# Infuriated with unfair employment >.>



## lalalauren (Jul 3, 2013)

My boyfriend's job has been making me madder and madder recently. I will set the scene...
In May 2013, he left his old job as an IT Support Assistant because the job role had changed and he didn't enjoy it anymore. He left to move in with me, and we originally lived about 50 miles apart, so he couldn't continue working at his old job and move in with me. In hindsight, that was our first mistake. I get that, I totally do. The few months that followed were tough - I was in a job that I hated but couldn't leave because my boyfriend was unemployed. He was unemployed from May-September, when he found a job at a local pub, which was fantastic because we were living in the middle of nowhere, he doesn't drive, and this pub was literally the closest business to where we lived (bearing in mind that buses from our area ran only twice a day anyway). 

So, I left my job and found a new one, which I'm currently in now and very much enjoying.

Then things where we were living fell through - we were living in one of my mum's customer's (she's in banking) houses, as he lived and worked in China but would come back to the UK a couple of times in the year and wanted a base at home. So we were basically house sitting for a very reasonable rent. Anyway, he lost his job in China and, for the first time in 10 years, he couldn't find anything else! So he moves back...and he doesn't kick us out exactly, but it all becomes very awkward. Technically, we had a verbal agreement that we'd stay there until May 2014, and the house was big enough for us to do that comfortably, but he was very subtly pushing us out (whether he meant to or not), for example, he moved all of our kitchen stuff into the utility room, which has no oven or hob, and said we could use HIS oven and hob if we needed to, but basically that was our kitchen. He'd leave several TVs on in all of the rooms, so we we pretty much confined to the bedroom. 

So, we decided to move again...with my boyfriend starting to not enjoy his latest job in the pub owing to the fact that it is LITERALLY managed on a week-by-week basis with no regard for employment care whatsoever, we decided to move to a large-ish town some 15 miles away from where we were living previously. This town has incredibly transport links (so many buses!) and regular trains to London and wherever else you'd want to go. Our reasoning for it was that my boyfriend would be able to find a new job and it didnt even matter where it was because we had all of these transport links. 

Meanwhile, I'm now working 22 miles away from where I'm living. Not ideal, but I enjoy my work so I'll deal with it. Plus I drive. 

Now, with the job market as it is at the moment, my boyfriend is finding it very hard to get a new job. He has a year and a half in IT support, but that's about it. He's told his current job that he wants to leave because he believes in honesty, and because they pretty much assumed it anyway. Since moving away, he has been given as little as two shifts a week which, on minimum wage, is something that we just can't afford to live on. A guy who works there has recently given in his notice because he can't stand the place, and my boyfriend thought he'd get a few more shifts out of it, but apparently they've just hired a new full timer. Since pub work is a fairly seasonal business, everyone is suffering with shifts there, but no one has as much to lose as my boyfriend. Obviously, I'm coming at this from a bias point of view, but I currently have my boss literally trying everything she can to increase my pay without having herself be out of pocket because she knows that I pay my own rent and bills and that I need to be able to afford to live. I think the fact that our employers are just so different makes his employer seem that much worse. 

Anyway, that's kind of the scene...I can see it from their perspective as far as not having many shifts goes, I really can, but the thing that REALLY bugs me is this...they have never made my boyfriend a legal, official, tax-paying member of staff. And my boyfriend hates this. This means he's getting paid cash in hand illegally and he absolutely cannot stand it, but he doesn't know what to do about it. I think it's so the employer doesn't have to pay as much out as a business for having a certain number of staff members, or something...
Anyway, so with my boyfriend's shifts in decline, and our outgoings increasing unecessarily (I could REALLY do without having to spend petrol picking him up from work when he finishes late), we've been looking to the state for help. Not officially yet, but just browsing. We were thinking he could maybe going on jobseeker's allowance, seeing as they will pay out if you're working less than 16 hours a week, plus they'd help finance him when he has to travel to job interviews (making failures not seem quite as much like the end of the world). But then we were thinking...if he's not officially employed by this pub, how would that actually work? He's all up for admitting that he is working and not trying to get away with claiming the full jobseeker's, despite the fact that he could because he's not registered as being in employment anywhere...but then would he be the one getting into trouble for not paying tax? I've spoken to my mum about this, and she said that he wouldn't be paying tax anyway, because he doesn't earn enough throughout the year to do so, but that's not the point. The point is, I think the employer is getting away with something here by not officially employing my boyfriend, which has now got us in an awkward situation about how to claim for some help from the government. 

