# How to ask my brother not to bring the dogs



## Clarkbar (Oct 28, 2020)

My brother and his bf are coming to visit for a long weekend, and we don't want them to bring the dogs.
The dogs are their kids. Like, when they decided adopting was too expensive they got a puppy.

It's complicated because we let them bring their first dog once, and said he was welcome to come back. He's the size of a cat, old and calm, and is very well trained. We didn't really want him to come, but we knew it was important to them.

They now also have a puppy, about a year and a half, and he's pretty big and energetic.
The guest room has wooden furniture and a wooden floor. It became an office during Covid, so now it has computer equipment and wires. They say he's a good boy and won't chew, but he's still a puppy. We also have newish tile/laminate floors that my mom put in herself that she wants to keep nice.

The last time they visited (pre Covid) Andy stayed home with the dogs because he had to work, and the puppy was still young and they couldn't find anyone to watch them. We like Andy, and want him to visit too instead of always staying home to dogsit.

They have moved and now have a friend next door who could watch the dogs; he owns the puppy's sister and they play together.

The dogs come along when they visit Andy's family, but his parents have a dog too. We have a cat and two rats, so we can't use a no animals in the house excuse. The cat+dog interaction isn't a problem because Andy's allergic to cats so she stays in the basement when they visit.

When we arranged the visit, they just assumed the dogs were coming, and we don't know how to tell them we don't want them to bring their 'kids' without hurting their feelings or making them upset.

When my ratties had babies, there were too many animals and it gave us an allergy problems (annoying but not severe) until I was back down to 2 rats. Adding two dogs for the weekend could possibly give her allergy trouble again. Would this be an acceptable (to them) reason to suggest the dogs stay with the neighbor when they visit?


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## MinkShadow (Mar 5, 2021)

That's hard.... As a dog parent, my dog is my baby and I don't like to trust her with anyone or leave her alone, so I understand them wanting to bring their dog. They are part of the family... But if you don't want the dog to come, try explaining to them with clear reasons why you would like them not to bring the dog. The reasons I can find in your post are:


worried he might chew wires
want to keep new tiles nice
possible allergies

The one they'd be most likely to listen to would be the allergies one.


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## Clarkbar (Oct 28, 2020)

want to be able to work this out.
I would hate it if we never saw Andy again because he stays home with the dogs when Jonathan comes to visit. And he's too polite to say that was the reason, he would just pretend he had to work.
Or, they won't want to stay with us without the dogs, and they'll visit for a few hours on the way to see Andy's parents.
I know, I shouldn't worry about things that haven't happened yet.


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## Clarkbar (Oct 28, 2020)

Update: they visited last week, with the dogs, and it all went well. 
Grandma was also visiting, so she got the guest room, with the office and computer cords, and the guys stayed in Jonny's childhood bedroom. The dog, Moses, is a labradoodle, so no allergies. He's super well behaved, we just have to hide the socks so he doesn't eat them lol. We told the guys that the dogs are welcome to come back anytime.


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## CorbinDallasMyMan (Feb 24, 2017)

I'm so glad you got to see your brother _and _Andy while avoiding drama!


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