# Im done just done



## thenightgoddess

*burts into tears* Just because I don't have the money to get Toto neutered right now(I am planning to in the next few months) doesn't mean I shouldn't get another cage mate for Miz who has done nothing wrong, loves other rats, and has never been alone before this. I am being yelled at from another rat group because I am going to look at another cage mate for him tomorrow. I get hurt very easy and have anxiety problems and now I am very depressed and crying and want to die.


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## gotchea

Don't fret. Flavor flav once said "if it don't apply, let it fly." It's just the internet. They don't know you or your rats. I'm not saying you should or should not get another rat. But really it's your life, and the rats will be in your care. So it's your choice. Be happy! Life is okay.


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## thenightgoddess

They are telling me I should get rid of them just because I can't get one boy neutered right away and are accusing me of just buying stuff for myself when almost all my money this past month has gone to the animals the stuff they are bringing up were over a month ago before this stuff started happening. Since toto started getting aggressive I started saving to get him neutered and I moved them into a modified ferret cage because I was hoping it would keep Toto from getting aggressive toward Miz because of the extra space.


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## kksrats

What happened to Dublin? Honestly, you're taking the same course of action that I would take if getting a spare cage and cage mate for the non-aggressor was the cheapest option. Hopefully once you're able to get toto neutered he'll be able to live with Miz and any friends you may have gotten for him. It seems odd sometimes that getting another rat or more rat stuff can be the solution to rat problems, but it's definitely not selfish. Selfish would be putting him on cl for free because he bit you. You're doing fine hun *hugs*


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## bloomington bob

Gotchea is right! Don't listen to what people on that forum are telling you. Do what you think is best - and people here will be supportive.


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## gotchea

They are nobody to you. People all have different opinions. Your focus should be you and yours. If you feel it's right to get another rat, go with your gut. If your gut says you are in over your head, maybe foster a rat friend for your buddy.


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## thenightgoddess

kksrats said:


> What happened to Dublin? Honestly, you're taking the same course of action that I would take if getting a spare cage and cage mate for the non-aggressor was the cheapest option. Hopefully once you're able to get toto neutered he'll be able to live with Miz and any friends you may have gotten for him. It seems odd sometimes that getting another rat or more rat stuff can be the solution to rat problems, but it's definitely not selfish. Selfish would be putting him on cl for free because he bit you. You're doing fine hun *hugs*


I tried to intro Dublin but he started getting aggressive with Miz and I am worried he is going to end up attacking him if I keep trying. He puffed up and jumped on him and pulled out some hair the second time I tried to put them together.


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## gotchea

If you foster than the medical stuff for that rat is taken care of, so financially you don't really have to worry. Since you are struggling with money. Plus, then you help a rat in need and no one can really talk **** to you about helping a poor little rattie! If you are sensitive, maybe having a foster will bring in positive comments for your situation and that will make you feel good! If that makes sense.


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## thenightgoddess

gotchea said:


> If you foster than the medical stuff for that rat is taken care of, so financially you don't really have to worry. Since you are struggling with money. Plus, then you help a rat in need and no one can really talk **** to you about helping a poor little rattie! If you are sensitive, maybe having a foster will bring in positive comments for your situation and that will make you feel good! If that makes sense.


I don't know of anywhere that would foster out rats to me the only rat rescue I know of around here the main person that is saying this stuff is part of so they wouldn't let me. Also that is kind of what I am doing with Dublin he needed a home that would take care of an only rat correctly since they need a lot of out of the cage time but they just yelled at me about that too saying I shouldn't have taken him.


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## RePyper

I'm new and don't know much of what's going on, but sounds like you should leave the other site to me. :/

Do you know of any pet stores around you that might be able to help or have contacts? Maybe if you can find someone nearby that has a rattie that needs a new home (like Craigslist or somthing).

As for one of the person's being mean towards you being a person that wouldn't sell to you because of this, you could get a friend or family member to go in to get one for you? It would be harder to pick one out, but at least you could get one. >:


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## thenightgoddess

RePyper said:


> I'm new and don't know much of what's going on, but sounds like you should leave the other site to me. :/
> 
> Do you know of any pet stores around you that might be able to help or have contacts? Maybe if you can find someone nearby that has a rattie that needs a new home (like Craigslist or somthing).
> 
> As for one of the person's being mean towards you being a person that wouldn't sell to you because of this, you could get a friend or family member to go in to get one for you? It would be harder to pick one out, but at least you could get one. >:


I have found a group of seven boys that need a home at a shelter there only $10 and I was going to get one or two but they are saying I shouldn't because I don't have the money to neuter the one I already have.


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## chapstickaddict

thenightgoddess said:


> I have found a group of seven boys that need a home at a shelter there only $10 and I was going to get one or two but they are saying I shouldn't because I don't have the money to neuter the one I already have.


Um, because you came to the "other group" when one of your rats was sick and gasping for air. When asked why you can't go to the vet, you said your boyfriend wouldn't let you take him. So that rat died a really sad death. You're consistently telling us you don't have money for this, that, or the other when it comes to vet care then asking which subscription mail-order shampoo you should buy. It's not that you're daring to spend money on yourself, it's that you say you are literally broke when it comes to vet care but then are buying all kinds of other crap. 

