# Help :/



## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

Hi all, 


I need your help!

First off, I am 24 and still live with my parents (ugh >_<). I have 2 rats on hold for me at the pet store, and the hold expires on Saturday. My problem is that I cannot get my parents to agree to let me bring them home, and I think that part of it is due to the typical "EWWW! GROSS! RATS!" thing. I have told them that I will pay for everything, that they don't have to interact with them in any way, and that they will stay in my room away from them (I plan to let them out in my room when I am home, which is a lot of the time). I think that rat pee is another "problem" for them. I have several friends who have/have had rats, and they all told me that rat pee doesn't really smell unless you don't clean the cage for a while. I plan on being very diligent when it comes to cage cleaning so that it isn't an issue. 

I guess what I need from you guys is knowledge I can use to support my argument that having rats is not a bad thing. Any and all help/advice is appreciated!!


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

Ask them why not; ask about compromising. 

I'm moving back in with my mom when I graduate and the rats will live in the basement and I upstairs.


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## Pawprints (Feb 17, 2014)

I know how you feel, I'm 21 and I live with mine :/

It took a lot of convincing to get my mother to let me have a pet rat, then it took a little more convincing when I came home with three of them 

Do you have a cage already? If so I would just go to the store and pick up your babies and bring them home. Maybe if you already have them brought home and set up in their cage, your parents will be a little more accepting. If they still have a problem with it, tell them to give you a month or so to prove you can take care of them and they won't smell, and if you can't prove it at the end, say you'll get rid of them (Which won't happen if your as diligent as cleaning as you say) 

Honestly it really depends on your parents personalities.


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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

nanashi7 said:


> Ask them why not; ask about compromising.
> 
> I'm moving back in with my mom when I graduate and the rats will live in the basement and I upstairs.


When I ask why I can't, their answer is "We don't want rats in this house." They won't go into specifics, and it's extremely frustrating


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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

Pawprints said:


> I know how you feel, I'm 21 and I live with mine :/
> 
> It took a lot of convincing to get my mother to let me have a pet rat, then it took a little more convincing when I came home with three of them
> 
> ...


I have considered just going and picking them up, but my dad said that if I did, that he would have no problems throwing them outside, which I feel is cruel, not just to them, but to me. I'm really at a loss here :/


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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

I also think I should add that I was allowed to have hamsters when I was a kid.


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## JapaneseDolly (Nov 14, 2013)

Why would you have rats on hold if you know your parents won't allow? That just causes upset to yourself, if your parents won't have them in the house there isn't much you can do really. My mom wouldn't allow me to have rats, any other animal in the world I could have but not rats , now I'm 21 with my own house I have 4 gorgeous babies. Maybe it's just best to wait until you move out,saves you heartbreak and potentially getting the poor babies thrown out


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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

JapaneseDolly said:


> Why would you have rats on hold if you know your parents won't allow? That just causes upset to yourself, if your parents won't have them in the house there isn't much you can do really. My mom wouldn't allow me to have rats, any other animal in the world I could have but not rats , now I'm 21 with my own house I have 4 gorgeous babies. Maybe it's just best to wait until you move out,saves you heartbreak and potentially getting the poor babies thrown out


That would be wise, yes. But the problem is that I have become so attached to these particular rats. I have held them, they have given me kisses, etc. And part of me still believes I can change their minds-I just don't know how. So I guess that I am just so focused on the end goal that I can't give up.


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## Pawprints (Feb 17, 2014)

hmm, is he a bluffer or would he really throw them out? Guess it's not really worth the risk though so I personally wouldn't try it. 

You could go the annoying route and put rat related things all over the house, draw rats on sticky notes and put them everywhere and what not until they get the hint.

Sorry, I know that's a little absurd, but I'm out of ideas. In the end it is their house and if they aren't okay with it then you might just have to wait until you have your own place. A bummer for sure.

On a side note, I don't know why parents have no problem with their kid owning a hamster (all of which I owned in the past were very evil) but when it comes to rats they say no. When I was a kid I couldn't have rats, guinea pigs, ferrets, birds, all because they were "smelly". It was just fish and hamsters for me. Now they realize I take great care of my pets and I'm sure I could bring just about anything home. Might have to try a snake sometime 8)

But yeah, if you can't convince them, I would wait.


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## kenzierey (Jan 27, 2014)

When I was like 15 or 16 I brought rats home and my parents never even knew, until I told them but they were pretty fine with it. I dont advise doing the same thing though as your parents do not seem to be as lenient about such things. LOL. My suggestion would be doing a lot of research and showing them all of the great qualities in rats. Show them cute videos and maybe rats doing tricks to show them how intelligent these animals really are because so many people have no clue and just think of them as unintelligent vermin. I also suggest getting girls as they smell significantly better and do not mark (pee) on things as much as boys do. With regular cleaning I can not smell my girls whatsoever. I was always able to break my parents by research research research. It shows responsibility and also just how badly you really want it. If after all that they dont accept it then the only thing you can really do unfortunately is wait until you have your own place.