I will fully admit that I don't really understand a lot of what I'm talking about...all I know is, we cannot afford to keep living if my boyfriend's job don't give him more hours, or he doesn't find a job more local to where we live now. And since he's trying to find a job (applying to five jobs a day, on average), the only people I can see now who need to do something is this pub. Why did they hire another full time member of staff when the current staff members are begging for more work as it is?? Not just my boyfriend, but others who work there as well. Why don't they make him a full time member of staff and try and get him to stay there? If he made more money in a month, I could afford travelling to pick him up of an evening a lot more than I can now. I don't know what to do to help him. I know full well that any conversation he could have with his employer would end in NOTHING being done about it anyway, because he's always drinking and is extremely difficult to talk to. I just feel like we're in a horribly rough situation at the moment, and I feel very responsible because I know I'm the reason it all started. 

The one and only idea I have to get my boyfriend's employer to put him on books is by telling him that he wants to apply for a credit card, because he needs proof of employment to do that. And in all honesty, it'd be a perfectly valid reason given that we can't afford to live properly at the moment anyway with the amount he gets paid (although I'd never encourage him to actually apply for a credit card that he can't afford to pay off). 

I don't expect any answers to my problems, but typing it all out in sequence has really helped me.


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## lalalauren (Jul 3, 2013)

I've just learnt that he wouldn't necessarily be entitled to low income support because I work more than 24 hours a week. Even though I don't make enough for the both of us. Now I am at more of a loss!


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## gelarphoenix (Dec 12, 2013)

Personally i have no advice as i'm in a "somewhat" similar position. I live in australia and i made a big mistake. Although i disliked my job, was either getting too many or too little shifts and calls during school i left to focus on my final year. I thought i'd get another job come november. Fast forward 2 years. Second year university no job in sight. It's hard to get a full time job as it is, let alone studying 100kms away and driving up and back because i cannot afford to move out due to a lack of job and then i cant get a job because i study and nobody wants a student who prioritises a degree over working a menial job 24/7. I don't like it but since entering university i've had to go onto a youth payment to afford petrol and food and whatever for uni because my mother is unable to work due to disability and my father works but his job is in question at the moment so money is tight. They can't afford to support me much besides birthdays, christmas, a roof and some food. I don't expect much from the government but last year i was on $50 a week. That didn't cover fuel at all. I choose not to take the train because it's not safe to leave it at the station i'd be using, i cannot purchase a ticket from there as it is a platform in the middle of nowhere and it takes so much longer my days would o forever and i would be driven mad. I don't expect to be paid for luxuries like new clothes. I just want money enough for food and fuel so i don't have to stress about my budget every day. I apply for jobs constantly and i keep getting knocked back. I don't even know whether theres something in my resume they don't like, whether my references are any good or theres just that many people that are better than me. It makes me doubt my self confidence and i often feel like i'll never get hired. Even fast food won't take me. And i cannot earn more on my support payment because my father earns too much apparently. He earns juuuust enough for bills fuel food and the mortgage and last year had to pay tax. Apparently the government thinks they are capable of supporting me much more than they can. They shelter me and feed me. I can't even pay them board. I think it's utterly ridiculous. Fortunately things may get better. My own boyfriend is moving from another state to be with me soon enough and we intend on staying with my parents, saving money if it's even possible which i find myself doubting and eventually moving out together to a teensy tiny flat. I know i'll miss the luxuries of living with family and we will be poor but it'll be a nice bit of freedom. I also imagine mum will be happier knowing our rats wont stay long there. I refuse to have my boyfriend rehome them to move here. They are one of the few things that keep me happy as well as the fact that i could never rehome an animal unless i couldn't look after it financially. 

Sorry i turned that into a self rant. Perhaps it will give you comfort knowing there are other feeling pain regarding jobs and money. I hate talking about money but it's one thing that stays on your mind when it's an issue...


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

I of course am not acquainted with British laws. But does your hours count towards him since he is just "boyfriend"? 

In America, it wouldn't count unless they were married or he was claimed on your tax forms as a dependent of you. 