So no, people said you shouldn't get another rat when you can't afford the vet care for ANY of the rats you currently have. It seems really irresponsible, but I suppose we are all just big meanies. By the way, the rat community is really small and word tends to get around.

Edit: Also, are you people seriously suggesting defrauding a rescue to get someone more animals that they can't afford?


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## KrazyKritterz

Chapstickaddict is correct Rat Community is small there are only a couple good Rat forums that anyone really communicates on even though there are many forums some havent had posts in years. Chances are and im not the only one .....that if you are part of one you are part of all of them. I am on 3 different ones and to complain about 1 to the other can cause issues because so many are joined to both same goes for facebook groups...I know recently I havr seen bad talk about 1 of the groups I am part off....I know there are others on this site also linked to that facebook group. Just saying.


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## gotchea

I don't think I suggested fraud?


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## thenightgoddess

That rat actually lived for a few more months after receving antibiotics he was almost 3 years old and it was his tumor that ended up killing him don't talk about what you don't know. I haven't bought anything for myself in a long time I actually just ordered more stuff with my paycheck I just got for the rats and The boy is going to end up getting neutered in a month or so once Ive saved up part of the money for it my HUSBAND is going to pay for the rest of it. I only got the shampoo once and it only cost me $20 for that first time and because I use coupons and return what I don't like I probably only spent like $50 on makeup over more then a months time and that is because I was just starting out


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## chapstickaddict

thenightgoddess said:


> That rat actually lived for a few more months after receving antibiotics he was almost 3 years old and it was his tumor that ended up killing him don't talk about what you don't know. I haven't bought anything for myself in a long time I actually just ordered more stuff with my paycheck I just got for the rats and The boy is going to end up getting neutered in a month or so once Ive saved up part of the money for it. I only got the shampoo once and it only cost me $20 for that first time and because I use coupons and such I probably only spent like $50 on makeup over more then a months time.


A month? It was five months as of yesterday. I can grab screen shots if you'd like, but i'm not actually that interested in doing so. I would just consider how small the rat community is before blasting a "woe is me everyone is so mean" story that is entirely different from what you're saying elsewhere. You've also stated that a $50 gift card couldn't get you anything you wanted, so on the other group it oscillated wildly between how you don't need money and how you're always broke.


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## Voltage

I can understand why people are hesitant to shell out a few hundred to get a neuter. I'm in that boat myself. I spent $105 on medicine for my rats but am hesitant to spend $200 on a neuter. I'm scared something will go awry with the neuter because I don't have a trusted vet and I've heard quite a few horror stories. I'm also scared I will spend that money on a neuter and not have enough for a more serious problem afterward. 
You know what they say, when it rains it pours.
I also was in the situation of family refusing to let me take my rats to the vet. Turns out they only wouldn't let me because I was freaking out about small things. When Toast NEEDED to go to the vet my dad drove me across town to the only vet that would see me without an appointment that very day.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## thenightgoddess

chapstickaddict said:


> A month? It was five months as of yesterday. I can grab screen shots if you'd like, but i'm not actually that interested in doing so. I would just consider how small the rat community is before blasting a "woe is me everyone is so mean" story that is entirely different from what you're saying elsewhere. You've also stated that a $50 gift card couldn't get you anything you wanted, so on the other group it oscillated wildly between how you don't need money and how you're always broke.


When you posted that I wasn't in need of anything I had everything I needed that isn't over $100 and that was just stuff that I wanted and the rats weren't having any problems at the time and had everything they needed. Like even today I spent $50 on the rats and nothing on myself. Ive been barely eating over the past week because I have been stressed and depressed. Most of the money that I make goes straight to my bills and the animals. I only get paid $200-$300 usually less then more every two weeks.


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## PawsandClaws

Okay. I am not trying to be in the least mean but I really do not think getting more rats is a good idea. Believe me, I understand your situation and I highly sympathize but I feel that if you need to ask the community for money for the vets, than you are not in a position to bring more rats into your household. Also there is no guarantee that this will work out. What if the new rats fight with your resident rats, what if they get sick, what if you eventually have to neuter them too because they are aggressive. I am really not trying to lecture you, just hoping you can see the bigger picture of what you need to be financially prepared for. In the first month of us having our trio of baby boys, we shelled out more than $500 on vet bills. It was not expected. To have rats so young be so desperately ill but it can and does happen. I believe that your paycheck goes to your rats, I really do but buying them new toys and things does not compare to thousands of dollars in possible vet bills. If ALL of your rats get sick and they all need to be seen by a vet, medicated and maybe even neutered - would you be able to afford it? It is something to consider and to have a realistic plan for I think. The last thing I want to do is make you feel miserable or make you feel like I am yelling at you. I know intentions can be good but you do not want to be overwhelmed. I really think you should look into fostering for a shelter or local rescue as an alternative.


