# RIP winnie. Need support no one understands :(



## 3 ratties

Hello everyone I am very distraught tonight and no one near me understands so I'm desperately looking for support. Just anyone to care and say kind words about my little baby rat winnie.
Me and my bf had four rats. 3 are approx 3 and half months old. I love them to death. There's a lot I could say about them but this post is not about them. A couple weeks ago I got my first dumbo rat. She was 5 weeks old. She was a soft, black fluffy adorable little girl that kissed me from the beginning. The others took weeks to warm up to me like she did. 
Me and my bf had an issue a month ago to where I told him I didn't feel comfortable with him taking my rats out when I'm not there to supervise because he does not feel comfortable with them like I do. He let his kids play with them while I was at work and it really upset me. I felt violated and really angry. But I let it go. Then the same day, I was at the grocery store and he let the the rats run around their cage. He opened the door and there were climbing around. Sweetie fell off the cage ( just like a foot drop onto soft carpet) so not too big of a deal but his instinct was to "step on her" he said he was trying to stop her from getting lost in the house and that he freaked out and wasnt thinking. What was worse was he had his flipping work shoes still on. I got home from the grocery store to find my girl on the counter, bleeding from her nose and a gash like on her arm pit. She was all hunched over and puffed up and dreamy looking. I instantly balled and held her all night. Sobbing and applying neosporin to her sore. I didn't think she would make it through the night. I thought she would have internal bleeding and die within the next couple days if she even made it through the night. Well she did make it and tht was a month ago and she's made a full recovery. I was so blessed and greatful. That was the first night I had ever seen my boyfriend cry. So he did care. He felt so bad and said he would never let them out again. 
Now onto what happened to my dearest Winnie. She was a baby like I mentioned. About 6 weeks old. I just left yesterday to go visit my mom in another state for a week. I've been keeping winnie away from the others. In the smaller cage because she was about the third of the size of them and sweetie was a bit aggressive with her than just normal dominance. I put her with them on the bed a few times for like 20 mins. Carefully keeping an eye on them all. I told my boyfriend multiple times that I didn't want to put her in the big cage with them until I at least got back from my trip. My boyfriend somehow put her in with the other big rats before he took me to the airport yesterday. I didn't notice but I was also not in my right mind and probably not paying attention cuz I was nervous about my trip. He didnt put her in with them like right in front of me or even when I was in the same room because I would of noticed that. I must of been in another room. Well tonight I talked to him on the phone and I asked if he put her in their with them at all so she could get some company. (And watch her of course so she wouldn't get hurt) he was silent and was stuttering and I said whts wrong.. And he said she had died. He said he put her in with them before we left and he went to the movies and stuff with his friend that helped take me to the airport and came home like 6 hours after we had left, and she was dead in the cage, all scratched up. I was horrified!!! He never listens to me when it comes to MY pets. I know what is best I treat my pets like gold, but no, he just does what he thinks is right instead of respecting me. On the phone he was so dead voice tone about it and I was so frustrated he wasn't acting more upset about it. I am so angry at him I can't even talk to him. I don't trust him at all. I am so sad for the loss of this baby girl. She died because my boyfriend didnt listen or respect me on what I wanted. It feels so good to let this story out. It's going to take a few days for me to come to terms with the Loss of her and to come home to only three, instead of four. I don't know how I can forgive him an trust him ever again. I just had to tell this story. My family here doesn't understand how upset I am. My grandma was like " you are so upset about a mouse" 
Thank you for anyone who read this and cares. Please give wishes and prayers to little winnie that she is now resting in peace. 









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## 1a1a

That is terrible. If he were a sibling you were forced to live with then the best advice i could give would be to padlock the cages. You wouldnt be the first to resort that.

Because he is your boyfriend that is a whole extra layer of awkward. You need to be able to trust him and he Needs to respect your wishes regarding the rats. If he cant be sat down and made to understand this by you alone, maybe couples counselling?

Either way, you are not the one that cost winnie her life and the whole sorry affair does suggest there are elements of your relationship that need tweaking.

I am very sorry for your loss

RIP Winnie


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## zurfaces

I honestly cried. That poor sweet baby. ;'( 

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## zurfaces

I agree with 1a padlock the cage. Why did he put her in there?!?

