# My husband and animals..



## Awaiting_Abyss (Jul 24, 2012)

I've been battling with my husband for a long while over animals... He says we have too many and it overwhelms him and that I spend too much time with him so I love them more than him. He understands why we have so many, but at the same time he complains that we do have so many... Up until we got the baby rats, he never came in the critter room and that bothered me. I'd always be bringing mice out of the room to show him them and tell him about them, but he wouldn't be interested... He used to have interest in at least the gerbils and rats, but he didn't visit with them anymore, so this bothered me.

When we got the baby rats, he liked Socrates, so it made him start coming in the room and playing with the baby rats. He favored Socrates and didn't hold the others at all or very little, so I kept telling him, "Play with ___, she/he needs love too." Now, my husband does really well about playing with all of the rats.

He will hold Appa (the male Syrian Hamster) every so often, but won't touch Akka (the female Syrian). He won't mess with the gerbils anymore, but he used to care for them...

I wish he'd spark an interest in the mice since I adore them so.. but he won't. He says that he can't hold them because they always have babies, but they don't always have babies and if they got to know him, then he could touch them even when they do have babies.

Luckily he seems okay with me getting show mice.. and he finds the size difference between pet mice and show mice interesting. Maybe once I get show mice and start breeding them instead he'll have interest in mice..

He's okay with me getting another snake, because he's terrified to death of getting bitten by Lithir (western hognoses are mildly venomous and my husband is highly allergic to bee stings, so he would probably be in bad shape if bitten) that he doesn't even want to touch him anymore. He doesn't really care for snakes, but he wants one that will wrap around his arm. 

At least he loves the ferrets. We had some troubles about getting our boy from the rescue though. We had applied to adopt him before I found Neamhain on craigslist.. I decided that a 4 month old ferret from craigslist was in more need since she could go to any kind of home, so I got her. Then I managed to talk my husband into getting the rescue ferret still if we got approved, and we did. We got him yesterday... After much complaining from my husband about home visits and people coming over to our house. 

I'm just really stressed out about him not caring for animals like he used to...


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## Awaiting_Abyss (Jul 24, 2012)

Oh, and.. he's been begging me about getting a rabbit. There is a rabbit (way overpriced) at a certain pet store that he fell in love with. He keeps asking me if we can get her, but I keep telling him that we should wait and that the rabbit is overpriced and we could get one from an actual breeder for cheaper...


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## JoshDeMott2010 (Aug 25, 2007)

The thing with men is that you gotta let them do what they want... If they notice you are trying to get them to do something then chances are they won't do it. Allthough us men don't like to admit it when someone tells us to do something we decide since it wasnt our idea we wont do it. Don't smother him just show him why you like each one so much and let him decide which ones he likes and why he likes them. I think with that many animals i would be overwhelmed.


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## Awaiting_Abyss (Jul 24, 2012)

Not sure what being a "man" has to do with anything  He likes most things if I tell him to and he dislikes things if I tell him to. 

I have gotten him to hold Reeses (my favorite mouse- display picture) and he'll hold others at times, but he usually doesn't remember their names or even which one is which. 

I grew up with animals, and I always wanted lots of animals. Though when I lived with my parents I was limited. I couldn't have mice or rats and the most gerbils I had at a time was 2 breeding pairs. I wasn't allowed to have ferrets or snakes. So now that I have freedom to get what I want, I'm embracing it.
My husband grew up with little to no animals. He had ferrets when he was younger, and his grandparents had dogs, but he didn't have dogs or cats until his mom got married to his step father.


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## JoshDeMott2010 (Aug 25, 2007)

Yeah well gender doesn't matter all in all was just telling you from my perspective, experience since i am a guy.


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## PaigeRose (Apr 12, 2013)

I would tell him that if he can prove he can take care of the rabbit, he can get it. When we first got rats, my girlfriend and I cared for them the same but over the months, she became allergic to them (breaks out in big red welts when their feet touch her skin) and doesnt help me with cage cleaning, feeding, etc. Its not that she doesnt care about them but she doesnt want to break out. She still loves them and talks to them and pets them. This past summer, i think she felt kinda like your husband does, i was always fussing over the rats and she only watched. Then we were in petco and she fell in love with a guinea pig for "adoption" (someone bought her back for whatever reason). I made her wait a week so we could gather supplies (shes had guinea pigs in the past, i have not) and i said "if shes still there we will get her" and she was and now we have Mona. 

My girlfriend does all her cage cleanings and rearranging and feeding and what not. Shes not allergic to her so she can hold Mona and play with her and take care of her without being all itchy. While im not crazy about the guinea pig, im glad she makes my girlfriend happy.


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## Sylver (Sep 5, 2013)

My husband is fairly similar, but his big problem is that he simply gets very attached, and doesn't like having his heart broken when they inevitably die. He's come around to really liking the rats anyway though, I think he might be a bit more comforted since I told him we'd hopefully at least have babies from our very best buck to carry on with once he passes on. 

If he wants a bunny, let him have a bunny (or two, they are also social critters). Personally, a husband that would be OK with me having even that many animals, I'd let him have whatever he wants! A rabbit from a breeder would likely be much better, but if he feels that this particular one at this particular shop has reached out to him in particular, I'd go for it and eat the cost. Sometimes you just know which one is _yours_, and not everyone else can see that immediate connection, and if you pass it up, you may always wonder about them and wish you hadn't.


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## Awaiting_Abyss (Jul 24, 2012)

We'd definitely get two bunnies. I told him I'd rather wait until we can afford to get them spayed and neutered, and he's fine with that. Also, we don't have an indoor cage for rabbits. We just have a monster outdoor cage that my dad built for me when I was little, and if I'm going to get an outdoor rabbit its better to get them in spring. 

