# Dating and Rats.



## Millie & Daisy (Mar 7, 2015)

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and let me know your experiences. I'm 19 and have recently stepped into the dating scene. Okay, I haven't "stepped" in yet. I've just started looking to meet people and maybe start something via a dating site. I know I seem super young to be doing a site like that, but I'm not very outgoing and didn't have much of a dating life in High School. 

I am quiet and my HS education was completely online and self-paced, so I didn't get to meet anyone at "school" except for the couple of gatherings we had a year. I still had a social life because I was involved in church activities and participated in events for homeschool kids. Still, I didn't date. If you don't count going to prom, I literally went on one date. That's it. I'm not upset about it by any means; I'm quite content with it and now I feel I'm old enough to start meeting and going out with people. That being said, I imagine that rats would be a major turn-off for some people. My Mom tells me every time I get a new message, "DON'T TELL THEM YOU HAVE RATS." LOL!

How did you go about letting your special someone know that you had/have rats? Do you just sit down on the first date and say, "Just to get it out of the way, I have rats," or did you wait a little while? If you're in one of those rare relationships in which your partner also has rats; I commend you and must ask, WHERE DID YOU MEET?


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## FallDeere (Sep 29, 2011)

I did dating sites for about a year (I was a year older than you at the time lol). At first, I was self conscious about my rats and didn't mention them on my profile. I did casually bring them up before I met the guys in real life, though. Like "Do you like animals? Yeah? I have rats!" Later, I mentioned them on one of my dating profiles, because I realized they were such an important part of my life, I really needed to. I never got a bad reaction from a guy. One really wanted to hold my rats, but my rats didn't like him, lol. Shoulda taken that as a sign. 

Honestly, don't make having rats such a big deal. It's not something to "get out of the way." Mention them as you would a dog or cat or fish. If a guy doesn't like that, it's their problem. Rats are just pets like any other animal.

I did make having snakes a deal breaker for me, though lol. The first guy I met REALLY wanted snakes and I told him, I'm not marrying you if you have a snake. XD Don't get me wrong, I _love _snakes, but I can't live in the same house with an animal that eats my favorite pet.  For that reason, when speaking of animals, I always asked if the guy had or wanted a snake. Only one did. The rest were afraid of or didn't like snakes.

I'm not dating or on any dating sites any more because my social anxiety/depression got a lot worse due to that. Plus, my rats are all the relationships I can handle.  And I hate people... so yeah, no more dating for me.


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## Rat Daddy (Sep 25, 2011)

I think square number one would be to just let a guy know that you would be an interesting and fun person to spend a lunch or dinner with. If you like each other then you can talk about yourself in detail and let him do the same... Basically make a friend and see how it goes from there.

I dated several girls that told me right up front that they would never marry me, nor would I have married them, but we became great friends and had lots of fun, never the less and wound up attending each other's weddings.

I had a friend that would always bring her two kids on first dates so the guy knew what he was getting into... an infant and a toddler was about the worst way to screw up a first date I could ever imagine. She wanted a guy who liked kids... I'm thinking he wanted a good meal and perhaps some dancing and light conversation... I'm pretty sure at some point in the conversation the kids should have been brought up, but seriously... it's only a date. And there's no reason you can't have fun with someone who doesn't like rats. I have friends who don't like rats, doesn't bother me in the least. Just remember, not every date has to go somewhere, just make a friend and see how it goes from there... I don't think there's any reason you should hide your rats either, but there will be plenty of time to find reasons you won't be compatible as you go. Just have some fun and let nature take it's course.

Best luck


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## PaigeRose (Apr 12, 2013)

Both my girlfriend and I are animal lovers, its one of the things that brought us together in the first place. We were hanging in her room one day and I came across some cute pictures of rats on craigslist and I said "look how cute! man I wish we could have rats..." and she had never considered them as a pet for herself, however she did love animals and I promised they were like little dogs, not like her childhood hamsters or guinea pigs. We researched together and made the decision together and next thing you know, we were both excited to bring our girls home. 