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## Clifford

Oh my god, I'm so sorry. D: That's awful. If it was me in that situation, I'd be breaking up with him, but of course that's not the solution for everyone.
-hugs hugs hugs-
I'm sure that Winnie knew that she was loved. I hope you and your boyfriend can come to terms with what happened and move past it in whatever way works best for you.


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## Patientzero

oh the poor sweetie, she was beautiful  I don't know what I would do in that situation, I could never look at my OH the same if he had almost killed one of my babies and then killed one a month later out of carelessness. It seems like he doesn't care to listen to you and thinks he knows better. Hopefully this opens his eyes to being abit more responsible though, very unfortunate way though. I would agree with padlocking, I just don't think you should ever need to do that with a boyfriend, that's something needed for a small child. I'm so sorry for your loss,


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## BethTheBeth

I suppose it shows your boyfriend really did love her a lot, as he kept wanting to play with her and stuff, so he probably thought it was a good thing. Although it is a very tragic accident, it was that- an accident. You can't be too hard on your boyfriend, think how guilty he feels (even if he does not show it much). It's a sad loss, and only time will heal the pain you feel and the anger you have, but it was, as many things are in life, an accident. Your boyfriend will, at least, have learnt a harsh lesson. RIP.


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## PurpleGirl

I'm glad that Sweetie made it through her terrible ordeal, I'm so sorry that poor little Winnie wasn't so lucky, she was an absolutely beautiful little lady. It's nobody's place of course to say where you should go from here with your boyfriend but there is clearly a lack of respect/trust or whatever that makes him feel he can ignore your requests, I'm sure he felt terrible about Sweetie but that should've been the wake-up that led him not to mess with your babies ever again. Now he has and another one suffered, to a far worse degree. I'd also invest in a padlock for the cage and keep the key around your neck; it seems severe but your mischief could clearly be in danger at any point from this person. He wouldn't be the first person to think for some mad reason that he 'knows better' and have it result in disaster. I find it very deceitful that you asked him to keep Winnie apart and he made a point of going against your wish while you couldn't possibly see. Terrible stuff. So sorry again for your troubles.


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## liesel

So sad to hear this. She sounds like such a sweetheart.  Sorry for your loss. Sounds like the lack of respect your boyfriend has for you is definitely an issue. The fact that he broke your trust and it cost your baby her life is so hurtful. I think this is something you too definitely need to talk out. Rats mean a lot to their owners and even if he doesnt understand it he needs to accept it. So sorry though. RIP


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## 3 ratties

Thank you so much for your replies everyone. Has made me feel so much better. Padlock on the cage sounds good and when I get back home in a few days I will sit down and look him in the eyes and have a serious talk about not letting another thing happen to my rats. I feel a little scared to go back to my rat Sweetie. I know in my heart that she is the one that at least started the attack on winnie, not the other two. Of course I don't know for sure but the other two were just fine with winnie and I had to seperate winnie and sweetie a couple times and it was sweetie that made me feel uneasy about her being in the big cage. I know it's nature and I'm sure ill be fine. But I'm a little weirded out to cuddle and kiss her when I get home when I know she killed my baby rat vicously. Anyone else have a similar situation? 


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## Phantom

I'm sorry to hear about your baby. I had a similar situation once, except no one died or got terribly hurt. Before I got my third rat, my little neutered boy Pastoolio, my girls had been living together for over a year so it was expecting for one of them to be really dominant when I first brought my little boy home. My oldest rat Molly was and is always very submissive, but my second oldest rat, Mimi, is very dominant. When I first brought my boy home after keeping him at my boyfriend's house and quarantining him Mimi went straight to his cage after smelling him and would physically try to grab any part of his body she could and pull it through the cage bars. She was so fixated on the cage that, whenever she was out of her cage and had free roaming time, I would keep a handful of treats handy and had to really work at Pastoolio being a good thing and her not attacking him through the cage got her a treat. Even after all of that, when I first introduced the two apparently Mimi freaked Pastoolio out so much that it took me a whole week after words to she him that he has to stick up for himself. He did end up with several gashes due to her dominance which did make me mad at her a bit, but in the end I kept working with the two and putting them together constantly. One would not get a treat without the other completing the same trick and so on. Even though Mimi is still very dominant she has not laid a scratch on Pastoolio since. They actually love to cuddle with one another.


