# Struggling with my words.



## RatloverDan (Jul 21, 2013)

I haven't been able to work due to a disability and I find the rat forums a fantastic place to speak to fellow rat lovers. 

But I find that when I post things people take them the wrong way. 

I would only post to try and help people or ask for help. 

My rats are my life and I just feel really disheartened and don't know if I want to continue posting on the forum. 

I'm not an expert but I have personal experience to share.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive. 

Anyone else had feelings like this? 

I look at recent posts and it seems a lot of members post really frequently and others not so much. How many of us our out there? And how many countries? 


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## Isamurat (Jul 27, 2012)

I'm on a number of rat forums, both large and small and this isn't unuseual, im fact I've given up a few times and had a break. I also know it's not disimilar in other hobbies be it animals or not. The trouble is the people who come on the forums arts generally very passionate about the topic, is only natural. When you add in that we are only resulting on the written word, not expressions and tone it is easy for misunderstandings to blow out of proportion. One of my forums is a small one, we are all friends face to face yet even there people can have misunderstandings which are resolved in about 2seconds face to face but escalate on a forum. I don't think there's an easy answer but I will say you get used to it and also do tend to get better at giving people the benefit of the doubt after a while, you also learn to tone down your replies a lot to. I was a right over the top madame at first, some will say I haven't improved lol but if they'd seen me some 13 or 14 years ago when I first discovered rats on the internet and their forums they'd realise I am on my best behaviour most of the time lol


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## Ergala (Jan 23, 2014)

I have Bipolar along with some other issues including anxiety. Because of this I am find myself constantly wondering if I am posting too much when I create a new one about Pacha or if I ask a question about her behavior or about the cage we are building her. I evaluate every single thing I say or type. Just try to not over analyze and if people are offended by what you say try to step back and reread how you worded it. What I find helpful is to PM the person and apologize and explain my situation and ask for help in how I can better word it in the future so as to not offend again. Usually people are more than happy to help with that. I'm 32 but there are times that I just need a little bit of help with social awareness. Hang in there!


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## RatloverDan (Jul 21, 2013)

Thanks so much guys. 

It's great to know it's not just me. 

It's a real shame that because I'm in the UK I doubt i will ever get to meet anyone sadly.  

Thanks again. Sometimes I think breaks are good. 

<3


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## ratsaremylife (Nov 5, 2013)

I feel the same way! Like I post to much and everyone ignores me. I know it's probably not true but just bc I'm doesn't mean I'm stupid.


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## Ergala (Jan 23, 2014)

<3 No problem  I left a forum about 4 years ago. It was an etiquette forum. Believe it or not those people were some of the RUDEST people I have ever met. Absolutely mean and vile and they would send you emails saying the most horrid things. One of them sent me an email saying my newborn son was ugly and should be drowned in a barrel. This was from a regular poster on an ETIQUETTE forum!


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

There's a UK rat forum, if you wanted more local ppeople. 

I too have social anxiety; posting here was the first social thing i've done in years. It was hard to post at all and then harder to contribute. It's generally a welcoming forum, so just hit submit. Like everyone else, though, I have my posts that stir up emotions or go unreplied to and it is hard not to let those doubts take seed. I just try to keep in mine that it is essentially anonymous here and that I'm safe in that.


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## lalalauren (Jul 3, 2013)

nanashi7 said:


> There's a UK rat forum, if you wanted more local ppeople.


I'm on the UK rat forum and regard myself as a child of the Internet (spent most of my teenage years on a variety of forums) and so understand how difficult it can be to get your point across sometimes with people maybe getting the wrong impression...and I find the UK rat forum a little difficult to get on with at times. I post there to find local things, but for advice, I'm all about this forum. My breeder feels the same way about the UK rat forum, so I know it's not just me. 


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## cagedbirdsinging (May 28, 2012)

If anyone ever makes you feel unwelcome, please contact a mod or admin. We strive to maintain a friendly atmosphere!


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## Isamurat (Jul 27, 2012)

Im UK based too, and depending where you are in the country theres a great rat fancy over here. If anything the relative size difference to the US means us uk rat owners can get together more than US ones. For instance not this weekend but the one after theres a rat show in Preston, If your north of england based its well worth a trip. I'll be going along, probably end up in the kitchen though as no one else has volenteered and its about a year since i last ended up in there (my second least fave job on the day lol). There are pleatny of shows around the country and they are normally very relaxed affairs with none showing people welcome


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## RatloverDan (Jul 21, 2013)

Isamurat said:


> Im UK based too, and depending where you are in the country theres a great rat fancy over here. If anything the relative size difference to the US means us uk rat owners can get together more than US ones. For instance not this weekend but the one after theres a rat show in Preston, If your north of england based its well worth a trip. I'll be going along, probably end up in the kitchen though as no one else has volenteered and its about a year since i last ended up in there (my second least fave job on the day lol). There are pleatny of shows around the country and they are normally very relaxed affairs with none showing people welcome


Oh wow!! That sounds great. I'm in outer London near Heathrow Airport. It would be great to get out and meet other people. Do you know of any websites I could visit? 
Thanks!! 

And thanks everyone. I feel much more confident xxx


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