I agree with making it on par with a cat or dog. "Do you have any pets?" is one of the first things I ask people upon meeting them. Just as a conversational thing. Animals are such a huge part of my life and I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't consider them a huge part of theirs.


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## Smilebud (Jul 31, 2012)

I dint have rats when I met Boyfriend, and he wasn't fond of them. He still has some misconceptions, but he loves me for me, not what pets I have. We lived together from day one (homeless shelter), so I was just sorta like "when we get on our feet, I'm getting rats." If he objects, too bad. No one who hates rats is your soulmate, so don't waste time on them. 

He sorta likes them now, love Kennedy (he got to name him) and the girls. He doesn't like the big boys and Norman because, I quote, "they don't like me". I tried explaining that the big boys were more skittish because he spoils Ken and always works, so they don't get attention from him but Eh. We're working on it. 

Okay, got sidetracked. Don't stress about it. The guy for you won't care, just bring it up when you talk about your lives, and pets and family and things. I met my ex online, he didn't care. This one guy I was "with" would always take DJ out and put him on my bed, feed him treats and snuggle him when he came over. Never talked about it before hand, we were just at my place and he saw him. Another guy couldn't care either way, but he liked me so he was nice to the rats. Don't stress, the outcome isn't important. Just enjoy yourself.


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## robenbobben (May 30, 2014)

My ex HATED rats. She had all of the misconceptions lodged in her brain and no amount of convincing would sway her. That should have been a sign haha.

Once I had her over at my apartment for the weekend and 2 of my girls at the time escaped their cage that night. It was right around easter too so when I woke up in the morning they had eaten all the candy and fallen asleep on the couch lol. I had to round them up quickly and quietly because she would have flipped if she had woken up to loose rats. 

Anyways, I agree with what was said before. Some people just wont like them. Just tell them like you'd tell them any other fact about yourself and go from there.


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## AdequateRat (Mar 12, 2015)

I don't know where to start!

I have a mischief of 10 rats.

I was in the online dating realm for a while, I mentioned in said profile I had rats. I didn't specify how many, though. 

I now have been in a relationship for a little over a month (that I started speaking with originally online. We spoke for a few months before meeting) and he's the sweetest guy ever... he even bought me my last two babies. 

You just need to find that special someone.
Jason is so laid back and he loves my rats. Not to the extent I do, obviously.  

I honestly just think being open and honest about it is the key.
You have No Reason to hide your pet choice.

I hope you find someone as awesome as you are! ^_^


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## Amph (Apr 14, 2015)

I have only dated one person so far in life for similar reasons as yourself so I can't say I have that much experience to give you advice. I can say however the one person I dated only lasted 3 months although I was looking for a longer term relationship. The reason why was because I had got so caught up with being single that I wasn't sure anymore if I liked her or just liked having someone. To me that is a important difference that you should be aware of when putting yourself out there or you could end up in a lonelier place even though you have a relationship.

Having learned my lesson I realized you have to just be yourself and be honest about what you want. Now I will wait for the right person and not rush into something. If someone would write you off for having a pet rat then I doubt they would be compatible with you anyway. On the other hand don't be like OH GOSH I JUST LOVE RATS SO MUCH just to test them out. You should just be yourself and treat them like any other person. If you talk about rats all the time then be like that, if you enjoy rats privately then act that way. Any cover up will fade in time so it's better to know from the start right? I just don't believe in relationship red lines negotiation, compromise, respect and enabling your partner is part of loving someone to me.

I can honestly say I have only ever known one person who refused to like my rats and that was my sister. Everyone else either embraced them or after spending a little time near them loved them. It really shouldn't be an issue to someone who cares about you, particularly because they aren't like dogs for example that roam free and interact with everyone.


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## ahrat (Aug 12, 2013)

I love my ratty boys!! I met my current partner on a dating site, and it was stated on my profile that I have 4 rats and a rabbit! He loves them all.


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## BigEasy (Jun 28, 2015)

I always find confidence in yourself is the most important thing in a new relationship. When you mention having rats, don't make it sound like it's an inconvenience or something weird. Make it weird that he doesn't have pet rats. I find the way you share the information is more important than the information itself. "Oh you like animals? You'll love my pet rats then! Take the best parts of having a dog and cat and combine them into a more compact more intelligent creature!" 

