# RANT: My family treat pets like disposable toys!!!!



## FiMarie

A few months ago one of my sisters got a chinchilla. She had him for a few months and then decided she didn't have enough time with him because of school work. So my mother rehomed him instead of making her take responsibility for her commitment. So for her birthday last week, my mother bought her a kitten. How, how, HOW does somebody have enough time for a kitten and not a chinchilla!?

I pointed this out and the answer is: The toughest part of the school year is over so she has more time now.

So I ask: Couldn't she have just sacrificed some social time to take care of the chinchilla for a couple more months until the tough part of the school year was over? Apparently, I need to mind my own business.

My mother asked for my opinion about the kitten before she got her and I said flat out that it's a bad idea. I told her: I harbored a lot of resentment toward her for all of my pets that were handed away, she's having serious financial issues right now and a kitten means more money for vet bills, food, toys, etc., there wasn't enough time for the chinchilla-so there isn't enough time for a kitten, school could be even more time consuming next year, she's going to college in a couple of years and cannot bring the kitten, housing in the area that allows pets is way too expensive for a college student, and this is a 15-20 year commitment that she is being given just as she's starting out on her adult journey.

My mother's response to this was: Well it's not a final decision yet, I was just wondering what your opinion was.



I was never one of those kids who had to beg mommy or daddy for A cat or A dog... if I wanted a pet, my mother gave me what I wanted for the most part. The only thing is, we've always been incredible poor. My mother doesn't view animals as a part of the family. She says she does, but she acts otherwise. I've had very few pets throughout my childhood who lived to a ripe-old age and died of natural causes. Usually, some illness occurs and it's cheaper for them to be put down or they start urinating in the house so instead of consulting a veterinarian or cleaning a litter box more often, the animal is re-homed. I've had pet after pet after pet just handed away. This means an absurd number of pets have come and gone... in fact animals in that house come and go as often as the faucet is turned on and off... and just as quickly!!!! It's frustrating to see my family treat animals as if they aren't a serious commitment. I didn't realize when I was a kid and living there how horrible it was... I was getting pets and it was awesome. It was horrible when they were given away, but I knew I would get more. For some reason, I never thought that the new pet would also be given away. It always came as a shock to me. Now that I'm on my own and I have commitments, I understand that a life isn't something to be passed around from one home to the next. Not that I ever wanted my mom to hand off my pets... Anyway, I really don't know how to get my mother to realize that she's doing something terrible. 

Some reasons my pets had to be rehomed:

A cat who wouldn't use the litter box (no veterinary consultation or frequent litter changes, just rehomed.)
The cat they currently have doesn't warm up to new kittens... so they've rehomed 2 kittens already (and are now trying a third.)
The birds were too loud.
They take too much time.
Somebody in the house is severely allergic to rabbits... so they've had rabbits 3 times and all 3 times gave them away because of this reason.
The neighbors didn't like the cats pooping in their mulch... and it was mean to keep them inside.
Somebody doesn't like their lizard anymore because it almost bit them once (allegedly).


Some unnatural ends:

A cat was bitten by a wild animal and put down just in case she had rabies.
An elderly cat was incontinent so she was put down.
A dog ate something toxic and we couldn't afford a vet so we watched her vomit blood until she died.


I'm starting to think my mother has some kind of mental illness where she thinks she NEEDS pets even though they don't fit into her life or budget...
Recently she's acquired (in addition to the kitten) two parakeets and two love birds. They already have 3 dogs, a cat and two lizards. They recently rehomed quails, rabbits, the chinchilla and some gerbils.


I really just needed to vent about this but any advice is appreciated... I don't think there's really anything I can do. While the animals are in the home, they're fed and cleaned up after. They're not violating any laws concerning how many pets they can own (it's an agricultural area, I've looked into it already). She obviously doesn't think she's doing anything wrong and she obviously doesn't want to listen to me. I'm just so.... FRUSTRATED!


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## zurfaces

At least they're cared for while they're with your family. Deep down it probably bothered her ar first that she couldn't afford to keep all these animals and her children are priority over the furry ones. Also children lose interest in things and before you know it the hamster guinea pig or whatever is being neglected. Rehoming them to a hopefully loving family is a better idea than having them sit in their cage sad and alone. 
It's probably a mental illness of sorts. Mixed with ignorance about pets and their behaviors. Id suggest helping to educate her about her pets... About how to properly introduce a cat to a new cat in the easiest way possible. 


