# Orlando



## Andromeda (Apr 28, 2016)

So I know you guys are probably sick of hearing about the Orlando massacre by now, but I just need to get some things off of my chest because I have been a mess since I heard and this is really the only place that I feel like I can just rant for a bit.

I'm a bisexual woman. A lot of people roll their eyes at that and assume that I'm either faking it and I'm actually gay, or that I'm pretending to like girls so that I'll have sexy stories to tell my future boyfriends. Whatever, I don't care. I know who I am, and I know how I feel, and I've never let this get to me. I also never let it get to me when my female friends would make jokes about me 'jumping them' during sleepovers or pool parties or anything that required them to take of their clothes because I knew they were kidding. I don't even let it bother me when my male friends jokingly try and get me to make out with girls when we go out drinking. Again, it's just a stupid joke.

But after Orlando, suddenly none of those things seem like jokes anymore. Suddenly, it genuinely seems like my non-LGBT friends see me as some kind of anomaly. Some kind of odd creature that is so different from them, so wacky and crazy, that I must adhere to different rules than the rest of them.

I have only ever had a few moments of genuine fear due to being an out queer person, but I usually feel pretty safe. I live in Canada, and while there are still a lot of people with antiquated ideas, it's generally understood that voicing those ideas publicly is no longer socially acceptable. But I am scared now. I am scared because what happened in Orlando made me realize that there are some people out there who have so much hate in their hearts that they can murder 50 people that they have never even met. I'm scared because I realize that the man who did this would have killed _me_ if he had the chance, and he would have felt no remorse for it. And I'm _terrified_ because I know that there are people out there who might gain strength from his actions, and believe that it's okay for them to do the same thing. And next time, it might be me. I've been to gay clubs before, and I'm sure I'll go to them again. Who's to say that the next time I go out to have a fun night with my friends, some lunatic won't decide that we are all just absolutely evil and vile people because we have the courage to be ourselves, and to love the way we want to - the way we _have to_ - love.

The youngest person killed that night was Akyra Monet Murray. She was 18 years old. She had just graduated high school, on of the top students of her class, and was going to college on a basketball scholarship. _18 years old._ She hadn't even started living. She was a _kid._ But somebody thought that she deserved to die, either because she was part of the LGBT or because she had friends who were or just because she supported LGBT people enough to go to a gay bar. She will never go to college, or get a job, or get married, or have a family, or travel the world, or do anything that she could have possibly wanted to do in her life because someone shot her.

I don't know the shooter's name. I don't want to know the shooter's name. I don't want to know where he came from, or what his religious beliefs were, or his political views, or what his family thinks, or what kind of toothbrush he uses. I don't want to know anything about him because it doesn't matter. Religion doesn't kill people. Politics don't kill people. Ignorance and bigotry and intolerance kill people.

I am scared. But when the next Pride event happens in my town, I will be there. I will be scared, but I'll be there. Because keeping quiet, and hiding away, and pretending to be someone I'm not isn't going to make things like this stop happening. Inside I will be terrified, but I will also be proud, and loud, and happy to be alive, and that's what I'll show the world. I will not be forced into pretending not to feel what I feel, and I *will not feel shame* for being who I am.

I am alive, and I am a person, and I am bisexual, and I am a member of the LGBT community. I am also a good person, and I deserve to feel just as safe as any other good person does. Every single one of those people who died, deserved to feel safe, and to feel loved, and to be given all of the joy that they gave others. But instead they died in terror.

I'm sorry if this is inappropriate for the forum, but I am just so upset that something like this could happen. Thanks for reading.


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## Nieve5552 (May 20, 2014)

I am so sorry that this has happened, and words cant describe how horrified I am, and how much I want to comfort everyone who are directly or indirectly affected by this tragedy. I am straight, but I've never had negative feelings about everyone who identified as LGBT. You guys are just people, same as everyone else, who has the capacity to love just like anyone else. I think that everyone who says things like 'Bisexuals arent real, they just want attention' or 'S/he is too young to know if s/he is gay or not, they're just confused' are DUMB. Most people KNOW what they like and what they dont. We dont say things like 'Oh you're too young to know if you're straight or not!' So why should that be said about the others? 
People dont understand LGBT, or just plain dont like those people because its 'not natural' or 'against nature's law'. Well guess what, pretty much everything humans do arent natural. We're destroying nature itself, and LGBT people not aligning with some people's idea of 'natural' should be the least of our worries. 

I have so much respect for you and everyone else who are brave enough to show yourself as who you are, despite all the negativity in this world. 
I really hope that this kind of tragedy doesnt ever happen again, and that someday you are all able to march at any Pride event without ever fearing for your safety. 
I dont see any problem with you posting this here, I believe this section of the forum allows rants about everything  Its good to spill your mind somewhere, and talk to people, its small but a load off nonetheless.

I stand with you, there may be a lot of haters of the LGBT community but remember there are also a lot of people outside the community who support you


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## Rat Daddy (Sep 25, 2011)

First, I'm deeply saddened by the events in Orlando. Nut jobs don't need reasons for doing stupid or bad things. In fact it's their evil deeds that define them. This loser gets no sympathy from me. But in the end, one twisted freak of nature killed a bunch of innocent people for absolutely no good reason. Otherwise nothing has changed in the universe.

You are still loved and you are still valued and you are still cherished for who you are... 

Over the coming weeks, the real evil people are going to spin this for their own personal benefit. They will try and divide us once again... Christians vs Muslims, gun owners vs non gun owners, straight vs gay and any other combination of ideology and prejudice will be exploited by people who want to benefit from this event to advance their agenda and make themselves feel more important. While the killer might have been deranged, these people know what they are doing and are perhaps even more evil. Don't drink the Kool-Aid and don't let anyone try to frighten you into changing who you are, what you believe, or who you like or love.