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## Blackthorn

gotchea said:


> I don't think I suggested fraud?[/QUOTE
> 
> RePyper suggested that the OP send someone to adopt for her from the rescue since they wouldn't adopt to her. That's fraud and extremely unethical. You don't have to agree with the reasons a rescue denies someone (though you should consider that perhaps you are only hearing part of the story), but you should at least respect their decision and not try to illegally circumvent it.


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## thenightgoddess

PawsandClaws said:


> Okay. I am not trying to be in the least mean but I really do not think getting more rats is a good idea. Believe me, I understand your situation and I highly sympathize but I feel that if you need to ask the community for money for the vets, than you are not in a position to bring more rats into your household. Also there is no guarantee that this will work out. What if the new rats fight with your resident rats, what if they get sick, what if you eventually have to neuter them too because they are aggressive. I am really not trying to lecture you, just hoping you can see the bigger picture of what you need to be financially prepared for. In the first month of us having our trio of baby boys, we shelled out more than $500 on vet bills. It was not expected. To have rats so young be so desperately ill but it can and does happen. I believe that your paycheck goes to your rats, I really do but buying them new toys and things does not compare to thousands of dollars in possible vet bills. If ALL of your rats get sick and they all need to be seen by a vet, medicated and maybe even neutered - would you be able to afford it? It is something to consider and to have a realistic plan for I think. The last thing I want to do is make you feel miserable or make you feel like I am yelling at you. I know intentions can be good but you do not want to be overwhelmed. I really think you should look into fostering for a shelter or local rescue as an alternative.


Even after I get him neutered I plan on still saving $40 a month in case of future problems.


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## gotchea

Blackthorn said:


> gotchea said:
> 
> 
> 
> I don't think I suggested fraud?[/QUOTERePyper suggested that the OP send someone to adopt for her from the rescue since they wouldn't adopt to her. That's fraud and extremely unethical. You don't have to agree with the reasons a rescue denies someone (though you should consider that perhaps you are only hearing part of the story), but you should at least respect their decision and not try to illegally circumvent it.
> 
> 
> 
> thanks for clearin that up! I was trying to look back at what I wrote. I thought maybe the mentioning that the reascue will pay for medical vets for their rat was taken the wrong way.
Click to expand...


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## Blackthorn

Look, thenightgoddess. If you get more rats, you very well could end up with them being sick right off the bat (and if you don't quarantine in a separate airspace - not the same house - you could easily get all your other rats sick as well), or needing to be neutered themselves. You could easily end up with 4-5 separate cages of single rats, ALL needing to be neutered. Based on what you have told us you do not even have the funds to take care of your current rats and get them what they need to be happy and healthy (neutering is not an elective surgery in this situation) and your ability to care for them is also dictated by others. Adding more would be a big mistake.

Please focus on doing what needs to be done for your current rats' well-being, health, and happiness, and consider if you cannot meet their needs it may be best to rehome them. It is not fair to them to be kept alone for months. Rats are sadly very expensive pets and really not the best choice for those on a very limited income.

It's also ridiculous that your breeder won't "allow" you to neuter a rat aggressive male because she wants to take him back a few times for breeding(!) Hormonal aggression is genetic. She has a history of producing aggressive rats already, clearly she is not taking that seriously at all.

I also strongly suggest you read up on introducing rats properly. You rushed into attempting intros with your rats and almost guaranteed that it wouldn't work out. Intros between adult intact males need to be very gradual and can take weeks.


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## sarah424

OP you know your situation better than anyone, be honest with yourself & think realistically. It's no one else's business what you spend your money on, but if you are struggling or want to have money to buy those things for yourself (perfectly normal to treat yourself now & again...) now may not be a good time to add more rats. It certainly doesn't sound like you need any more stress in your life, I hope everything works out for you


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## lovelyemptiness

Jesus a lot of people are ganging up on you hun and I am so so sorry. I don't know the situation, I can't suggest what to do with said rats because I don't know and its NONE of my business (cue to those who might not really know as much as they thing they do, to maybe back off a hair?) I would personally be interested in trying Rat daddies immersion techniques with both of them BEFORE jumping on nuetering him. maybe if he knows youre the boss, **** be nicer to the other rattie? again I don't know. However I also suffer from extreme depresssion and anxiety and if you need someone to talk to about that as far as it concerns your rats, or rat related forum, I would totally not mind at all if you sent me a message privately.


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## ksaxton

Is your current financial situation just temporary , or is that how it'll be for a long time? It can be a slippery slope, first you get a rat, then you find out it needs a friend, then a better cage, better food, vet trips, and it just keeps growing and growing so it can be very overwhelming. At the end of the day it's your decision, so really you just need to keep your rat's best interests in mind above all else. That's all anyone's concern is, they don't want you getting more rats if financially it would be irresponsible, as it would be bad for them and you would end up in a situation where they desperately need something, and you can't afford it. Many of us have been there, and no one wants to be there of course so it's best to make the right decisions in order to avoid it. Have you talked to Rat Daddy about the intro trouble? I've heard male intros can take forever, and sometimes you've got to let them scuff it out a bit. I hope it all works out for you, just take a deep breath. It'll be okay.


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