# I'm giving up..



## Emi (Feb 25, 2014)

I've had three rats: Penelope, Ivory and Belle, for almost 2 months now. Ivory and Penelope are great, very active and loving. But Belle is.. extremely shy.
I've tried being patient with her and giving her treats, talking with her, gently handling her, ect. She hates me and never wants to play. All she does is hide and isolate herself. I don't know what to do? My friend suggested selling her or something. I feel like its so cruel to do that because she is a beautiful rat and I do love her. I just don't know what to do about her?

Just today my rats were eager to get out and play. I fed them and they scurried around for a little over an hour (I'm going to bring them out later again but I'm trying to get some work done.) And I let Belle out and she forced herself against the wall and the cage. She would just sit there and when I picked her up to try and calm her, I realized her heart was beating so fast! I tried talking to her and let her hide wherever she wanted and gave her treats. But she would ignore the treats, claw me, and run away if I touched her. Its such a shame, all she wants to do is stay in her cage but I really want to play with her & socialize.


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## thenightgoddess (Apr 2, 2014)

I had a rat that had similar problems when he was younger but I still took him out for play time on my bed with the blanket so he could hide. With spending time with him on the bed even though he was under the blanket most of the time and him getting older he got a lot better. He now comes out some when he is on the bed and he likes me petting and interacting with him now(not so much my husband). It is probably just her personality rats all have different personality's just like people and you have to teach her over time to trust you.


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## Emi (Feb 25, 2014)

She crawls on me when I force her out of the cage. She'll even sit on my shoulder and not move. Maybe I'll try the blanket trick? Like when I'm watching TV, I'll sit with her and a towel c: that actually sounds nice. Think it'll work?

Its just that, I don't like her on my bed because she goes to the bathroom constantly! My other two girls rarely go when outside of the cage. But Belle will stop and go ever 2 minutes. Making it difficult to handle her.


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## Mattsrats (Feb 24, 2014)

Nanashi once told me that it was impossible for a rat to be scared of you forever.

You just have to be more persistent and stubborn than the rat. She is scared of you? she hides? she doesn't want treats? TOUGH. You take her out every day and play with her and keep on doing what you are doing. Some rats become tame in a few days and others it can take months, all depending on their personality. I once got a feeder rat that was tank bred and lived with 25 or 30 other rats and had never been handled by humans. From the moment I brought her home she was all snuggles, constantly licking and grooming me, bruxing every time I picked her up, etc. I have also gotten rats from a breeder that were scared to death of me for weeks before even slightly showing affection. Again, it's pretty random and all in their personality. Your girl will either always be a bit timid but friendly or she will be miss socialite and want treats and lovin' 24-7. 

You just have to show her enough love and patience to keep at it until she is ready. PLEASE don't re-home her as this would traumatize her even more in most cases. I figured you won't but had to beg regardless. I have had over 20+ rats since 1995 and never had to re-home a single one. I have gotten some of the best rat advice in my life from this site that allowed me to percevere. We will always be here with helpful advice or suggestions if you need us so don't panic, remain calm, and know that your rat will love you in the end.

AND to your second post, I have girls that never poop outside of their cage and I have ones that leave turd and pee trails wherever they go. Have you ever seen a rat that will hold it till they get back to the cage and THEN only go in their litterbox? I have 2 that are that way even if they have to go down 3 levels to get to their box.


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## Emi (Feb 25, 2014)

Haha, that is a great post. Really helpful, thank you so much! I wont give up. I'll socialize with Belle some more later today and continue every day. I'll try my best and wont give up on her c: Wish me luck!


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## Mattsrats (Feb 24, 2014)

Indeed, good luck and I am glad to see you are persistent as I have known rat owners that have given up way to soon and their rat/rats ended up re-homed or given to animal rescue.

I almost re-homed 2 feeders that I rescued for a snake owner who left them in a tank with a snake that refused to eat cause it was wintertime. Skidz and Ricochet were so freaked out all the time from any sound or movement. They were terrified of me and everything else in my apt be it the cat or vacuum. Now they are big squishy lumps and when I approach the cage they either climb the bars and stare at me imploringly wanting attention/treats or they come waddling out when I open the cage door. BOTH of them brux when I hold them and Skidz has started napping on my lap in recent weeks. Both of them were never handled as babies.

I am so proud of them now and how they have really developed personality wise. They unfortunately are very aggressive when it comes to my 3rd boy Dozer (my forum icon/avatar) and bit him in several areas that recently turned into 4 abcesses so he lives alone but oddly he prefers it.


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## NeeNee (Feb 5, 2014)

I find a really good way to bond is put them down your shirt. Just yesterday I took my love bug out and he actually sat/slept under my shirt for close to 2 hrs...neither peeing nor pooping on me either! I find the skin contact helps. They also get used to your quirks and sounds, like clearing of throats, sneezing, talking, laughing, even your breathing patterns.  I really enjoy that time I spend with the boys 

Good luck and don't give up on her! She may just surprise you!


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## Rat Daddy (Sep 25, 2011)

If I may add... the only thing that guarantees that your rat will never trust or love you is to avoid contact with it... The less you interact with a rat the less it will learn to communicate with or understand you...

(now, changing a rats mind about you isn't always easy... other people may have already neglected or even hurt it, and as you know rats can be very stubborn. It can also be stressful for both of you while your going through the process...)

But if you see the logic in the first paragraph, you know exactly what to do.

Remember, long sessions make progress much faster than short ones.


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## Mattsrats (Feb 24, 2014)

I must also correct myself as I did have one re-home when my feeder rat Booster broke his leg and had to have it amputated and went on to live with other disabled rats. I would have kept him but my Alpha male is VERY rough and I feared for his safety with being 3 legged.