I'm concerned about free range time if we get a indoor rabbits.. The ferrets have free range in my bedroom, but I sometimes let them out into the kitchen/den. The only room they don't have access to is the critter room.

@PaigeRose: I have that reaction to rats too! I usually try to wear a jacket when I'm handling my rats.


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## Sylver (Sep 5, 2013)

Back when I raised rabbits, it was in in a big rabbitry, all outdoors. That's how everyone kept them then. A lot of people any more though get them and free range them all or most of the time in the house (maybe crate them when they're not at home), treat them quite a bit like cats. Now that I've seen how house bunnies live (and how much longer they live than outdoor bunnies), I'd never be able to get exclusively outside rabbits again unless they were specifically for meat (i.e. not a pet, not going to be alive all that long). If it's a pet that I love (and isn't a horse or goat or something like that...), it's coming inside!

Not sure about the ferrets. I don't know if all that they do is genetic, or if they are trained to, but ferrets are often used for hunting rabbits. I know they can get along with cats though, and I know that rabbits can also get along fine with cats, so I imagine that it's at least a possibility. Ferrets like to play with teeth though, I wouldn't imagine a rabbit would take too kindly.


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## Awaiting_Abyss (Jul 24, 2012)

I've never had an indoor rabbit, but all of my outdoor rabbits have lived very long lives with no health problems. They were all unaltered as well.

Ferrets have keen hunting instincts. Some ferrets have stronger hunting instincts than others. My Macha's hunting instinct is extreme, so I know she would harm a rabbit. 

I'd guess my kitten would know a rabbit is prey too, though he has never actually killed anything.


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## Sylver (Sep 5, 2013)

I wouldn't think a kitten would be an issue if it's young enough. You can raise a kitten with a dog and it doesn't necessarily see it as a predator. Plenty of people raise cats with rabbits who get along fine (and even sleep together, just like a good cat/dog relationship). I imagine that an older cat who was already set in hunting (especially if they've taken rabbits, but most cats won't try, they're big!) might have some thoughts, but I would think a kitten would be fine to teach to get along. Especially if the rabbit is the same size or bigger than the cat, they don't look so much like prey. 

When we raised rabbits, we usually didn't have them for their entire lives. They were approaching 'old' by the time they were about 6 years old though. We didn't have anything older than that. What's the longest you've had an outdoor rabbit live?


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## Awaiting_Abyss (Jul 24, 2012)

Well I haven't actually fed rabbit to the kitten yet, but I had planned to. He's 6 months old... I'd think he would just sense its prey because of how rabbits respond.

The oldest rabbit I had was 11 years old. I got her "young" (meaning I'm not sure of her exact age) from a pet store and she lived with me for 11 years. 
The others were adults when I got them, so I really have no clue on ages.


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## Sylver (Sep 5, 2013)

I don't know if that matters either, but then again I don't know of anyone who has house rabbits and uses them as meat at the same time. I've never had cats go after chickens though, even having smaller chickens and feeding them chicken. Same with the dogs (but only if they were specifically trained as puppies to not go after chickens - otherwise they can't really be trusted not to). I think it would at least be worth some supervised contact. If it stresses the rabbit, or the cat gets _too_ interested (you know the look),I probably wouldn't push it. You might want to check out house rabbit forums, I bet they'd some advice for that on there.


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## Awaiting_Abyss (Jul 24, 2012)

Yeah, I was trying to find a rabbit forum a while back to join, but never found one that I liked so I gave up. lol I'm picky with forums.


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## Awaiting_Abyss (Jul 24, 2012)

Well, there are two rabbits on Craigslist right now who are both spayed and they're free, but its $50 for their cage. I brought it up to my husband and he said he doesn't want a rabbit anymore. I asked why he didn't and he said he "got over it."


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## Sylver (Sep 5, 2013)

lol, well that solves that.


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## Maddie (Jan 13, 2014)

I didn't read all the posts so sorry if I missed something. Was your husband a big pet lover previously or jut kinda likes them?When my wife and I got together it was firmly discussed between us to the understanding that I live animals and have to have pets, but she doesn't really like them at all. Well I like the furry pets and she adores things like fish or birds (mostly ducks and chickens). She likes a bit more low maintenance animals that need less human interaction. She has no issue with cleaning cages or keeping with feed schedules, but she isn't much for handling them. That's always been completely fine with me, and I have no interest in hanging her. We just have completely different personalities.I will say over the years the dogs have grown on her, and she loves them although you could never tell really. If your husband doesn't really enjoy animals that might just be the way he is? If he did love them at one point and has lost interest maybe he feels overwhelmed on the amount of animals that you have or feels like they get the majority of the attention? When you got all your animals was it a mutual decision to have them or did he just kinda agree because you wanted them? I know also having more pets tends to mean less time to spend with your spouse. I know my wife gets irritated if I spend long periods of time with the animals when she wants to does time with me. Typically we kind of plan out our night especially so that I spend time with her first and also before bed (our sleep schedules are different). I love my animals, but they always come second. I don't want her to ever feel jealous over one of my fur babies.On the rabbit situation when you want a new pet do you get it pretty quickly or take a while searching for the right one? Maybe he felt shut down in not being able to get the particular one he wanted? Or maybe it was just a passing want thy didn't last.I'm not saying you two fall into any of these categories since obviously I don't know you or your relationship. It's just a few things that come to mind, possible scenarios. If he doesn't enjoy the animals maybe you two could participate in a hobby you both really enjoy?


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