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

I know this is childish but if dad is the meanie, beg with mom. Go to the store together and have her pet it smell it talk to the worker. I do not think your age precludes you from this. My parents are divorced I'm 21 if one won't help I call the other. Dad as the parent with minimal custody rights and no understanding of females just melts when his daughters cry. Haha.


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## Kuraudia (Jan 15, 2014)

There was once a thing in my biology class and...getting to the point, lots of fertilized chicken eggs that needed a home. I had asked my parents but they said NO. I looked at one of the hatched ones and just melted. I could not go home without one. I risked it and took an eggy home. My parents ended up loving him!
I know it's not the same thing (I must say, chicks are VERY MESSY and can be VERY SMELLY) but maybe you're willing to risk it? Could you take them home and say: "are you really going to throw these cuties away and let them die?" or would they really do it?
My mom hated the idea of me having rats (she kinda still does, calls me a "maniac" for being a seventeen year old girl that adores animals) but I convinced her using compromise. The rats would always be in my room and I would take care of them on my own, them being my responsibility. One of my rats was pregnant (didn't know) and she gave birth to beautiful babies that my mom ended up liking and even touching (which is very good of her).
I'm not saying that you should get a pregnant rat, I'm just saying that you need to insist without nagging them and show them all of the rats good qualities.


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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

Pawprints: I have no idea :/ Yeah, I don't get it either. My hamsters were somewhat smelly, and everyone I have talked to has said that rats don't really smell. It makes no sense! 

kenzierey: I actually used a quote from your post (about females not marking as much) in a sheet for my dad. Hopefully it works!! 

nanashi7: Lol usually my dad is the one I can convince, but he is not budging this time. I'm not giving up, though! I'll pay the pet store to hold onto them for longer, if I have to (I have already bought them, so I own them. They are just holding them for me). 

Kuraudia: He has said that he would do things before and hasn't, but I'm just not comfortable enough to risk it with this. I would never forgive myself if I brought them home and he threw them outside. I typed up a "q&a" sheet for him. I talked to him on the phone, and he was talking about the smell, that they would breed, and that they would escape my room. They won't breed, as they are both female, I won't let my room smell (and I will have nature's miracle as a backup  ) and I wrote up something that should hopefully convince him that they won't escape (I plan on buying draft guards for my doors so that they cannot get into the rest of the house).


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## lulabelle (Oct 19, 2013)

Although its not the same as I have my own place, when I told my parents about my boys they were exactly the same I.e eww they're gross, why would you want rats etc. However when my mum met them she definitely softened and even petted my big one. I then caught her later on crouched by the cage chattering away to them in a baby voice. She even admitted that they were quite cute and if I did have them at home she'd probably spend alot of time talking to them.
Have you tried rationalising that you having rats is no different really to you having hamsters, theyre just a bit bigger/less smelly and more intelligent.
Plus push the point that they will never have to see them/interact with them so they probably wont notice they're there.
As much as you have to respect them as you're under their roof, you are also an adult and they should respect that and be able to talk to you as one.
Good luck!!

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## Loonalover613 (Feb 16, 2014)

I would just bring them home since you already payed for them. I am a bit worried if your dad will throw them out but sometimes parents can end up liking the pet(s). I would try to show the. Some videos and pictures and any research you find because when you do this they can't really say that they're gross and stuff. They will realize that's there not so bad. Also like stated above by other people you should try to compromise and say that you have owned hamsters before... And compare them saying that rats are much more loyal and loving and smarter and cleaner. If they let you get a hamster why wouldn't they let you get ratites? They also live for about the same amount if time so if that's the problem then it shouldn't be. (Like if they don't want you to get any animals because of when you want to move of something and you won't be stuck with them for 10 years.) Hope this helped and good luck!


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## Rat Daddy (Sep 25, 2011)

I suppose I'd take dad to the pet shop to meet the rats. And you should explain to him you are not bringing "rats" into the house. Fancy rats are much more like dogs than wild rats.

I've done meet and greets with hundreds of people and you would be surprised how many people who hated "rats" fell in love with "fancy rats"...

I actually had a fellow that "really knew rats" tell me that there was no way our "fancy rat" could possibly be related to real rats... And sure enough, we couldn't fool him... there was no way our fancy rat could be a real rat, had to agree that he was right, as he was so happily playing with our fancy rat at the time...