My mom collected dogs after my brother left for the military. I never in 14 years had a dog i was lucky to have 1 cat. My mom ended up with 5 dogs and 3 cats by the time i was 19. Two bull mastiffs a husky a lab and an American eskimo. Not small dogs. Now she is down to the mastiffs and husky only. 



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## cagedbirdsinging

I know this type of person, and they are sadly common.

All I can offer is an understanding nod. There is little that can be done for this brand of ignorance.


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## ratchet

Agree with above. I worked at a shelter where owner surrenders were often.. And too frequent for comfort. As much as we all like to slay these people, all that can be done is to nod and move on in ways to help others willing to listen -- and better, change. 


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## Rumy91989

I have friends like this--they have a large variety of animals and every time I visit their house the animals they have are different. I don't know if they have any reason to rehome the ones they have other than that they get bored with them and want something different. I think it's a very immature way to view animal care--essentially they want something cute and fun and fluffy, but they don't want anything that requires work. When the work really sets in, or there's anything unpleasant about it, it's time to trade it in for another cute and fluffy that's not causing problems. It's very sad but it's hard to convince someone that their behavior is immature, etc.
I just hope that your mother's animals have found good, permanent homes, and I'm glad that, though you were raised in that environment, you have a much more mature attitude about it and are willing to be a true, responsible pet owner.


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## Hero-wuff

Aw i feel bad for you man :C
My parents are pretty good at keeping a limit on animals and they know the work for them and such. 
We have never re-homed anything, i have two rats, a bearded dragon, giant millipede and two dogs. I can't even go on holiday because i am staying to watch my animals. Animals are commitments until their ends, i wouldn't let my parents re-home any of my animals (My mam tried to get rid of my dog but i refused to let him go)
It must be heart braking to watch so many come and go.
Many hugs <3


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## Eden10

I also know people like this...sadly its pretty common. My step-daughter's mum is like this...she's had so many pit bull dogs, get them as puppies then decide they aren't right for her & get rid of them & tell the kids the dog ran away...its messed up...but nothing to do with me. At the moment thankfully she's stuck with the 2 dogs they currently have for a while now...& somehow she got a job as a vet tech so hopefully she will be more mature. My fiance has told me about when they were together she would buy all kinds of pets & get rid of them when she or the kids got bored...she got the kids each a rabbit (got a male rabbit for her son & a female rabbit for her daughter/my step-daughter...*slaps forehead*) course the rabbits mated & she just put them all outside in the yard & left them to multiply & run wild...til there got too many & they had to do something about them. Then she got mice & turned them loose in the house when she didn't want them coz they bit the kids...just sounds crazy! Oh & even got a baby chick on impulse & kept it in her car coz it grew up & she had nowhere to keep it! Idk how my fiance put up with it at the time lol! Does make you angry tho...I feel your frustration!


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## thelittleredladybug

Ah, I feel your pain. I have many people in my life like this. It bugs the heck out of me that animals are treated as a flavor of the week.


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## RosesRufflesandRats

It really is quite frustrating, and it's part of our disposable society. What used to be a commitment isn't anymore. Accept an invitation, if you get a better one, text at the last minute to say you can't come! Sure, rush into marriage and then to divorce, rinse and repeat several times, racking up as many kids from different marriages as you can! And when people use "disposables," they don't think about what happens later. Water bottles, diapers, paper plates, plastic utensils, all go in the garbage and poof! disappear. The same with pets, people think it's ok to dump their pets at shelters, or put them in other homes which will also view them as disposable. It's so frustrating and stupid, but that's your modern American society for you. GRRRR!!!!!


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## Ruby&Lola

My mother would often rehome lots of my dogs back when I was young And she sometimes use the "they ran away" excuse. I hated that! My dad tho keeps all the dogs he has. My step dad treat animals like their trash especially my pets. Which led to a fight not too long ago. Tho now I've grown a small back bone and won't let them even think about getting rid of my babies. I only rehomed a hairless rat due to Ruby and Lola not really warming up to her. But she's now wit my bf who loves her and she's happy.