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## lalalauren (Jul 3, 2013)

Although I am sorry that you are in a similar predicament, it does give me comfort knowing that jobs are hard to come by all over the place. My boyfriend is hard time at the moment because he has no formal qualifications, just experience. Which is great and all, but he's also 25 and so doing anything "menial" is kind of out of the question because his minimum wage requirement is more than someone under 18, so despite his wisdom in years, it's not worth it monetarily to an employer. And he can try and get another IT support job, but right now he's in competition with graduates, who also can't find a job because they have no experience (and he can't find a job because, despite experience, there are a lot of places who won't even look at him without a degree). It's swings and roundabouts and it's very disheartening :/ for example, I'm a graduate who can't find a job in my field because I have no experience. Therefore, I'm working a job for less money than I should be on because it has great prospects and can get me some experience in small events managing. But until I get that experience, I'm pretty useless. 

I know he's just my boyfriend, but I think because we're living together, it counts. I think. They don't call it "husband/wife", they call it "partner" and they call it "living with partner", which suggests to me that it's any kind of relationship. What I really want to do is phone up and talk to someone about this and what our rights are, but I know he's basically terrified that he's going to get in trouble for taking money cash in hand, even though he's completely against it, and he can't exactly leave because he doesn't agree with their ethics because he can't find another job.


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## monster_paws (Jan 17, 2013)

My s/o went through something similar with your boyfriend where the employer was doing something illegal with the wages. That was in mid 2012. Now he has a much better job, but he recently got notice that his old job is being sued for millions of dollars because of this and everyone affected is supposed to get a cut. We're talking thousands here. Some guy got a lawyer and got this ball rolling. 

This is the US though, not sure how UK applies.


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## lalalauren (Jul 3, 2013)

Just nice to hear that unethical employers are getting what's coming to them. His boss is actually bankrupt and he's signed the business over to his partner to keep it going. As far as I'm aware, he's trying to sell the place, and if he succeeds, I'm sure he will have no problem kicking all of the employees out, some of whom live on site. 


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## Voltage (May 15, 2013)

I had a similar predicament but without the worry of losing my home. I live in Las Vegas and in 2012 I moved to Michigan which is over 2000 miles away to live with my boyfriend. I had visited once before I moved and I didn't realize just how far out of town they lived. I also didn't realize there was absolutely no transit system. I was working at Walmart before I moved so I just transferred to the closest one to his home in Michigan. I worked there from September 2012 to February 2013 before I was fired because of spotty attendance when I couldn't get a ride to work. It was too far away for me to walk or bike and there wasn't always someone to give me a ride. I got an interview at a taco bell near there but didn't get the job and that was it. Zach ended up losing both his jobs because of his mom. He worked at a store like I did and at his mom's place of employment. The company offered him full time so he put in his two weeks notice at the store but the manager got mad about it and basically tore up his two weeks notice and fired him. And then the company fired his mom and him by extension. Like a couple days later as I recall. So all three of us were unemployed and she RAISED the rent even though we had no income to give her. Neither me or Zach got another job while there but his mom did. And the rent stayed raised and was raised again while we were unemployed. Before I moved in rent was $50 a week. By the time I moved out it was $125 A WEEK to live in a small cramped room in the back of a crappy doublewide. When apartments in much better condition were cheaper to rent. And she always acted like we were hiding money from her. Trying to make deals with us. I moved back to Vegas and rent stayed the same for Zach who was still there. By the time I got him to Vegas she says we owe her over $3000. And we have had no luck finding work here....

I don't actually have any real advice but I wanted to share my story

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## monster_paws (Jan 17, 2013)

^Have you thought about working on the strip?


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## Rat Daddy (Sep 25, 2011)

Sometimes employers hire off the book workers to fill stop gap openings. Also there are some cash and carry positions that suit certain people that they may not need long term. 

If I owned a bar, I would most likely hire a top notch bartender with a following full time. The fellow who unloads kegs, cleans up and does the odd jobs might be cash and carry. It also helps to 'invest' money in this way for a cash business.

Advise... if your boyfriend knew what he was getting into, he's being treated fairly, even if it is poorly. When I was quite a bit younger, I took jobs with a career in mind. I finally told my employer that out of 83 offices I was number one in sales for 3 months running and the top of every category that mattered... His response was that that was why I was hired and why I kept my job... even though everybody new was being hired at a much higher rat of pay and they even hired a new manager for my branch rather than promote me...

I realized he was right and took another job for nearly double the pay. By not promoting me or giving me reasonable raises, he wasn't cheating me... I took the job for that pay, and I did it really well. In fact, I was the best at what I did on several jobs, but didn't get the promotion which is why I usually left. 