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## PurpleGirl

It can be hard for some people to act normally with a rat who has hurt another, especially if they've actually killed them. I had a super territorial female alpha rat who chomped the shoulder of a sweet young baby girl that I'd been introducing, it was a deep bite that created an infection which led to the wound puffing up with pus and had to be drained and cleaned by the vet, it was very uncomfortable for her and she took a couple of weeks to get her confidence back; I couldn't stay annoyed at the alpha though, she felt she was protecting her cage from the newbie and was simply reacting on instinct.

You just have to remember that Sweetie wasn't simply being cruel, or trying to hurt you, she was just responding to what she considered a breach of her territory, pure instinct. She is still the same rat you always loved, she was just put into a situation that made her unhappy/frightened/wary and she reacted appropriately in her own mind; it wasn't her fault that she was placed in that situation, nor was it yours. You'll quickly find that your relationship hasn't changed when she's cuddling up to you in your arms.


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## Ltukey

wow. I am so sorry. lock the cages from now on. don't apologize for it. I don't have words...I couldn't cope w/the breach of trust in a chosen mate.


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## HappyLittleRats

I'm so sorry about your little baby.  It isn't your fault so please try not to blame yourself. I can honestly say though, that if I were in your shoes, I would completely rethink your relationship with this boy.

He obviously lacks a level of respect for you, as he knows your pets are like your children. If they were human children, I highly doubt you'd tolerate someone stepping outside of your rules. If he doesn't listen to you, what does that say about his level of communication? I'm so sorry to be so blunt, especially after something so traumatic has happened to you, but perhaps a nice long talk would be a good idea in the near future, if you think he'll be able to grasp the fact that he should actually listen to you, as a relationship is a two way street and both people should listen to EACHOTHER.

Again, I'm so sorry about your little baby.


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## Limouri

Im so sorry for your lose, this is so sad to see.


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## liesel

I've never lost a rat to another but I likely would have had I not witnessed the fight firsthand and separated the girls. I know even after that it was hard for me to be happy with my attempted murderess... But i agree with purpleGirl remember that sweetie wasn't trying to hurt you. I would also suggest not putting off seeing and hugging sweetie. I know it may be tempting to hold off for a bit cause a part of u is angry but that will only make it worse. It's easier to forgive them after they cuddle u and shed some love on u.


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## monster_paws

I'm sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. My wavering s/o is the same and I don't hesitate to call him out on his irresponsibility.

We've had/have 7 rats total. 
Marbles ran away because he left the cage outside with the cage door ajar.
Another died of mysterious causes a few days after it came home with us.
He closed the bathroom door on Monkey's neck and he died a few days after from the trauma.
Peanut got half castrated by another rat that I specifically told him to keep separated. What was so hard to understand about that? I was out of town when that happened  Thank god he recovered after surgery. 
Boba ate a cigarette and died.

I actually blame myself for all of this because I feel like it's my fault that I didn't watch him closely. Sad thing is that all of this happened when I went out for the day, left town for a week, was out of the room etc. This all happened when we were in college (sort of lived together) and now that we've graduated and I've got my own place, I've confiscated the ratties and he is not allowed to be in contact with them if i'm not there watching him like a hawk. I don't know why I continually allowed this nonsense to happen, but it was probably because I thought he felt bad and would subsequently learn from his mistakes. If anything, all of this has made me think and reconsider if I want to be with someone this blatantly flippant and irresponsible. I've got three ratties who live with me now, and they're as happy as peas and live a life of luxury, but I still feel really guilty because in some way, it's my fault too.

Sorry for the long ass story. I know how you feel.


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## sunshadow

omg i was just bawling after reading your awful experience! i am so sorry! i know that if anyone i was with did that to my babies i would be so livid i wouldnt be able to speak coherently...def look into locks and make no apologies about it!


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## Jesi

Sorry for you loss. Winnie was a beaut, I'm sure you made her feel very loved for the short time she was with you and you sound like a wonderful owner. Can't even imagine how you feel 


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## Hephaestion

Really sorry to hear this. I am so black and white in my thinking that I would have his or my bags packed in the click of a finger. Ignorance, disrespect and deceit are intolerable. However, I understand that is not always so simple. People, despite good intentions, can be just plain disappointing but I guess also forgivable (after some hefty efforts to make amends). I hope after two major incidents, one leading to injury and the other to death, that your boyfriend has at least learned something from the experiences. I wish you well with your remaining rats.


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## CapnKennedy

I'm so sorry for the loss, you sound like you need a hug :C
RIP Winnie


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