# Some "Best friend"



## Fraido (Oct 1, 2014)

So, I decided I needed to have a little rant.

I had this best friend, best friends since JK! I can see clearly now that she is not worthy of that status. Far from, actually.
She has abandoned me, and I am so incredibly bothered by the fact that she did what she did. I don't even know how to start this little 'story', so I'll just start off with a little background info of sorts, I guess.
Her and I had been friends pretty much all of our lives, we clicked that first day of JK, and we were a little duo. In school, I was friends with her, and really only her. I don't get along well with other people, I never have, I'm shy and socially awkward (I honestly think I have some social anxiety going on). But she got along well with others, and she had other friends.
She was pretty much all I had. We were in the same class I believe all but one year. We never really got the chance to hangout at my place or hers, but in seventh grade when we were older and able to do our own thing, she would come over almost every day after school. There were days though that we would plan for her to come over, then at the end of the day she would tell me she just doesn't want to come over anymore and she'll come over tomorrow. She wouldn't ever give me an actual reason, yet I knew what it was. She was going over to another friend of ours house, who she's much closer with. She would never admit it, and would lie about it. But I shrugged that off.
After grade eight, I moved in with my dad and his parents, 20 or so minutes from where my mom lives, and she lives. We Skyped all the time, I visited every weekend, we talked on the Xbox and played games. Everything was good. But being in a new school for highschool, I definitely had nobody, and I was alone there. I still am, I hate it there. (I'm in grade 11 right now.) But she was all I had, I honestly used to cry at nights because I hate this dumb school and the people there. But anyways, some guy started talking to me on Facebook August of 2012, and in December of that year we started dating, and we have been since. I began to spend my weekends with him at my mom's, as he lives 20 or so minutes away as well, so I only get to see him on weekends. I spent less time with my best friend, but we talked constantly, and she claimed to not have a problem with it. She actually encouraged me to spend my time with him because I could spend time with her whenever I wanted to.. which isn't true, it's no different than my boyfriend. But yeah. We still spent time together, I brought her hiking with me for my birthday, we went to the movies together, we did stuff. 
Now, at the end of May to the beginning of June, she suddenly started ignoring me. She wouldn't message me back on Facebook, she wouldn't answer my texts. This was frustrating, like, I would have at least liked to know why she wasn't able to respond for some reason. My birthday is in June, and I texted her telling her that if she was going to ignore me like this, then she wasn't welcome to come hiking for my birthday. She still didn't respond. But a few days later I simply texted her "Hey." and she responded. "Hi." I demanded to know what her problem was, and she said there was no problem, that she was just really sick and said she hadn't been talking to anybody for those couple weeks. I decided to believe her, you know, I should be able to. I know she was sick, and put on antibiotics, she was truthful about that.
Well, we talked and talked, and we planned to go horseback riding that weekend, the weekend prior to our hiking. My boyfriend, me, and her had a lovely time horseback riding. But that is the last time I actually saw her. We no longer talk.
Here we are at the actual issue! My birthday passed, the hiking weekend was growing closer. Finally the day came to pick her up for the weekend. (I have thought it was June 26th, but that was the Thursday, and I don't recall us planning to have a three day weekend. But whatever.) I woke up that morning and we immediately began texting, she suddenly said that she probably wasn't going to be able to go hiking because her half-brother was in a car accident and her parents wanted her to go see him. (That's two hours away.) She said she was going to come anyways, and told me she was going to be there when my dad and I got there to pick her up, I believed her. Then, an hour before my dad and I are to leave to get her, she begins to send me normal text messages instead of imessages. (Unusual, unless she wasn't home.) When I questioned that, she told me that her cat unplugged the internet cord and she hasn't plugged it back in yet. Again, I believed her. But then she stopped responding to my texts. I figured, and was fairly certain that she was lying about something, and she wasn't going to be there when my dad and I got there. SURE ENOUGH! She wasn't there. Straight up lied to me.
That is the last I talked to her, she has been ignoring every text I sent her since that day. That made me very angry. "Some best friend you are." I sent her that, nothing I said she replied to. Honestly? At least be mature enough to tell me WHY you are ignoring me, seriously. It's really pathetic. Ohhh ho ho, I thought I was angry then? Welp. After a month of her constantly ignoring me, I went to our mutual friend (the one she would constantly ditch me for and not admit it). I texted her, wondering what was going on. Turns out, my best friend's brother was in no kind of car accident. WOW. Also, she wouldn't talk to me when she was sick that whole couple weeks, but she had talked to this mutual friend. Double wow! I asked the mutual friend to look into it, but she had no success, I finally just told her to tell my best friend that I was done trying, this was pathetic. Guess what my best friend apparently had to say to that? "Ok." That was the last time I bothered trying to communicate with her.
It's funny, because at our annual fall fair, I happened to be standing behind her and said mutual friend. She had the nerve to turn around, give me a a somewhat snotty look, and say "Hi." The turn around. All I said to that was "I don't want to talk to you."
Honestly, you have to be a really pathetic person to suddenly drop your best friend like a rock after twelve years of friendship.. and with no reason?! UGH. It is so frustrating, and angers me to no end. It's just me, my boyfriend, and my animals now. I'm all alone. But I honestly just don't even care anymore. I'm sorry to say, but I'm glad I chose to put more effort into spending time with my boyfriend instead of her, because she was clearly not worth it, nobody who is going to do that is.

