# I'm not crazy... right?



## LilCritter (Feb 25, 2014)

I love my mom. I really do. But she absolutely despises my rats for no reason other than she thinks that they're gross animals. In fact, she doesn't like any sort of rodent. Rabbits, which are lagomorphs, are barely cute to her, if even. Hamsters, mice, chinchillas, guinea pigs - they're all nasty little things to her. She grew up in Indonesia, where rats are literally vectors for some pretty nasty diseases, so I get it. My dad has worked in labs with rats, so he's a bit more... open... to them. Still, neither of them like rats. Honestly, I originally got these rats because I wanted to get into a program for exotic animal training and management; the first animal the program has you train? a rat. Seeing that I had never truly cared for an animal myself (I had fish and turtles when I was little, but I was too small to clean the tanks), I thought it'd be a good idea to get some rats and learn how to train them on my own (that was already a struggle to get going even though it was for my education). I've since been persuaded to attempt grad school. Anyway, my mom hated them in the house so much she had my dad construct a shed (it has air conditioning and heating) in the furthest darkest corner of the backyard to get them out.

Anyway, the longer I have the rats, the more I enjoy them. I don't get a lot of time with them as I work full time and my commute is 1-1.5 hours one way, and my weekends are usually trying to mediate the chaos in my life, but I enjoy the limited time I get with my rats. The more I do, the more my parents make me feel like I'm crazy. I try to warm them up to the little nifflers by telling them the daily antics and about the different personalities, but they won't change their mind that rats are personality-less little abominations. I made a reading nook under my work desk in my room (I've always liked small spaces to crawl into); it's lit up with a short string of Christmas lights and has pillows for lounging and a blanket. Honestly, as silly as it sounds coming from a young 20 year old, I was quite proud of it... until they called me weird and said that I was spending too much time with the rats and starting to act like them. It's stupid and quite possibly quite childish (I like to maintain a good bit of a child at heart mindset; it keeps life more fun for me), but the comment actually stung. And I get this kind of blase attitude towards the rats all the time.
Whenever my mom gets mad at me, she always brings up that I get everything I want - specifically, the rats. I enjoy the rats, and they're great at bringing me up from a bad day... but I really hate that they get used against me to make me feel like a spoiled brat. I originally got them so that I could have an edge in school. I live at home, so I go by their rules, which is why the rats are in a shed in a dark corner of the backyard. I'd honestly love for them to be in a high traffic area of the house where they can get more people interaction than you know... me. I should mention that I live at home because - despite being graduated from university - my mother can't seem to decide where she wants me. The original plan was I live at home and help pay for things here and there so that I could save for school. When I mention moving out, my mom argues that it'll be cheaper living at home and all that. But when I'm not thinking of moving out, she wants me to pay for car insurance (happy to do), credit card (very happy to do), gas (happy to do) and a bunch of other things that never get mentioned when I don't want to move out (soap, water I use, power I use, rent which never gets set to a price and seems to increase at every conversation, and whatnot). I wouldn't mind if everything got set and it wasn't like "Oh? You're not thinking of moving out? Then here pay for all of these things too!" and "Oh? You want to move out. Don't do that. Then you'll have to pay for all these other things that you don't have to pay for when you live at home." But then, whenever I point this out, my mom tells me how lucky I am because her friend had to give her mom all of her pay check (minus $50) until she got married and moved out.

Believe me, I know I'm lucky. Instead of having me get rid of the rats entirely, I got a shed to house them in - one that includes elements to keep temperatures livable for the little ones. I'm incredibly grateful that I got that chance. I get to live at home, as frustrating as it is at times. But sometimes, I don't know if I'm crazy. The most recent development is my parents wanting me to wear a specific set of clothes for interacting with the rats... or wear a lab coat (my dad and I work(ed) in labs). I can't help but think this is a little ridiculous. I went into the shed today to check the heating element. My mom got mad because I wore a new jacket into the shed and I was planning on sleeping in it. Didn't even touch the rats; didn't plan on it so I figured it was fine. Apparently not. The she got upset because I thought it was ridiculous to have a specific set of clothing to interact with my pets, which are very clean thank you... or even a lab coat that I wouldn't be able to wash at home anyway since I can't put any rat things in the laundry (I wash by hand or if - like this week - I forget to wash the laundry, I take the whole lot of it to a laundromat). My parents say it's not ridiculous (they did this when we were temporarily housing a dog... everyone had dog clothes - they went in a separate wash from the rest of our "normal" clothes).