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## PaigeRose

I work at a holistic and all natural pet food store and I see both sides of this. I get people who feed their pets better than themselves and treat their animals like royalty. I have also seen this go too far where the people over humanize their animal (especially dogs) to the point where their pooches are so spoiled that they have behavioral issues. The only way they can be fixed is if the owner changes their tune which is RARE yet possible. 

On the other hand, my biggest pet peeve is when people come in looking for puppies. Theres a HUGE sign on our door at eye-level that says "We ♥ puppies... thats why we dont sell them!" Sadly, even though I shove the names of rescues in their faces, most people would rather drop the money and support puppy mills in a one-stop-shop than work with a rescue or even the SPCA/Humane Society.

Drives me nuts. Just a few weeks ago I had a woman come in (nice white coat, long bleach blonde hair, overly tan, too much makeup... just to give you a visual) saying her sons brought a puppy home. Casually, because its part of my job, I asked where they got her and what she still needed. She said "a breeder's farm out in Lancaster". Instant red flags. Hiding my alarm, I asked what kind of dog is was and did they see the parents. "Its a cavalier yorkie. I didnt see them but i wanted a small dog! This thing is already over 5 pounds! They said the mom was a yorkie and the dad was a cavalier but the mom was bigger than the dad! I told them to get a small dog. How big is she going to get? I dont want anything over 10 pounds, thats just too big!" Oh man i wish i could have let it all out on her, first off, theres no way the parents would be sized like that unless it was the other way around or they were both mixes already. This lady claimed she had "papers" and the parents were pure bred. She clearly had NO idea what to do with a dog, much less a puppy, so I advised her best I could, told her if she had any problems she could come in or call and ask, etc. She dropped close to 300$ without batting an eye.

Ignorant people UGH. Btw, I am not trying to knock anyone here on the forum, I do not know the personal experience of anyone here but myself and every case is different.


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## RosesRufflesandRats

PaigeRose said:


> I work at a holistic and all natural pet food store and I see both sides of this. I get people who feed their pets better than themselves and treat their animals like royalty. I have also seen this go too far where the people over humanize their animal (especially dogs) to the point where their pooches are so spoiled that they have behavioral issues. The only way they can be fixed is if the owner changes their tune which is RARE yet possible.
> 
> On the other hand, my biggest pet peeve is when people come in looking for puppies. Theres a HUGE sign on our door at eye-level that says "We ♥ puppies... thats why we dont sell them!" Sadly, even though I shove the names of rescues in their faces, most people would rather drop the money and support puppy mills in a one-stop-shop than work with a rescue or even the SPCA/Humane Society.
> 
> Drives me nuts. Just a few weeks ago I had a woman come in (nice white coat, long bleach blonde hair, overly tan, too much makeup... just to give you a visual) saying her sons brought a puppy home. Casually, because its part of my job, I asked where they got her and what she still needed. She said "a breeder's farm out in Lancaster". Instant red flags. Hiding my alarm, I asked what kind of dog is was and did they see the parents. "Its a cavalier yorkie. I didnt see them but i wanted a small dog! This thing is already over 5 pounds! They said the mom was a yorkie and the dad was a cavalier but the mom was bigger than the dad! I told them to get a small dog. How big is she going to get? I dont want anything over 10 pounds, thats just too big!" Oh man i wish i could have let it all out on her, first off, theres no way the parents would be sized like that unless it was the other way around or they were both mixes already. This lady claimed she had "papers" and the parents were pure bred. She clearly had NO idea what to do with a dog, much less a puppy, so I advised her best I could, told her if she had any problems she could come in or call and ask, etc. She dropped close to 300$ without batting an eye.
> 
> Ignorant people UGH. Btw, I am not trying to knock anyone here on the forum, I do not know the personal experience of anyone here but myself and every case is different.



I know what you mean about over-humanizing animals. I used to puppysit for this woman who usually took her dog EVERYWHERE and was literally never apart from him. Well, when she would go on a trip and I would puppysit, I had to stay there all day, everyday, or he would have gone nuts. I'm telling you, it was the worst case of separation anxiety I have ever seen. I couldn't even close the door when I went to the bathroom or he would injure himself by flinging his little body against it, making sounds like he was being murdered. It was awful.