This is a time to come together, to mourn as a world community and to love and show compassion for each other. Nothing has changed, and we can't let anything change because of one freak, we can't give up our liberties or our freedom to be who we are, or live in fear because of one demented nut job... as I'm fond of saying.... never and not ever!

I'm sad for the victims and their families. And I'm disgusted by people who would try and benefit from these events to promote their agendas. 

A Chinese general once said, "If you have fear, you need more courage." This is a time to be brave, to be proud of who you are and to stand your ground. We live in a free and enlightened society and we don't take a single step backwards because one mentally ill or depraved person would want us to. 

It's easy to be who you are when no one is challenging you, it's harder when your convictions are tested. This is a time to come together to share our grief and show people who hate, just how strong our bonds of love are... one world... one community and one people united by our individuality and not divided by it.

Big hugs all around.

Peace and rainbows...


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## Grotesque (Mar 19, 2014)

It was truly horrible. There were reports of the shooter being a regular of that club, forming relationships with the other patrons. I wonder what made him turn against everyone so violently?


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## Fraido (Oct 1, 2014)

Grotesque said:


> It was truly horrible. There were reports of the shooter being a regular of that club, forming relationships with the other patrons. I wonder what made him turn against everyone so violently?


If that's the case he probably hid his hate to get close and do that.


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## Grotesque (Mar 19, 2014)

You're probably right, Fraido.


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## Rat Daddy (Sep 25, 2011)

Is there such a thing as a gay homophobe? Seriously, I've never thought about it before... So, I suppose that's a real question even if it sounds almost absurd... I don't mean to be disrespectful to anyone or to change the topic... but if anyone can shed some light on the subject, you can PM me if you would rather not answer on this thread. In any event, it seems to be the way the media is headed...


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## Grotesque (Mar 19, 2014)

Rat Daddy - I'm not gay, but there are a lot of homosexuals and transsexuals in my family. I personally think that a "homophobe" gay person is possible. I think that happens when the person has that fight between their feelings/desires and their fear of being gay. Some people feel ashamed of it and start to hate other gay people. 

I think that might have been what happened to make Dahmer snap. 

Just my two cents.


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## Kelsbels (Aug 12, 2015)

Having a lot of gay, lesbian, and bi friends myself, and going to gay clubs and attending Pride events it is the most comfortable welcoming community I've hung out with. I use to go to gay clubs all the time since I was 17 and it was a safe place to dance and meet new people. This tragedy hits me deep, and I feel for the LGBT community and my heart goes out to the families and loved ones.

It's been very hard to articulate how I feel about this or any of the many mass shootings that has happened in the USA. It is political, it is a hate crime, it is terrorism, and it should never have happened.

Yes Rat Daddy, to answer your question someone can be the biggest well-known homophobe and gay. It sounds weird, but if you've been told by family, friends, media, and other people that being gay is shameful all your life you're going to build a homophobic wall. Like Grotesque said there's a lot of inner turmoil as well.

All the victims of this shooting were so young... such a waste of beautiful young lives. It does look like the LGBT community is coming together and staying strong despite the fear of something like this may happen again.


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## Andromeda (Apr 28, 2016)

Rat Daddy said:


> Is there such a thing as a gay homophobe? Seriously, I've never thought about it before... So, I suppose that's a real question even if it sounds almost absurd... I don't mean to be disrespectful to anyone or to change the topic... but if anyone can shed some light on the subject, you can PM me if you would rather not answer on this thread. In any event, it seems to be the way the media is headed...


I actually kind of have an interesting story about that. The only person I really had a problem with in high school was this one girl that I was convinced was a crazy religious bigot. xP I 'officially' came out when I was fifteen and started dating a girl (my first relationship ever, actually), and most people either didn't care or were actually supportive. This one girl was the only person who ever actually called me names to my face, and we had a couple of nasty arguments over the years. Anyway, maybe five months after I graduated I (and a few other people she targeted) got a Facebook message from this girl.

She basically apologized for her behavior, and said that she'd actually really admired me and my friends for being out in high school. She had moved across the country to go to university, and was living as an out and proud lesbian.  I was beyond shocked. We still talk every now and then, but it just goes to show that you never really know someone. She'd been too afraid to be herself in our town because her parents were very traditional and strict, and she was afraid they would throw her out.



> Having a lot of gay, lesbian, and bi friends myself, and going to gay clubs and attending Pride events it is the most comfortable welcoming community I've hung out with. I use to go to gay clubs all the time since I was 17 and it was a safe place to dance and meet new people. This tragedy hits me deep, and I feel for the LGBT community and my heart goes out to the families and loved ones.


For the most part, the LGBT community is awesome. I went to Vancouver for Pride week last year and I met so many people who treated me like a long lost friend after only knowing them for maybe 5 minutes. xD


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## Gribouilli (Dec 25, 2015)

His dad has an extremist Islamic radio show. He was born in an environment of hate and thinking that gay is evil. He most likely saw himself as evil for being gay, and from that I guess killing people would come easily. It is a simplification of course, but you get the idea.


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## Squeakfluff (Dec 7, 2015)

It is pretty terrible...I cried when I heard about it on the news. I have tons of LGBT friends and family members and I'm scared that any of them could be victims of a hate crime like this. I wish our government would do something to keep weapons like that out of the hands of dangerous people. 

This is why I like rats better than people.


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