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

Get an old sheet from goodwill or better a fleece blanket and cover your bed for free range. This smelly blanket will protect your blanket. 

You've already got the advice id give. Every rat is different and takes different approaches to win them over. Try cuddling her for movies and yes be prepared for messes. I have had Iris for a year and she just Bruxed when I pet her yesterday. I broke down in tears, she came to me from a bad situation, was aggressive, is blind, all these other things. I was always an object to her but I'm stubborn and never gave up. Every month we have a new milestone and this month was bruxing for me. I am not sure what will beAt that but I can say that winning her trust and affection...nothing beats that. 


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## Mattsrats (Feb 24, 2014)

The blanket on the bed idea is AWESOME, I am going to do that myself since my landlord forbode me from free-ranging them on the carpets they haven't been able to since. That was TWO months ago so aside from the tub they are cooped up all day.


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

Yeah. I did it to save my carpet. Mind you, they might try to tunnel under so getting more sheet than you have space is a good idea.


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## Emi (Feb 25, 2014)

@MattsRats: Wow, thanks for sharing your stories with me c: I feel very motivated! I hope I can win Belle over now that I know its possible~
Aww, poor Booster! I'm sorry about that.

@NeeNee: Ohgosh, I am so worried about a mess! xD but I think I will try that. When I first got Penelope, she would nap in my shirt. I had her out literally all day, and I think that really lead to the affection she gives me now and how calm she is around people. I can't believe I never realized that with Belle!

@Rat Daddy: When I take her out, I usually force hold her or pet her where she sits. She does hide and I'm occupied with my other rats, so I really haven't been giving her the affection she needs. But from what I know, no one else handled her before me. She wasn't even on the floor at the Pet Store, the day she came in I went to get her.
But thank you for sharing that with me. I'm usually at the computer for a while and the cage is right next to me. I think I'll wrap Belle up and have her sit with me as I work.

@nanashi7: Oh! Good idea. I was thinking about that but since I have tons of stuffed animals on the bed, the blanket would be so bumpy, haha. I would have to remove them then throw the blanket down. Thanks!
I am so mad at myself! I literally just finished watching a movie and I completely forgot to cuddle up with Belle. (The dogs were out and my one puppy can get aggressive around them.) Ah.. well, I plan to watch Frozen sometime soon so I guess I'll have her out for that! c: in the mean time, she'll sit with me at my computer.
Whats bruxing mean from a rat? Is that good? If so, that's awesome c: thanks so much for sharing with me!

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!
I'm not giving up on Belle and we're going to be cuddle buddies from now on! I can totally see her turning into a cuddle bug, hehe. I'm so excited and feel so motivated and inspired from you all. This rat forum is literally the best thing. Love you all~!


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

When they grind their teeth together. It's like the equivalent of a purr, and they'll only brux when relaxing or happy -- bruxing with popping eyes (boggling) is like the anathema of happiness. 


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

By the way, what color are Belle's eyes? This could factor into it. 

In new, large spaces I like to take old toys and hide them and then lay down and "explore" with the rat, acting excited and happy when I find treats. Yes, you feel silly, but you are your rats friend. They explore wit friends. If you say it's safe and interesting, they'll want to check. It probably won't help until you get her more comfortable with you but that could be three Disney movies away. 


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## Emi (Feb 25, 2014)

nanashi7 said:


> When they grind their teeth together. It's like the equivalent of a purr, and they'll only brux when relaxing or happy -- bruxing with popping eyes (boggling) is like the anathema of happiness.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Ah! Really? : D I'm sitting with Belle and she's in my shirt. I started to giggle and she suddenly started making a teeth grinding noise. She's not trying to escape and she's very relaxed. Ooo, I'm so excited! c: I think she'll become a great cuddle buddy, haha!

They look black to me. Sometimes when she looks to the side I can see the whites of her eyes and a bit of blue.
Haha, that sounds fun. I'll try that c:


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

Rats train on tons of things, but they figure out our basic communications (laughter, sharp intakes of breath, showing teeth, sighing are a few I know my rats know). I train my rats based on making it a game by laughing and playing and they respond to that in lieu of offering treats. They're so smart!


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## Emi (Feb 25, 2014)

nanashi7 said:


> Rats train on tons of things, but they figure out our basic communications (laughter, sharp intakes of breath, showing teeth, sighing are a few I know my rats know). I train my rats based on making it a game by laughing and playing and they respond to that in lieu of offering treats. They're so smart!
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


What does it mean if a rats eyes are different colored?

Yeah, just earlier I had them out for 2hrs and I was crawling on the floor with them and giggling. (My brother's thought I was weird, haha, but I found it to be a lot more fun actually engaging with them.) Belle was nervous again and stuffed herself against the cage and the wall. I forced her out and held her in my hands, talking and petting her. All she did was squirm and tried to get away from me. Was it wrong of me to force hold her like that? Otherwise she would hide.


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## cagedbirdsinging (May 28, 2012)

nanashi7 said:


> When they grind their teeth together. It's like the equivalent of a purr, and they'll only brux when relaxing or happy -- bruxing with popping eyes (boggling) is like the anathema of happiness.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Bruxing is done in stress as well, just as a cat purr is.


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## Emi (Feb 25, 2014)

cagedbirdsinging said:


> Bruxing is done in stress as well, just as a cat purr is.


Ah.
Then maybe she was stressed? Because today she wanted no part of me. Should I force hold her or just hang around her and pet her?


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## DustyRat (Jul 9, 2012)

My Jet was the same way. Finally, now after 16 months and 16 days, she has become a more or less happy ratty. 
You could look at my posts about all the shyness I have had to deal with by Jet.


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