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## PaigeRose

-shakeshead- People.


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## Ruby&Lola

I no I posted already before but my step dad just made me so mad yet again. The fight that had occurred between him and my mother was over the fact that he wouldn't let me feed my cat (even tho he let me since I found her) and my mother had yelled at him about that. So I get home before he does. Feed her and make sure she eats it all and leave her a cup of water before going inside. When I look out in the backyard to see if she sun bathing he's out there cheking where I fed her. Chances r he probably dumped out her water. I can't stand him! He'll say "don't worry about feeding her." as if she can catch food on her own which would be hard for her since she's declawed! Grrrr!


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## I love all my girls

My mother was like that "Their just stupid animals". She would get my sisters pets. She claims she got me a hamster when I was young & that it "escaped" which I think is a crock. I have no memory of it. "We want a bird,We want a cat, We want a dog". & they got them. Not all at once there but yeah. The animal we had that she couldn't get rid of were fish. She took horrible care of even them & they all died. They begged & cried for them but never took care of them. They only played with them or gave it attention when it suited them. I did all the actual care. They would be gone in the night. No time to say bye. They didn't even rehome them or put them into shelters. They dropped them into the middle of no where. Then I finally bonded with a calico which I named them all of course. Her name was snowflake. She got me through the worst of the bullying & abuse. They were going to get rid of her too. They only kept them for a year. I hid her & she was trained by me so she only came out when I told her it was safe. I fought them on it & even threatened to tell my sisters what really happened. They said that they ran away. So I made a very good case & won. So I had her for 10 yrs. Then I got pregnant with my daughter. I was a victim of domestic violence is what they are calling it. It was more like attempted murder. She was almost decapitated during. I grabbed her into the bathroom & locked the door to call police. I saved her life & she saved mine many times over. So I had to move in to my parents til my new place was fixed up. They pulled the "your sister is allergic" crap. She was allergic the whole time & it didn't bother her. The real reason? She didn't want to clean her litter for me. So she rehomed her to a woman who I thought id get her back from once I was in my place but that woman got rid of her & I have no idea where she is now or if she's even alive. So I lost my best friend cuz my mother has mental issues which she completely denies even though she's on meds. But she's out of my life by her own stupidity. Im the type of girl who couldnt take biology cuz of the dissection. I still want to save all the animals but I don't have the room or funds to save them all. when my daughter told my sister that we were getting rats she told her that she was gonna feed them to her bfs snake. My daughter said"you don't say that auntie. That's mean!" My daughter was so upset. She's only 3 & she knows more than my 18 yr old sister. I don't let them see her anymore. I'm not gonna let them mess her up like they did to me. You should see her with them. Bella is hers & she's so proud of that. She picked her & named her. She feeds them & tries to play with them when our cat isn't around. Oreo is a bred mouser. She skinned her knee today playing outside. Yesterday Bella got her toe injured. "I got a bo bo like Bella now. Poor me & Bella. " she says. If someone is holding her that she doesn't want to she tells them "she's mine! " she's already got my defense for animals that we love. She loves sharing her snacks with them. Today with her cheesies was priceless. I know that I'm teaching her right how to love & care for animals. 

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## Ltukey

wow. I feel for you. its hard loving kin&kith but hating all the choices they make. you make me feel so lucky that even w/their glaring issues my parents also rescue rats&keep pets well into geriatric care. the rats are the best thing that ever happened to my family. ive never had a better relationship w/my parents then when they kept rats as well. it diffused other issues as every call centered around who was well who was ill who had veggie leftovers was cooking something good to share made toys etc. one of the best things about you is you see& recognize the cycle & didnt jump aboard. theres not much you can DO that wont be bad for your home life, but a list of animals & there eventual end would be either enlightening or cause massive havoc so don't do it. as silly as it sounds now things will be better when your on your own. I know how that sounded when I was living w/parents but it will get better when your on your own. I also sacrificed well over 10+years full time living w/& caring for my gram who didn't care for rats(my trio when I moved was my caveat) but ended up loving them & spoiling them rotten, adopting more, etc. as did my parents who became fond of, the adopted, then rescued. if nothing else responsibility was expected growing up to an extreme. remember all that we survive helps shape us. I was always the grownup even as a child so its horrifying to hear how you have no real input. just having a place to vent is a start.