Just my take on it


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## NaughtyFaerie (Jun 15, 2015)

BigEasy said:


> I always find confidence in yourself is the most important thing in a new relationship. When you mention having rats, don't make it sound like it's an inconvenience or something weird. Make it weird that he doesn't have pet rats. I find the way you share the information is more important than the information itself. "Oh you like animals? You'll love my pet rats then! Take the best parts of having a dog and cat and combine them into a more compact more intelligent creature!"
> 
> Just my take on it


I absolutely LOVE this! Especially the "Make it weird that he doesn't have pet rats." part! That made me instantly giggle...


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## lost_whisper (Nov 11, 2014)

My boyfriend always knew that I had lots of animals at home. When I started going out with him I told him straight that even though I liked him very much, he had to always keep in mind that no matter how much I could love him and care for him, my animals were my priority IN LIFE because they need me, and that no human has the right to tell me anything bad about them or make me get rid of them, ever. I am lucky enough that he loves animals almost as much as I do, so he never bothered me about them or anything like that. That was almost 6 years ago now and we love each other to death, but if he mysteriously changed his mind about my little non-humans I would still, with great pain and sadness, dispose him in the garbage 

If you are an animal or even just a rat lover I'm pretty sure that you couldn't have anything too serious with somebody that doesn't share that love with you or at least *respects *it enough to not say negative comments. I'm not saying that you CAN'T go out or have fun with someone like this, but in the long run this could potentially ruin a relationship, and if it doesn't, it wouldn't seem like a healthy relationship. I can't imagine a scenario in which your significant other asks you to quit a certain activity or interest, let's say singing, drawing or dancing or even friends, without seeming like an abusive behaviour. The same applies with your animals, and mostly because animals are not things that only you love, but they love you and need you too! 

If I were you, I would bring up the topic as soon as you realise how much you like the other person, but long before you get too attached. As some people say: There are plenty of fish in the sea!


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## Kuildeous (Dec 26, 2014)

BigEasy said:


> Make it weird that he doesn't have pet rats.


I'm not sure if that's a joke statement, but I wouldn't condone this. People have different experiences, and the experience of owning a rat is pretty uncommon. I've gone 42 years without owning a single rat. If someone in those decades tried to make it sound like it's weird that I never even considered rats (or chinchillas or iguanas or spider monkeys or tarantulas or whatever), then I'd find that off-putting. I'd probably even start labeling that person as crazy cat lady with the appropriate animal inserted.

Really, I've found that people have been fascinated by my rat ownership. I have a couple of coworkers who love to hear my girls' hijinks. My rats even came up in conversation with my vice-president, who also found it fascinating. I showed her some videos of my girls trying to wrestle food out of a toilet paper roll. Although, it's worth noting that it's mostly women who are fascinated by my rats (and women who are disgusted but oh well). I seem to get mostly disinterested shrugs from guys.

But owning a rat is a helluva conversation piece. If a guy wigs out at rats, then he probably isn't for you…at least not in the long run. Anyone who doesn't wig out should be tolerable enough for dating purposes. If you start to get serious with someone, then obviously you need to have the "talk." You probably want to avoid going on and on about your rats because then that makes you sound like a crazy rat lady. Don't let your enthusiasm sound like an unhealthy obsession.


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## Mojojuju (Nov 15, 2014)

Yeah, your mom is overreacting. Nobody is going to discount you because you own rats. They probably are much more concerned about who you are as a person, and probably (real talk) how you look and your sense of humor, religious preference, etc. 

Put it in your online profile, why not? Most people won't think it is all that weird, in my experience. Liking cute mammals as pets is really not the strangest thing people are into as hobbies or even pets go. Far from it!


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## EmS (Feb 10, 2015)

Personally, I don't think it should be a huge deal. What if you had cats instead? Would you be stressed out about potentially meeting/dating a 'dog person'? If a guy can't deal with the pets that you love, keep looking!


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