# Oh.. Now you have time..



## MyHeroHasATail (Sep 29, 2014)

I generally don't post on these types of forums my personal problems, but I need to do so today to get some feed back.

I am 29 years old and my "best friend" is a 30 year old married woman. We are both married, our husbands get along famously. We all went to Jr High - High School together. Okay so anyway, I have been trying to contact my friend to see if she wanted to spend some time with me & my son go to the park whilst the her husband helps my husband build a shed. Usually, Her husband loves a good DIY project so we were figuring this was going to be a great thing for them to work on together. 

She doesn't answer me even though we were just having a long drawn out conversation about our PCOS {Poly-cystic ovary syndrome} something we both have in common. Suddenly, I need help she doesn't answer. So we called her a few times, no answer, Than I call her today, she answers and hangs up on me. Than I call back because I wanted to make sure she was okay. She answers and says she got called into work and couldn't come by to help us. I said that's fine. So I hang up and I call her work asking about if she is there, They tell me it's her day off. So I know that seems like stalking and weird but I don't like being lied too especially from someone whose my "best friend". So, I try a new tactic I message her and I said I would buy them dinner if they wanted to hang out and help with the shed. Suddenly she answers me she just got off work and can come by, Can we eat first? :| I am not amused. I know they are hurting for money but it just seems like they only want to do things when we give them money or offer them something. I was planning on giving her husband $40 for helping regardless but it still pisses me off that she wouldn't even acknowledge me til I offered money or food.

This is a friend that I have been through a lot with and have forgiven for hurting me on multiple occasions. So I am very hurt by this and unsure where to go from here...


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## ksaxton (Apr 20, 2014)

If you're really true friends, just be polite but honest with her. Don't come in accusing her (not sayin you are or anything but it's hard to not get irritated when confronting people) just tell her how you feel, maybe she doesn't realize she's doing it. Good luck, friendships can be so messy


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## Zabora (Jun 8, 2014)

My friend has another person who is close to her who is the exact same way. I personally hate the guy, he isnt welcome in my house, I dont speak to him and even convinced my friend to stop doing this guy favors for a month. Thats it...No money, no rides, nothing. He hasnt talked to her but 2 times and both times he wanted money. He constantly lies and steals. She has started to see how bad a person he is and their friendship seems to be ending. He is nothing but a drain on her and ya know sometimes its time for people to exit your life.


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## bloomington bob (Mar 25, 2014)

It seems that something else may be going on here that could be totally unrelated to you. It also seems from what you say about them only wanting do things when you pay for them or do other favors indicates this might not be such a healthy friendship.


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## 1a1a (May 6, 2011)

Look for reciprocity. If she is not initiating positive social interaction as well as you (as distinctly different from initiating when she needs your support for something) I say let this friendship fade and focus your friendly energies else where.


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## MyHeroHasATail (Sep 29, 2014)

Thank you guys, I think I am going to let things cool with her as far as asking favors and see where it goes from there.


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## darkiss4428 (May 31, 2014)

i am thinking maby she was trying to find another way to make money if she responded to food and has hit hard times though it is rude she hung up on you, i know what hungry is and bills so high they cut them off and working anywhere you can find to keep lights or water or gass on food and a vehicle running if i were you i would seriously talk to her maby she dosent want you to know how bad things are


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## MyHeroHasATail (Sep 29, 2014)

darkiss4428 said:


> i am thinking maby she was trying to find another way to make money if she responded to food and has hit hard times though it is rude she hung up on you, i know what hungry is and bills so high they cut them off and working anywhere you can find to keep lights or water or gass on food and a vehicle running if i were you i would seriously talk to her maby she dosent want you to know how bad things are


While usually I would agree with you. I know things aren't THAT bad for her. They are currently living with her husbands family with very few bills & she now has a full-time job. She's in a better situation than I am honestly.


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## ponderosa (Oct 13, 2014)

Finding out she was lying would have made me very upset and had me reconsidering the friendship. But I have very little tolerance for being lied to. I also would consider distancing myself from a friend with her evading behavior. I know it is hard to let go of close long-term friendships though, and that's just my take. Maybe there are personal issues going on in her life no one knows about.


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