# Blanch's last night with me, has anyone ever felt like this?



## tori_m (Mar 5, 2013)

Hi everyone,
My first pair, Ruby and Blanch, are 1.5yrs old.
Blanch has been growing two mammary tumors since April. The vet advised against removing them as she said they will just grow right back, so I decided to just keep an eye on her until the end.

They have grown enormous, one is dragging on the ground and turning pink/red. I worry about it cutting or catching on something.

She is still active, eating and drinking, but I fear she really doesn't have much longer. At the rate they are growing, I would guess a month at most.

So I made an appointment for tomorrow at 3:30pm. I would rather her go while she's feeling good, rather than let her get to the point where she starts to suffer.... but every once in awhile my heart makes my mind think I've made the wrong choice, and I should let her live awhile longer.

I'm wondering if anyone has ever struggled with this decision, as I am feeling lost.


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## tori_m (Mar 5, 2013)

And of course.....the regrets roll in. "Have I spent enough time with her?" "Did I let her out of her cage enough?"


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

With just about every pet I own the thought of eventual euthanasia panics and frightens me. Do they know that I love them? Should I have punished them less and let them get away with more? Did I give them enough attention, toys, treats, etc? Could I have prevented this earlier on? Every time something potentially life threatening comes up I get like this and it's a horrid feeling. 

You have to remember the good stuff and the moments you've already shared. With every pet, your choice to adopt was a good one and they love you for it. You did what you should and what you could. You can make her last day super special and thank her for the time she gave you. 

As to extending her life, you could see if the vet would remove it and spay her or if she could remove most of it and you use turkey tail mushroom and a modified diet to buy her time, preventing growth. You could make her a sweater to prevent it from dragging and opening. She's right at the odd point of either being young or old, so any decision depends on her attitude towards life. Don't be afraid to broach the topic with your vet either. 

I removed a tumor and spayed my three year old female about four to six months ago and she seems to be going strong, I based my decision on her quality of life and the age she acted (which wasn't old). So far the months were worth the cost but if any came back id let them grow and let her go later since she's elderly. 


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## tori_m (Mar 5, 2013)

Thank you for your advice and response. If my vet thinks she has a chance at a life without suffering, we will go that route, but I'm just not sure.
BTW, I tried the sweaters, but it's way too hot this time of year and she just wouldn't keep it on.


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

They very rarely do unfortunately. I hope whatever decision you make you don't feel bad about. It's the hardest part of owning pets, but I see it as the trade off for all that love. 


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## Ilovemybabyrats (Feb 5, 2013)

This reminds me of what I recently went through with Cookie. She had two tumors, and I was told best to leave them, be. I did for a bit and they kept growing. I knew the choices were surgery or euthanasia, so I got a second opinion. She had the surgery and is fine. i will keep her on turkey tail mushrooms to be safe, but she is doing well. She's about the same age. Don't make yourself feel even worse if you do decide euthanasia is the right choice, but perhaps surgery may be worth it after all.


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## tori_m (Mar 5, 2013)

Thank you. Only a few hours away now and I have been crying all morning.


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## evander (Jun 30, 2013)

Tori - I am going through the exact same thing right now. I have a hairless girl who just turned 1 in May - Ruby has two which have suddenly grown very, very rapidly. She is acting completely fine - eating, drinking - even running on her wheel. But I am just afraid an emergency is going to happen and she will suffer.

We are strongly considering putting Ruby down Friday - I have been crying off and on for a week just thinking about it.

But I know it is the right thing to do


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## Gannyaan (Dec 7, 2012)

I am in the same position... My girl is about 3 years old and her tumors are dragging now.... She's had them about 5 or 6 months? The vets I saw all advised against having them removed... I was quoted $400-800 for their removal. 

She's walking still, but unable to run anymore... She still Bruxes an boggles, still LOVES her treats and food, still socialises with the other girls ... It's so hard for me to watch old videos of her and just to see her like this.... I always wonder if she's suffering... I think when she is ready, she will let me know. 

What I've been thinking recently is that I will let her decide by her signals (not eating , isolating herself, Etc) or if she starts having some kind of complications, that will be the time.

I don't know if this is the right decision, and I wonder sometimes if I should just let her go while she is happy. 


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## evander (Jun 30, 2013)

I am terrified Ruby's tumor will get stuck on something and burst or something like that from the dragging. Crazy girl is still running on her wheel which scares me - but I want her to be happy too.

I just made her appt for Friday afternoon.


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## tori_m (Mar 5, 2013)

I too was going to wait until she showed true signs of it bothering her, but in the end I decided that I didn't want her to get to that point. Once they start dragging there is fear they could catch on something, rub raw or rupture. 

When I took her in to the vet, she said where it was large there was also a chance of it rupturing her organs. She said she would have a normal, good 2 weeks to a month if we were lucky. It was very hard but I just thought what if I wake up one morning and it has opened, then her last moments will be fear and pain. Or what if I wake up and she is very sick, not moving, etc. I just never wanted her to get to that point.

