# Circe, my baby girl



## ibrevity (Dec 13, 2011)

I know I'm brand new on this forum, but I needed some 'reflection' time and I thought searching for a rat forum was a good idea. My family just doesn't understand. They all think Circe was "just a rat".









(Circe cuddling under my shirt, a favorite activity of hers)

Well, she wasn't.

Circe was my baby girl. She was my third rat, after I adopted two bucks separately (hoping to house them together, which never did work out). I wasn't planning on getting any more rats, at least for a while, and that did hold true; for about a month. I was at the pet store buying some more bedding when I wandered over to the small animal section. I love looking at them all, and besides that, I just had this... calling. This random urge that I _had _to look.

And that's when I saw her. Circe was a beautiful little cream Siamese, a little thing when I first bought her, and the boss lady of her cagemates. I walked over, put one finger to her glass, and watched her come up immediately to me and press against my finger from her side.

You can probably guess what happened next.









(The day after I got her; a cute little thing, mmm?)

My heart just melted. I knew right then and there I had to have to her. I brought it up to my mother, who had swore she would never get me any more, and I don't know, maybe she just knew something was right here too, because she gave in. I took Circe home that evening.

She was a vibrant little thing, by far the most intelligent rat I have ever worked with. She had such a huge personality stuffed into a small body (which, by the way, got HUGE. I always got comments that she was downright giant for a doe). I read about health benefits and got her spayed not shortly after. I remember that I wanted to do anything to make sure this gal lived the best life she ever possibly could.









(in my backyard, looking adorable~)

Quickly enough, Circe was just my world. I'll admit here that at that time I had been in a deep depression, something that I never shared with anybody; I cried all the time over things that know I scoff at. Let's just say I learned how to grow a skin.

I never got Circe a companion, because I was everything to her. Let me explain. I had Circe out probably eight hours of the day, morning to night. She did everything with me; showered, went on errands, rode in the car, whatever. She was always friendly but never left my shoulder, so I was comfortable taking her everywhere. If she was afraid, she would scamper down to my hand and ask for cuddles, and I always made sure she was well-taken care of.

There were days I just couldn't bear to look at her pretty little face leaving and I would sneak her to school with me (with proper food and water sources packed, no worries guys, lol!). You'd be surprised how many times I got away with that!









(one of my favorite pictures of her, in the clover patch outside)

Time passed. She got older (and bigger!). I had vet check-ups every three months to make sure she was fine, and at any sign of illness, I took her immediately.

I treated her like a part of my family, and that she was. Everybody who met her loved her, even if they didn't like rats. She was never aggressive, never bit anybody, and always wanted to be held. She would go on walks with me and fall asleep cradled in my hands.

As any rat owner knows, rats have a painfully short lifespan. She started getting older, but she didn't let it slow her down much. Circe was always a stubborn girl.

One day after coming home from school and eating lunch with her, I just had this sudden... knowledge. I looked down at my old gal and kissed her head and started to cry. She had a habit of licking my tears off my cheeks when I cried with her, and she climbed slowly up there and started. I buried my face into her fur and whispered goodbye. I just knew something was coming.

The next morning, I woke up and found her dead. She was curled up in her favorite bowl, upside-down of course. She looked to die completely peacefully and painlessly, in sleep.

That was September 22nd, of this year. To this day I still have dreams about her, and little things set me off; seeing shirts the color of her fur, seeing one of my other rats doing something she used to do. It's so painful to be without her, and none of my friends or family really get it. They think I'm being dramatic, or weird about the whole thing. My mother told me just today that it has definitely been long enough for me to "get over it".

Geez, writing this had me just dissolved in tears, haha.









(my ultimate favorite pic of her... outside on a blooming pear tree)

Well, thanks for listening through my rambles, stranger community!

I guess I'm just hoping somebody can tell me they understand. I've lost four rats (counting her), and I have four sisters right now. I have never bonded to another animal, or even a person, like I did Circe. Anyone else have an experience like this? A rat that just digs her paws into your heart and never, ever lets go.

Love you, baby girl. <3
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## Kinsey (Jun 14, 2009)

I'm so sorry you lost her- I think of all animals, rats are hardest to say goodbye to. -hugs-


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## BigBen (Nov 22, 2011)

She was adorable. Thank you for sharing your memories of her. They do just move into your heart and nest there, don't they?


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## krys (Dec 4, 2011)

ibrevity said:


> I guess I'm just hoping somebody can tell me they understand. I've lost four rats (counting her), and I have four sisters right now. I have never bonded to another animal, or even a person, like I did Circe. Anyone else have an experience like this? A rat that just digs her paws into your heart and never, ever lets go.


I sure can understand. 

It's really very difficult to explain in words this kind of bond to a non-rat person...


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## DivineSheep (Sep 24, 2011)

That's a beautiful story. I hope writing this and going through all your lovely pictures helped the heartache, hun. I get really cheered up when I talk about my rats and share their pictures.

Try to remember all the joy she gave you and vice versa, and don't concentrate too much on her passing- she had a very happy life. <3


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## noMoreFaith (Apr 28, 2010)

Sweet story and gorgeous photos. I understand how you feel. As the poster above me said, don't concentrate on her passing: she lived a full life and died peacefully. Think of all the worst things that could have happened: a little rat I got once got progressively sicker and died slowly, because we couldn't find ANY vet to put her to sleep. I once lost one of my rats, and if I hadn't found her, she would've died either of eating rat poison, eaten by a cat, or run over by a car-she'd die in fear and panic. This particular experience helped me accept that my rats will die some day-made me think that at least they'll live their lives full, and die in a safe enviromment when it's time to. In the future, you will think of her with a smile: eventually, I think you will not be depressed that she died, but happy that she had an interesting and full of new experiences life.


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