Sorry, it's so long, and a ridiculous story. But I was just reading about something similar to this, and I felt the need to rant. If you read through all of this, that's kind that you took the time to do so, and I'm sorry if it felt like a waste of your time.


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## gotchea (May 4, 2013)

I kind of was in a similar situation, but I was the "best friend" that was too busy. The girl I was friends with always had a good time with me for years! We were together 24/7. Then she hit kind of a depressing time. She would tell me she wanted to be alone then would cry that I abandoned her. She also became super insecure about her body which was annoying to constantly hear about. I just kind of stopped talking to her. She would always txted me and I didn't mean to ignore her, I just did I guess. Things were just off. Sometimes you can't force a friendship. Who knows why things stop working out. She is wrong for lying to you, but to be honest I sometimes lied to my friend because I didn't want a guilt trip about not spending time with her. But her missing your bday is selfish. After problems with her I would just txt a few days later a simple "hey." She would call me a bad friend an whatever. I just wanted to talk to her, without it being a big problem or drama or going back to problems. It was kind of like having a girlfriend and I didn't want that kind of relationship. Y'all are probably better off going your separate ways. It hurts when things don't work out.  I'm not sure if my ramble hurts or helps. Your post just reminded me of my own business. If I could tell my friend one thing I would just say "I miss when we had fun together. I'm sorry things got so complicated."


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## Fraido (Oct 1, 2014)

It's just that it was completely uncalled for, she honest to God just dropped me like a rock. It's bothersome, and I would at least like to know why, you know? I know for a fact she wasn't ever to busy. She never made me feel bad about spending more time with my boyfriend than her, occasionally she would mention that we needed to have more good times together, I would agree. But it's hard, having to choose. I loved them both (I say loved because I can no longer say this about my "best friend", I certainly still love my boyfriend), but I wanted to spend a lot of my time with my boyfriend, it's a different kind of love. One that makes me feel super happy and warm inside. I can honestly admit that I took my best friend for granted, I always thought she would be there when I needed her, she was my best friend after all. And I know you shouldn't take anything for granted, but I'm really pretty screwed up in the head, I have some problems, I was more worried about losing my boyfriend than I was about losing her. I wasn't spending much time with her, but I certainly wasn't neglecting her, we never argued and we always had a perfectly enjoyable time texting It also wouldn't make sense for her to just up and decide after a whole year and a half that she's just had enough. I feel like a true friend, and someone who wanted the friendship, would express their issues to the other in an effort to fix said issue.
I'm sure you never would have lied about something like that, though. 
Your rambling gives me more to ramble about, and I quite enjoy rambling on about this. The only other person I've ranted to is my boyfriend, and kind of to my aunt.


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## kksrats (Jul 25, 2014)

Women are fickle but also empathetic, it makes for a bad combination. They don't really want to hang out but they also don't want to just straight up tell you that because they don't want to hurt your feelings. I haven't had any "girlfriends" since middle school and I don't regret it one little bit. I think it has probably made those moments where I do have to hang out with women (coworkers, fellow students, etc.) more strained and awkward and I'm probably not much fun to be around, but in the end it just doesn't really matter. As long as I can maintain working relationships with the people I interact with daily, going out for martinis with "the girls" just isn't top priority. Not sure how old you are, but it sounds like you're still in that super dramatic teen stage where everything just sucks. Just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel so to speak lol.


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## Fraido (Oct 1, 2014)

I'm in grade eleven, lol. I'm 16. My life isn't even that dramatic, because of the simple fact that I have no friends. I don't get along well with people, so I don't make friends easily, and I prefer to be alone. Or with my boyfriend, I could spend every day with him. 
People just suck, *sigh*. It just REALLY ticks me off that she just dropped me like that, and won't even be mature enough to at least tell me why.
It really doesn't make sense that we had a great time together, then suddenly less than a week later she decides I am nothing.