It is a very, VERY hard decision and I am so sorry you both have to go through it as well. But in the end, if you feel they only have a few weeks left, and it's the only option for you (removing them is not always an option) then you have to be strong and do what is best for them.

Of course I struggled a little bit with "should I have waited" but my vet was very reassuring that it was the right thing to do. She was able to die with dignity.

My vet let me stay with her the entire time. I asked for her to be put to sleep first so she wouldn't feel the pain from the needle, so she gave her gas. It did not take long and it was the saddest moment of my life to date... but she is at peace now and her sisters and I will remember her always.


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## tori_m (Mar 5, 2013)

Perhaps if you make the appointment to take them in to be PTS, your vet can better advise you of how much "good" time they have left. That will help with the decision.

Also, Blanch had started licking hers and grooming it it seemed, and my vet told me that that is a sure sign that it was indeed bothering her.


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## evander (Jun 30, 2013)

I have been spoiling her all morning on the couch. Here she is popping in and out of the tissue box.

I have been finding small scratches on her tumors so I know they are rubbing on things.

I know it is time but darn these tears just keep coming!!









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## tori_m (Mar 5, 2013)

Oh I know how you feel  It's so very hard.

We have to remind ourselves that we gave them a great life, and who knows where they would be had we not met them. Take some comfort in that. 

I am still sad but I feel better than I did, so it does get easier. It helps to really focus on your other ratties, too! I rearranged their home and got some new accessories for them, and spent a lot more time than usual with them since it happened.


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## tori_m (Mar 5, 2013)

the scratches you are finding could be because she herself is scratching at it, because it's uncomfortable.


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## evander (Jun 30, 2013)

tori_m said:


> the scratches you are finding could be because she herself is scratching at it, because it's uncomfortable.


True which still tells me it is her time.

I have had rats for 10 years it never ever gets easier - ever.

And no many how many times I vow to stay off craigslist and get new rats only from my very very trusted breeder- there is always a face or a story that compels me to rescue him/her.


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## diachuk (Jul 21, 2014)

I'm sorry for you, but remember all of the good memories, and at least you'll know she lived a good life, and that it was her time to cross the rainbow bridge. Best wishes to you and your other ratties! xoxo Diana 


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## Gannyaan (Dec 7, 2012)

I don't want scarlet's last moments to be her in fear....  I'm wondering now if I should just go ahead with it...... I just don't know how to handle it very well, but I never want to be selfish to scarlet... I've been feeling more and more that it's time. I think this will just kill paisley, since paisley and Scarlett are best friends...  

I hope you guys are doing okay.... I really believe they are in rattie heaven


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## evander (Jun 30, 2013)

Gannyaan said:


> I don't want scarlet's last moments to be her in fear....  I'm wondering now if I should just go ahead with it...... I just don't know how to handle it very well, but I never want to be selfish to scarlet... I've been feeling more and more that it's time. I think this will just kill paisley, since paisley and Scarlett are best friends...
> 
> I hope you guys are doing okay.... I really believe they are in rattie heaven
> 
> ...


 believe there is too and we wil a be reunited someday!!

Even once I put Ruby ts I have 6 other girls so no one will be lonely - I have 6 boys an 7 girls of varying ages because I never wante to have a lone broken hearted rat.

Good luck to you!!


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## Gannyaan (Dec 7, 2012)

evander said:


> believe there is too and we wil a be reunited someday!!
> 
> Even once I put Ruby ts I have 6 other girls so no one will be lonely - I have 6 boys an 7 girls of varying ages because I never wante to have a lone broken hearted rat.
> 
> Good luck to you!!


Thanks evander.,.  paisley has chip and snow also to keep her company, but it was just her and scarlet for more than a year... They're very attached... I think I may have to go ahead with it.............I'm still thinking.. I hope I can deal with this... We also have to put my family dog down, who was very dear to me...  


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## evander (Jun 30, 2013)

In some ways it is awful to have the choice and have to make it and live w the after effects - but after watching family members etc suffer w cancer or just old age I sometimes wish the same choice could be made for our human loved ones.

Good luck to you - I know Ruby is ready - even if am not. I couldn't stand it if she suffered needlessly because I was selfish.


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## tori_m (Mar 5, 2013)

wishing you all strength with these difficult decisions.

It has been one week since I put my beloved Blanch down. I picked up her carrier, which I had forgotten because I was so upset, from the vet today. I put it in the car and it hit me again that I was bringing it home empty, without her. I cried the whole way home.
But, it is easier than it was. I am accepting it.

Her litter mates seem to be doing fine, I am paying extra special attention to Ruby, her cagemate that I brought her home with. 

I don't think we ever will feel like "it's time", but I really believe that the time should come before they start to suffer. They would thank you for that. and honestly, it happens so quickly. I would recommend asking for them to be put to sleep with anestetic first. I can't remember if I mentioned this before but the needle is painful, this way they are unconcious when it happens. It's very hard, but all of our ratties have lived such happy lives, right guys? That's all we can do, and give them a dignified death.

Love to you all.


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