So now I have no idea where I stand... I have no idea if I'm the one who's crazy or if I just live with people who really, really don't like rats... to an extreme degree. I know how lucky I am to have been able to keep my rats, but I honestly a questioning if it's worth it since I now question the normalcy of my mind... Anyway, sorry for such a long read that has no real structure to it. I apologize as it most likely makes little sense to anyone but myself and looks more like word vomit as I look over it... but that's my rat related rant. The other people I would normally talk to about this sort of thing are currently away or unavailable due to the holidays. Sorry again for the bother if you made it this far, but uber kudos for surviving the angst.


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## erinsweeney (Nov 13, 2014)

The seperate washing thing tipped me from "they don't like rats" to "they are kind of neurotic." I think you need to move out ASAP no matter what they say, but that's just me. My parents kicked me out of the house the day I turned eighteen and haven't spoken to me since, so I may be biased...


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## kksrats (Jul 25, 2014)

Questioning your sanity is probably the most sane thing in the world lol. I least you're conscious of how your mind operates and you question when something may or may not be within normal parameters. But, honestly, living with your parents can be one of the most mentally challenging things in the world. I went from living alone for 6 years, to living with my in-laws so that I could finish school and no longer have to work full time. It's hard, but you have to remember that there is an end to it eventually. I've come to the conclusion that I just shouldn't bring my rats up to certain people anymore. I'm fairly certain that my mother-in-law thinks I'm an absolute nut, but hey, I'm a functioning, successful nut, so who cares


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## LilCritter (Feb 25, 2014)

Erinsweeney, most of the people in my family are neurotic, myself included. We're just all neurotic about different things... or the same things in different ways, and it can cause a bit of tension. Normally, we function just fine... but when it comes to our neuroticisms... hehe, let's just say s*** hits the fan...

kksrats, yeah... I went from 3 years on my own for university to back home with my family. I graduated a year ahead in a difficult program and got a job nearly right off the bat... Maybe I am crazy... at least I'm still functional though. ;p


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## Rat Daddy (Sep 25, 2011)

We all make decisions, some are better, some worse, but they define who we are... What I see as crazy someone else believes is sane. My wife is rat phobic and she therefore can't like rats, she's irrationally terrified of them. Even when she can see that they are relatively clean and that my daughter loves them and that they actually are fond of my daughter... There's nothing I can do about my wife's opinion, she was terrified by rats as a child, she can't change, but that doesn't mean I can change either. So we disagree...

Many years ago a very intelligent fellow settled a long standing argument by declaring that both sides were right. I suppose I never thought about the possibility that there could be two right answers to the same question. Even the question as to whether rats are clean animals... try and find 5 people that define clean the same way, much less find 5 people that see rats the same way... If you can't define rats or clean, it's easy to get different answers.

I'm a bit older than you and I promise you you will make lots of bad decisions in your life and hopefully lots of good ones. A dear friend of mine decided to save 5 minutes and cut across the train tracks where he couldn't see an oncoming train, it wasn't a big mistake, he'd done it lots of times, but that time the express train was early and he never got home... Some day you might decide not to answer the phone and miss the career opportunity of a lifetime, most of the big mistakes you make in your life are paths unchosen, and you never will know what you missed and some of the best decisions you will make are will avoid disasters you will never even know you averted... That's life.

But you define yourself all in all... right or wrong and no one else can live your life for you. What's right for your parents isn't right for you... If you love your rats, it's part of who you are.

In the end, we will all die, our life is the sum of our experiences, it's a game no one wins or loses, so choose your own path... right? wrong? It doesn't matter as long as you live the experiences you need for you to be who you are...

Most likely, you are as crazy as everyone else, it isn't anything to worry about, it's just who you are. Be true to yourself because how can you be otherwise... And be grateful when you don't get hit by a train. And perhaps happy to have parents and rats that love you.

Best luck.


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