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## rinny11

Fortunately, I never had a problem with this. Though my mother didn't let me get many pets, we had a dog who was a true part of the family and lived to the ripe old age of 16. I miss her as a sister. But moving out was still the best thing ever. I advise you to remember that; you're not likely to change your family that much, but you can always grow to leave them when its possible. It took me longer than I wanted due to a big disability that arose when I was 19, but I finally moved out and I couldn't be happier. I have 3 cats (boyfriend's but they love me to death), 6 betta fish, 5 rats, and two snakes (his big California king snake and my 2 foot long so far corn snake). I get to live the way I want and don't have to hear criticism constantly for my choices, and I'm much less stressed than I used to be. I was dying to move out ever since I was twelve. All I can tell you is that it gets better!


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## FiMarie

So that kitten that was mentioned in the OP. . . re-homed last month because she needs "too much attention." Ugh...


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## Devyn

That was hard to read. It's very sad, but these kind of people exist everywhere and there's nowt you can do about it.

I know someone who rehomed their entire colony immediately after losing their heart rat. This person went through cycles of acquiring new rats and then sending them away when they couldn't live up to that exceptional one. I don't know where they were relocated to, I don't know if they're okay.


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## annoellyn

my family is the EXACT SAME WAY!!! It's so frustrating. My mom's re-homed two cats just to replace them a month later, re-homed two dog to buy three more, and re-homed a chinchilla for really no reason. She had an excuse for each one but i always believed that when you adopt a pet you should be willing/able to to deal with problems that arise or not adopt that pet, period. 
I own a rabbit who i've had for 6 years and had to spend a considerable amount of money on vet bills due to an eye infection. my mom flat out told me would not have done it, she would have just given it away. and whenever i'm telling someone about my pets my mom always starts telling them how much money i spent for the infection.
but i suppose it makes me love animals all the more and want to be a better pet mom.


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## Jaguar

My sister is guilty of this. I've ranted about it on here before. Dogs left to roam loose and get hit by cars, cats locked outside to get eaten by predators... she's had 2 dogs die getting run over on the highway and at least 8 cats mauled by the dogs, eaten by coyotes, or just lost. She buys horses, breeds them, gives them away... buys goats and gives them away when they're too big and not cute any more... buys chicks and doesn't build them a proper coop so they get eaten by the dogs... feeds every single animal the cheapest, shittiest feed she can find... the dogs literally get No Name dog food. It's sick. Not a **** thing I can do about it, either.


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## ahrat

I haven't ever experience this personally. My mum and I lived on a farm alone. We never had more than two dogs that were ours. But we trained hunting dogs so we had kennels. We just lost our first beagle who was a crap hunter so he turned into a pudgy cuddle boy. We had him for 13 years. It happened months ago and were still recovering. Even the animals we killed on our farms we mourned a bit. My mum actually rescued our first lab mix from my uncle who is this way. He wanted a really trained guard dog. But didn't want to train her. My mum took her and trained her and she was the perfect dog. Of course my uncle wanted the dog back after that. My mum basically told him to get lost. That dog was there the day I came home from the hospital and I was there when we had her put down. Animals are so rewarding if you just see them through! I always had small animals growing up and my mum never took care of them for me. It's really a responsibility thing in my eyes. If you truly love something you take responsibility for it. 


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## RadiantRatties

My mom is the same way and it kills me. I live with my dad but my sister lives with my mom. My sister bought a rabbit and a few weeks later decided she didn't want it anymore. So my mom gave it away. I had a dog and my mom didn't want to take the time to help me train it when I was little so she gave it away. I was devastated. I went to camp when I was about fifteen and my mom gave away the cat I had owned my entire life. I have never forgiven her for it and harbor a deep grudge for her doing similar things to me. Needless to say, I no longer live with my mother but not for only those reasons. Just like how the animals weren't loved, the people didnt receive proper care either. It's sad but true. 


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## cagedbirdsinging

Try to keep an eye on thread dates to avoid "bumping" threads that have been inactive for more than a few weeks. 

Thank you!


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