If dad still needs convincing show him these real life rat photos and tell him this is what you want....


A squishy little friend that loves you...








__
Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18
Show Content










That loves to play and swim at the beach...









That walks at heel like a dog...









And that makes everybody happy...














And maybe can melt the hardest heart by just being cute...















Fancy rats are nothing like what your dad is thinking about when you say rat...

I'm also a dad, and I never thought I'd have rats in my home either... but they turned out to be way more fun and intelligent than I ever imagined. I don't even mind that I "got stuck" taking care of them and training them...

And I never have to walk them in the rain or the snow.


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## TNCraftyRat (Nov 13, 2013)

I wish you the best of luck with your endeavors, I hope they budge and let you have your ratties otherwise you are going to be spending a lot of time at that pet store.


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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

Hi all, 

Thanks so much for all of your responses. It's not looking good 

I had a big discussion with my dad last night, and I thought I had actually changed his mind. He asked me questions, he listened to what I had learned (both here and elsewhere). But when I asked if I could bring them home, he said "The answer is still no." I'm really at a loss here. I want him to come with me to the pet store to see them, but I doubt that that would ever happen. I told him about the cages (The cage my girls are in? No odor whatsoever. The males' cage? There was an odor, but it wasn't overpowering), and still nothing. I was at the pet store yesterday to see them, and I was talking to the owner and some of the employees, and they were telling me that it is probably a prejudicial thing against rats. I asked them questions about smell, escaping, etc, and the answers were just as I had suspected. If my dad could hear what they have to say, I bet his mind would change, or that he would at least give it some thought. But I don't think I can get him in there.


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## LeStan82 (Dec 31, 2013)

Did your dad talk to you about why he didnt want rats in the house? Is he just that closed minded? They are like hamsters(just way better)!! Some really uneducated people(about rats that is) are just really put off by the simple fact that they are a rat, little do they know how special and cool they can be. He needs to be a little more open minded and just interact with one. Does any one you know have rats that he could seeso he would could become familiar with them and just see. He just might really take to a rat once he sees how fun it is to interact and watch them. Sorry he's giving you a hard time about them. Its funny because our friends tease my husband about the fact we have rats and the fact he is an exterminator(his coworkers also tease him).he doesnt want to get attched to my rats so he doesnt have anything to do with them. He says if he starts to like them then he will feel bad in his line of work.


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## MimiSkye (Feb 3, 2014)

I feel you, I'm 22 and living at home 

My parents aren't very strict, but they said the same thing. I knew they would cave eventually so what I did is went out and bought their cage, which is obviously expensive. I told my mom I just spend $100 on a cage so I am going to get them and she just sighed and said whatever. You can try that! But that's just my parents. If yours are more strict, try showing them pictures and videos of really cute rats. Also, explain to them that they are super smart, can be litter box trained, and the females smell like grapes.

You are right about the cage smell, as long as you keep it clean there will be no smell at all. My parents were shocked because they thought they would stink up the whole house. I would suggest getting females if you are worried about the smell, males spray to mark their territory.


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## nanashi7 (Jun 5, 2013)

(Males don't spray, but they do mark more)


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## pigletxdobbyxbuttons (Feb 15, 2014)

I live with my mom too, she was saying no no way rats are gross. I kept telling her they may get eaten by a snake if they have to go to the pet store (yours are already there so you can say that) , I showed her videos of rats doing tricks on YouTube because she didn't know they were smart. I promised she'd never have to see them touch them or pay for anything. I showed her facts from the internet about how rats aren't dirty. She thought they were. And I wouldn't shut up she got really annoyed but gave in. She still doesn't like them too much but when I'm at work and she's not she gets them veggies makes sure they have water and that my rooms warm enough, even though I don't ask her too. She obviously doesn't hate them as much as she thought she would

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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

He's refusing to go to the pet store


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## saratherussiandog (Aug 9, 2013)

I had to beg for more than two years, but I did do a lot of research. Anyways, I think the thing that finally got my mom to agree was crying. Just act very depressed, let a few tears fall.  I was actually very sad so the tears were not completely fake. Childish, but parents hate seeing their kids sad.


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## pigletxdobbyxbuttons (Feb 15, 2014)

I'm sorry to hear that

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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

saratherussiandog said:


> I had to beg for more than two years, but I did do a lot of research. Anyways, I think the thing that finally got my mom to agree was crying. Just act very depressed, let a few tears fall.  I was actually very sad so the tears were not completely fake. Childish, but parents hate seeing their kids sad.