Promotions are actually rare in today's world. Companies don't start you in the mail room to test you for an executive position, they need someone to sort the mail. They hire their management from ivy league universities. And if you do a great job sorting the mail, they will be happy to let you do it for the next 40 years. When everyone switches to e-mail they will hire an IT guy to administer the mail servers and fire you. 

I would do a double check to try and find out why your boyfriend isn't getting hired...

Have someone you know verify his references in case his prior employer is warning people against hiring him...

Change his wardrobe and resume around. Practice interviews...

And try and telephone target employers before driving around so his time is more focused on the right interviews.

When one company laid off some of my best friends and former bosses, one was out of work for over 2 years... the other bought a stack of books on job hunting and a new sharper and modern wardrobe. The later of the two was back to work within 3 weeks. 

5 interviews a day and no job offers means it's time to change something. 

I might add that most of the people I didn't hire torpedoed their own chances at getting hired. When I ran an add, I really needed someone... if they had shut up and looked decent I might have taken a chance... if they said something I wanted to hear, I would have hired them on the spot and yet most gave me at least 10 reasons to NOT hire them within minutes... My favorite was a young lady that had 3 suits against her former employers going at the same time for slip and falls... I think I held her hand as I walked her out and all the way to the curb. The 65 lb fellow who only asked about health insurance coverage and how quickly it starts and how long after he can't come to work it continued was most likely my second least favorite candidate and the young lady that got to the interview 3 hours late didn't impress me much either. And the whole hoard of people that ranted against their former employers didn't inspire me much either... Good interviewers are quick to cull job seekers that they don't like for whatever reason. 

When I hire, I want to hear how much new business you can bring me, or how much money you will make me or how much money you will save me or how you are going to make my live easier. And I want to hear how you are going to dedicate your life to my business to make it more successful, how you play well with others and how hard you are willing to work. 

During the 1980's depression I knew a fellow that got hired when he offered to work for half wages until he proved himself. He actually was hired at full pay, but he so impressed the interviewer that he started the very next day in a supervisory position. And BTW the guy was very good, he wasn't bluffing, he proved himself one of the best bosses I ever worked with. I knew the interviewer, and he told me that anyone with that much confidence just had to be good. 

So, although I can't give you any specific advise, work with your boy friend and get him to change up his tactics. It might be something minor he's doing wrong, but trust me, if he isn't getting jobs, he's likely shooting himself in the foot and doesn't realize it. And he shouldn't tell potential employers he's working off the books and he should have a reason he's been out of work so long... that isn't health or laziness related, like he has been doing his own business doing computer repair or such...

Best luck.


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## lalalauren (Jul 3, 2013)

He went into the job thinking it'd be all fair and legal. He was supposed to be full time, but they cut his hours when we moved away, despite the fact that we had more money commitments in our new flat. Before we moved, we worked out a plan whereby he'd take regular driving lessons and eventually take my car to work, because I can get a bus or train to my work. But he can't take driving lessons now because he simply can't afford it with the hours he's getting. When we moved, we knew it was our problem being so far from where we worked. We didn't expect anything to change with our employment situation. Mine didn't - I still get to work at the same time every morning, I simply have to leave earlier and suffer the traffic - that's my problem. He told his job that he didn't want his hours cut and he would make all of the shifts that he was given, and how he got there was his own problem and nothing that they needed to worry about. But they just cut his hours anyway, thinking they were being kind.

I'll have a look at his cv and try to revamp it. I based it on mine, which can get an interview or phone call fairly easily. My main issue is that he's becoming disheartened and I'm worried that that is coming across in his applications, so I do help him where I can. 


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## lalalauren (Jul 3, 2013)

He apparently has no hours this week at all. I'm urging him to try and find someone with a bit more knowledge to talk about his situation confidentially to, but I'm unsure those people exist. He's going to have a word at work and see if he can either get more hours or get put on the books so he can legally claim low income benefits while he's job hunting for something better. It's either that, of he blags about his illegal employment, but he's worried that he'll be seen as just as bad as the employer for not reporting it in the first place (even though he thought he WOULD be put on the books when he took the job). the way I see it, if his boss puts him on the books, I reckon he'll get taxed more, or something stupid, per member of staff, but I'm not an employer so I don't know. But that's sure what it feels like. 


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