I try not to talk to her but she freaks out even if I don't respond because I was asleep.
I wonder if she is schizophrenic though. She lies about a lot of things and doesn't even follow up with said lie because her story changes constantly. All she posts about on facebook is how strong of a woman she is and how she doesn't need a man in her life...but then complains and sulks about not having a guy. According to her she can't find the right guy because she is such a strong intelligent independant woman and that only attracts the losers. But yet she passed up a modest guy who was interested in her because he wasn't attractive enough. She does post a lot about her kids but they have all told me (well except for her daughter who always seems to have the I'm better than you mindset and pretty much never even gave me the time of day when I lived there) that their mom was abusive at one point in time. Zach has told me that she bashed his head against a pole when he was younger that started an investigation. Apparently she isn't as abusive since but Zach has said she has thrown things at him and has hit him.
By the time I moved out I felt like I HAD to get Zach out of there. He was losing weight because he wasn't eating enough. He is 6' 4" and only weighs 135 lbs. His mom is awful and is an animal abuser. I think she feels like she needs to be in control. I wonder if that is why she keeps them in such tiny crates and pulls them around by the collar choking them....
I should probably stop ranting before I write a book.

I'm just scared of what will happen to all our stuff we couldn't take that she is going to send as long as I pay her back for it. I don't know what she will do if I cut connections. I had to leave my desktop among other things. And Zach has a lot of important stuff there too. 
When she was fired from the one job I mentioned, she stole as much stuff as she could take including the keys to a filing cabinet that had important paper work in it as revenge. She even talked of trying to get them in trouble with the authorities over something. I think she didn't because I'm pretty sure she was stealing money from the company. She had even admitted to paying Zach more than she was supposed to. I don't think he knew about it though. She tells me everything for some reason...

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## Minky (Apr 4, 2013)

That doesn't sound like schizophrenia, but it does sound very much like Narcissism. Google Narcissistic Personality Disorder and tell me if it rings a bell. Usually narcissists care very deeply about what other people think of them, but they lack the ability to empathize with others. So it fits that she would feel the need to boast about herself. In reality she seems like a very unhappy and lonely person. People like that are bottomless pits, looking to others to fulfill their happiness. But all the money or attention in the world can't make them happy. My guess is that even when you give her the money she wants, she will find something else to want from you. At least such is my experience with people like this. Weird how she confides in you. I'm guessing she has no real friends :/

Stuff is just stuff. There's no material thing of yours that she has which is more important than your dignity. And you don't have to cut ALL connections - in fact I recommend you don't at this point, because she probably WILL go nuts. But blocking her on facebook is just establishing a boundary of privacy that you have a right to. If she asks about it, you can tell her you stopped using facebook. Or you were worried about a security risk. You can tell her anything, really. The point is to gradually establish healthy boundaries, otherwise she will continue to walk all over you.


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## ratsaremylife (Nov 5, 2013)

Ugh, that sounds bad! I would lose my temper fast.


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