I have cried (for real lol) on 3 different occasions, and nothing >_< My dad said I was being pathetic


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## Daize (Jun 8, 2013)

iloverats24 said:


> I have cried (for real lol) on 3 different occasions, and nothing >_< My dad said I was being pathetic


You could just wait until you have your own place. 

It could be that your parents think there's more important things you could be spending your time/money on. 

I know if I was living with my parents, at 24, I really wouldn't be worried about getting permission to get a "new pet". I'd be concentrating on getting a place of my own and being independent.


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## jolyvette (Jan 13, 2014)

I am really shocked at the advice to just get them and hopefully your parents will deal. It is your parents house. Even if you were renting a room from them, they would be landlords and are saying clear as day NO to your request at this time. 

Get your own place that allows pets and make your own rules. The upsides to living with your parents is that you can hopefully save money/focus on school/ etc. The downside is that you are not free to do whatever you like when it comes to changing their space. It is hard, but not getting them is the RIGHT thing to do. Some people don't like rats. You happen to be a tenant of someone who doesn't like rats.


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## jolyvette (Jan 13, 2014)

That said...sometimes landlords in any form (including parents) might be swayed by a deposit of some sort. If your Dad IS up for bargaining ask him and your mother what it would take. Money? You being in charge of some dreaded chore for the duration of your stay? This would only work if there was a glimmer of hope. It doesn't sound like they are willing to budge or bargain at this time though.  Sucks. I have been in a similar situation, and it was very hard.


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## Pilot. (Feb 11, 2014)

Im sorry to hear this hon  And you already bought them which is kind of putting you in the hole because your parents woudnt budge. Maybe you could keep them at a friends home for the time being until you get your own place? Or find them a new home? Im sorry


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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

OK- 

I asked one last time, and my dad yelled at me, so I guess the answer really is no :'( Thank you everyone for your advice and suggestions. I really appreciate it.


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## Pilot. (Feb 11, 2014)

iloverats24 said:


> OK- I asked one last time, and my dad yelled at me, so I guess the answer really is no :'( Thank you everyone for your advice and suggestions. I really appreciate it.


What are you gonna do with them?


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## Maddie (Jan 13, 2014)

Since it's over I won't chime in on this much, but I do think since your parents said no it wasn't the best plan to put them on hold anyway. When you live with your parents in your adult age or not you still live under their roof and have to go by their rules. I moved out when I was twenty one but spent years workign while in college saving up for my own place. My parents own a farm and we had tons of animals but inside animals were not really their thing. We had a house dog, and I had a rat (then a rabbit) or hamsters, but they always had to agree on what I could have. I couldn't just go out and get something because I wanted to have it. Even when I moved out (I don't know if you've ever lived away from your parents or not) most places would allow inside pets but not rats or hamsters (which is understandable honestly). We signed contracts and paid pet deposits on the animals we did have and it was always in the terms if we broke our pet agreement we could be booted from the place or charged more on our pet deposit.

It wasn't till this year when the wife and I bought our own place that I got the boys since I can have them in my own house. I know it's hard wanting something especially an adorable pet and not being able to have it, but I think it's unfair to your parents as well to try and force them to let you have them.


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## iloverats24 (Feb 19, 2014)

Pilot. said:


> What are you gonna do with them?


The owner of the pet store said he'd give me back 80% of what I paid for them (I paid just over $10, so that's fine with me). Let's just hope that they are bought by someone who knows and loves rats, and not someone who wants to feed them to their snake


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## Pilot. (Feb 11, 2014)

Oh well that's good I suppose! I'm sorry!


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## TNCraftyRat (Nov 13, 2013)

iloverats24 said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Thanks so much for all of your responses. It's not looking good
> 
> I had a big discussion with my dad last night, and I thought I had actually changed his mind. He asked me questions, he listened to what I had learned (both here and elsewhere). But when I asked if I could bring them home, he said "The answer is still no." I'm really at a loss here. I want him to come with me to the pet store to see them, but I doubt that that would ever happen. I told him about the cages (The cage my girls are in? No odor whatsoever. The males' cage? There was an odor, but it wasn't overpowering), and still nothing. I was at the pet store yesterday to see them, and I was talking to the owner and some of the employees, and they were telling me that it is probably a prejudicial thing against rats. I asked them questions about smell, escaping, etc, and the answers were just as I had suspected. If my dad could hear what they have to say, I bet his mind would change, or that he would at least give it some thought. But I don't think I can get him in there.


Still no luck? That is a bummer, it makes me sad for your rats who can't come home and be with their Momma. It is so weird that they let you have hamsters but will not let you have rats. Rats are way cooler than hamsters and fair more social.


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## jolyvette (Jan 13, 2014)

maybe try posting the location and need in the adoption forum?


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