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## Fraido (Oct 1, 2014)

I might as well update this, I guess. 
I decided to text her, asking her if she felt like giving me an explanation yet. This was, mmm, end of January. By some God-given miracle, she responded! PRAISE THE LORD.
She gave me some pretty sad excuses, too ashamed to talk to me because she had dropped out of school, and friends had apparently started to cut her off. So basically, she tried to cut me off before I cut her off.
That is incredibly frustrating, I was her BEST FRIEND. Real friends don't bugger off when times get tough, real friends help their friends through the issues they are facing. God, and I most certainly gave her a similar speech. 
She told me all abou how I had every right to hate her, but through all this crap, I decided to forgive her, I decided to give her another chance. I can't lie, of course I wanted my one and only best friend back. She hurt me, but I figured we had cleared everything up, so things would be okay. 
We talked constantly, and would FaceTime. The following weekend, we saw each other for a few minutes at Subway, the next day we spent practically the whole day together. The three of us (my boyfriend, her and I) went to the mall, went back to my place and had some lunch, then she bought us tickets and we went to see the 3rd Hobbit Movie. So we had a great weekend, in my opinion. It was vert enjoyable, it was like we didn't not talk for six months. 
We talked a little bit after the weekend, but guuueesss what, by Wednesday she was ignoring me again. HA, figures. 
After a few days of being ignored, I called her house. Her mom answered, I asked for her, and after a few minutes of silence (she apparently went to get her), she tells me she's sleeping. I knew from a mutual friend that she was totally not sleeping, but whatever. 
I'm officially done. Super frustrating, we got through a week of being perfectly fine again, then it's back to this crap. It's clearly not worth it, it is so very clear.
So yeeaahh, that's how all this ended up.


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## Wieju (Jan 25, 2015)

Let me tell you from experience that the people you meet/are friends with during your teens seldom end up staying with you until your adult live. That is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm now in my late 20s and I am nowhere near the person I was with 16. You will grow up and you will change and realise what you are really all about and that usually means losing friends because you just don't fit together any longer. Although that always hurts it does not mean that it's the end of the world.
School feels like forever when you are in it but it really is just a tiny part of your life. 
Concentrate on what you have (your boyfriend, your pets) instead of what you lost. She clearly is not worth it.


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## Cinn (Mar 4, 2015)

IMO, it's better to just stop kidding yourself she's going to change. She's obviously not. This thing happened to one of my best (I guess you could say, same problem as you, anti-social, only have 2 friends ) friends earlier this month. I guess it was kind of related, as what happened was they were best friends for several years and when we started school in August, everything changed. Her best friend had suddenly become popular and was hanging out with the "queen bee". This "queen bee" is not only nasty, she she drops friendships before you can say "friend". So anywho, my best friend's then best friend (okay, lets call her &) starts spending every waking moment with the "queen bee" (lets call her @). Every weekend, every time in between periods, everything they did together. So, long story short, & gets angry at my best friend because I'm spending too much time with her and they have a 3 week argument via texting. She complains about me stending too much time with my bf because she doesn't have the decency to realize how much she is hurting my bf. My best friend then told &, "I'll give you one week to chose who you want to be friends with, me or @. If you choose @, I won't be your friend anymore because @ is constantly mean to me." So, & chose @, and my bf is no longer friends with &.

So, anywho, if I haven't bored you, I say you should cut the crap and drop her just like she did to you. It's not worth it.


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## Medilia (Mar 18, 2015)

I lost one of my best and closest friends after 14 years without explanation. I had been living away for a few years but we still talked via Facebook and then one day she was no longer my facebook friend. I tried to re-add her and she never accepts.

On her 21st I sent her a birthday message and she responded happily and said she really wanted to catch up next time I went to Sydney. Never heard from her again and got now message on my 21st so I got the idea.


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## ponderosa (Oct 13, 2014)

Trying to maintain friendships just royally sucks sometimes when they start acting mean or flaky and bizarre out of nowhere. I'm so sorry this happened to you. 

I think that this former friend of yours is never going to give you a straight answer about her behavior, just one string of lies and pathetic excuses after another. If you no longer try to contact her, it will save a lot of frustration in the future, because she has proven that she is no longer honest or reliable. You're right, it's not worth it.


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## Fraido (Oct 1, 2014)

Wieju- I'd been friends with her all my life, lol. Since my first day of JK! 
It's funny, aside from the fact that she decided to be a horrible person and drop me like a rock, nothing had really changed. Talking to her felt like it always had, hanging out with her was like it always was. *sigh* Hopefully my boyfriend sticks, lol. I'll definitely just become a crazy animal lady.

Cinn- Not boring, a little hard to follow because of your choice of symbols, though. Lol, but I think I got it.
Anywho, she's already dropped me for a second time, I gave up a week after it happened. It's just so pointless. I don't need that crap.

Medilia- I just don't get some people! 

Ponderosa- It sure does, as I just said, I really don't get some poeple, gosh.


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