# Goodbye, Emilie Veronica.



## Blaze (Jul 16, 2012)

(I'm copying/pasting this from my tumblr, where I wrote it a few hours ago.)










One night, when Emilie was having a bad episode of her illness, and I thought she was dying then, I sung to her. I sung lyrics from “Amber Lynn” by Mayday Parade, and I replaced the name with Emilie’s name and changed one of the lines. I sang to her, “Emilie, you’ve got me wishing for the stars tonight. And I know I’ve been messed up, but oh, you got here just in time to save my life.” And that is because she did save my life.


Say what you will, call it stupid, but one rat taught me to love and taught me to appreciate life, despite all of its hard times. This is the story of that rat.










Emilie is named after the woman who inspired my decision to get pet rats, Emilie Autumn. I was a huge fan of her at the beginning of 2011, and so, I inevitably became interested in her interest in rats. After a bit of research, and missing the previous rodents, hamsters, that I had, I decided to get two little girlrats that I saw during a random visit to the pet store.


Emilie and Florence were young, about four or five months, kept in an aquarium, and probably sisters. I was captivated by them instantly, and so they were put in a little cardboard box, and I brought them to their new home. I knew from early on that Emilie was sick, as her sneezing began just a few days after coming home. She was never as strong as Florence. But, I set up a nice place for them in an aquarium until I could get them a big cage, and I played with them daily. I bragged about them to everyone, especially Emilie. I loved her big ears and how she was so much sweeter and loving than Florence, who was a little brat back in the day.


Emilie’s second name, Veronica, comes from one of the girls in Emilie Autumn’s “band.” A very pretty name for a very pretty rat. She was a mismarked hooded, with a black head and a spot on her back. She always had an agile frame, and would work her hardest to run, climb, and explore, never letting her constant wheezing stop her. She woke daily with porphyrin on her nose, and raspy breathing. But, she did not lay around and wallow in her misery, like many people I know with problems a lot less severe. Emilie was the sweetest rat I’ve ever known or owned. She never started fights, cuddled with her cagemates, and adored me. She’d ride on my shoulder for an hour at a time. She took nicely to Lisa, and I loved watching the two interact, because I could always tell that they were very close friends. Emilie would rest in my arms or on my lap, and boggle and brux, content as she could be. She most definitely made the most of her life, never complaining of what I’m sure was constant pain in her chest. Personally, I’ve always been one to over-react to everything and make a mountain out of a molehill. Emilie taught me differently. I’ve learned from watching her that pain doesn’t have to stop you - it can push you to work harder - and that life is precious and that you only have a certain amount of time to do the things that you want. Her death has also taught me this. I wish, more than anything in the world, that I’d spent less time worrying about people online who really meant nothing to me and more time with the rat whose life depended on me. Emilie taught me about unconditional love, and the power of friendship. She and Florence always favored one another, and spent nearly two years of their lives together. People say that a rat will never love a human more than its fellow rats, but I disagree. I believe that Emilie loved me more than she loved Florence, and I know that I love Emilie more than I’ve ever loved a lot of people.


The past month was hard for Emilie. She started losing weight like crazy, and I couldn’t get it back on her. She began to eat less and less, and eventually stopped drinking. Her sides sunk in and she acted as though her legs wouldn’t work right. She would lay around and wheeze. I cried my heart out over her, and I told her that she didn’t have to be scared. I apologized and told her that I loved her. I did this many nights, but even more so this evening. I decided that it would be better for her to be perfectly happy and healthy in paradise than to suffer here. So, I told her that it was okay to let go, then wrapped her in a towel and put her back in the cage, to give the other girls a chance to say goodbye. I found her at around 11 p.m. She was cold and still.


More than anything, I am so sorry to Emilie and honestly mad at myself for not spending more time with her. She needed me, and I didn’t realize until now that I needed her. She was there when I wanted to do horrible things to myself and when I wanted to give up on it all, and she made me feel better. And, instead, I spent all of my time worrying about a girl I’ve never met in real life, which was a stupid way to spend time that shouldn’t belonged to Emilie. 


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Before I put Emilie in her cage for the last time tonight, I promised her that I would start spending so much more time with the other rats and caring for them better, in her honor. That will become one of my biggest priorities. Emilie deserves it.


Emilie will always be the best rat in the world to me. She will be the rat that I compare every other rat to. She is my heart rat, my best friend, my sister, my babygirl, and my true love. And until the day when I meet her again, I will try my best to love every rat I ever meet with all of my heart, in the way that Emilie loved everyone she met with all of hers.


























Emilie Veronica. Born in late 2012 or early 2011. Adopted in April 2011, with Florence. Lived with Florence, Lorelei, London, Valdosta, Amelia, and Vera. Died December 16th, 2012. Emilie was a standard-furred, dumbo-eared, dark-eyed, mismarked black hooded doe. 










Emilie Veronica, I love you endlessly.


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## Poodlepalooza (Aug 9, 2012)

What a beautiful tribute! She & Veronica, and your other rats, are lucky to have found you. May the memories of your time together bring smiles to your face in the coming days! Hugs to you!


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## Blaze (Jul 16, 2012)

Thanks. <3 It's not two separate rats, though. Emilie Veronica was one rat. (I give my rats middle names, too.)


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## Poodlepalooza (Aug 9, 2012)

Sorry, had Veronica on the brain -meant to say Florence. My Penelope is actually Penelope Ann Milller (not really after the actress but that is whatpopped into my head when i was picking a name) so I get the middle name thing! Although I eventually starting shortening it to Penelope, then Nelope and now I pretty much call her Nels! Lol.


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## Blaze (Jul 16, 2012)

I did the same with Emilie! I called her Emi for short for a long time, and eventually dropped it to Em.


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## cladcat6 (Feb 3, 2008)

She was beautiful and like she was thinking rat like my rat Lily which died in May.Did you try combination of antibiotics to help her?did you try high calorie food when she was loosing weight?


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## Blaze (Jul 16, 2012)

I didn't try any antibiotics. Vet care has never been an option with any of my rats, sadly. I tried to help her out by keeping her cage clean and giving her fattening foods, but I think her whole body was slowly shutting down, she never put on any more weight once she started losing it.


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## cladcat6 (Feb 3, 2008)

Oh poor girl,looks like she had hind leg degeneration like my rat so she needed Metacam and baytril plus doxy that would have helped her with wheezing,do you not have vets where you live?


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## Blaze (Jul 16, 2012)

There are, but most of them aren't good with rats at all, and the few who are are incredibly expensive. It's not in my budget to take any of my animals to the vet, unfortunately. I couldn't even afford the basic visit at any of the vets.


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