# Still feeling guilt over PTS Mia..



## MsKimberly (Mar 17, 2015)

I still am struggling with guilty after putting my heart rat Mia to sleep. I feel it was rushed, because it was. The vet wasn't going to be in any other time and her condition was getting worse by the hour. She had a large underarm tumor and I felt a second groin tumor. She also showed all signs of having a PT. I had finally gotten enough for surgery when her condition got to the point that she couldn't hold her food, balance and was starting to bite us when she had never shown any signs of aggression before.

I just feel a lot of what ifs. What if she had gotten better? Since she was moving around that morning what if she was improving? Though I know deep down that she was miserable. It just crushes me to think what if I was wrong to rush it. I just had the biggest fear that if I didn't, she was going to die a horrible death. I made the decision when she started having accidents on herself and blood was involved. It didn't clear up with treatment like the other UTI's had with my girls. I believe she had cancer among other things I'm sure.

It's just a struggle especially since I didn't go back with her when she got put down. They informed me that it wasn't safe to be around the gas and once she was unconscious from the gas and they injected her, that it's hard for owners to watch the injection. I opted not to. I kissed her and handed her over. She loved the vet and they were so sweet about everything. I just feel like I abandoned her.

She was with me every second of every day no matter where I was for the whole 1 year, 9 months that she was alive. I just wonder if I could have prevented something or healed her somehow. I tried every method and theory known to man and nothing improved her condition..


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## JAnimal (Jul 23, 2014)

I'm really sorry for your loss. You did the right thing to put Mia to sleep.


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## cagedbirdsinging (May 28, 2012)

It's a natural emotion that you never really get over, sadly.

It's been over a year since we put our cat down due to a muscular disorder and I still get upset about it, figuring that there was surely something else to try and that we just didn't fight hard enough for him. It's completely irrational.

I'm sorry for your loss.


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## MsKimberly (Mar 17, 2015)

JAnimal, thank you =c & I know deep down I did because she was suffering.. I just read that there were meds for PT that could help and I wonder if I could have healed her enough that she could have had one last really perfect day. I didn't get to give her that last day full of her favorite foods which I regret. =/ I spoiled her as much as I could though..

cagedbirdsinging, I'm sorry for your loss as well.. That's awful & exactly how I feel. Like there has to have been something I could have done. I tried flax seed, turkey tail mushroom, every type of anti cancer food I could get my hands on and her tumors were shrinking but by the time I had the money for surgery, I realized I had ignored the signs of a PT and there wasn't a chance of "fixing" her. It was heartbreaking to say the least.


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## RavenTheRat (May 28, 2015)

I'm so sorry you lost your rattie- but memories are a beautiful thing 

I know how you feel. When my rabbit was taken to the vet appointment that resulted in a failed surgery, I was in the bathroom. She didn't make it, I never said goodbye. I hate myself for not yelling at my mom to wait.... but we never thought it would be serious, it was just a routine vet trip (we thought).

But it wasn't your fault. And your rattie loved you.


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## MousE190 (Oct 7, 2014)

I lost my little guy "Mouse". 1 month ago. he was my first rattie, just 18 months old,,,he was a rescue,,I take solace that he did not become snake food. I , had alot of what ifs,,,,if I may,,,Mouse, was not his usual self,,,for 2 days,,I took him to my vet,, he had UPR,,,and UTI,, he came home,,, bounced around the couch,,went for a nap,,he came out of his cage, curled up in my son's arms,,,, getting nuggies and chin rubs,, and was gone. I tore myself apart,,,, thinking I should have acted sooner...I, think, that , we should look back and say,,,,we gave the critters a home,,, with nuggies,,,bellly and chin rubs,,,your love,,yes rats do have a short life span..We loved them,,,,them loved us.....Sorry for your lose.....R.I.P. Mia...mabce she will meet my little "Mouse"


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## Rubi (Mar 25, 2014)

MsKimberly, know in your heart that you did indeed do what was most kind and merciful for your little Mia. With other complications such as a UTI and multiple tumors the medications that may have caused the PT symptoms to subside would likely have also exacerbated the other ailments she was suffering from by suppressing her immune system. You did not act too soon, you spared her. Take comfort knowing that on the other side of the rainbow bridge she is waiting for you to spend that perfect never ending day together.


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## Minky (Apr 4, 2013)

I'm sorry for the loss of your little friend. Try to remember that guilt is a normal part of losing a rat - just read through some of these Rainbow Bridge stories and you'll see that even the best caretakers always look back and wonder if we could have done something different. From your story it sounds like you made a compassionate and unselfish decision. It's awful when these decisions have to be rushed; I went through something similar with my heart rat Baby where I took her to the vet hoping for a cure and while I was there I sort of had to face that she wasn't going to get any better. It was a shock. 

I hope you spend some time cherishing your memories of Mia, maybe put together a scrap book or even just a few photos to remember her by. And you can always post your good memories of Mia here. She sounds like an awesome rat and I would love to hear more about her. x


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