# Overwhelmed-- just venting



## Tesumph (Aug 12, 2014)

So. I'm the kinda person who hates being the center of attention, and loves routine. This weekend just gone was an absolute nightmare. I mean, I've literally had a nightmare about it. My absolute worst fears (hospitals, being flooded with homework, strangers touching me, lots of people being concerned with my wellbeing) have come true all at once. On Thursday I went to the doctor, Friday I had an MRA, then Friday night the stupid doctor panicked and my parents rushed me to hospital. I ended up staying overnight because they thought my brains blood vessels were swelling? I got a freaking spinal tap and had an IV and everything. It was horrible. Even typing this is making my head spin. The hospital recommended another MRA and a follow up with specialists, but for reasons I won't go into, my parents decided to cut ties with doctors about the issue. I'm doing fine now, minimal headaches (the reason I went to the doctor) and all that. I'm dizzy from the medication (amitriptyline), but it works so whatever. The thing is, people won't leave me alone about it. Hospital was so traumatic and everytime someone calls or texts or pulls me aside to ask how I'm doing (it was a big deal, everyone on FB and in my school was praying //sigh) I feel like I'm reliving the trauma and I just want to yell at them to leave me alone. Just treat me like you've always treated me, geez. And because I missed a whole week of school, I now have a crapton of physics to catch up on, and math tests that I don't have time for. If that isn't enough, I had the freaking PSAT yesterday and got nothing done besides that. And the icing on the cake: all the animals have gone mad. Seriously, five or so days of other people taking care of the dogs and rats (theyre the only problematic ones right now) and you'd think I'd been gone a year. The dogs are infested with fleas! Like wtf?! I had to brush them all down, dust them, medicate them, and clean their beds on time I DONT HAVE! And the rats have apparently lost their marbles. Seemingly overnight they discovered how to pull up the fleece, so every time I go to their cage Ezio and Navi are stuck under the fleece and I have to unclip the whole thing to get them out and scold them. Bigby apparently forgot how to use a litter box, and Midna nipped me for no reason last night, like she forgot I was alpha rat or something. Holy crap. I'm so overwhelmed. I also have family from Australia over who aren't helping. My 3 year old cousin is here with my aunt. Oh my goodness. My aunt doesn't believe in discipline, not even when the little demon is screaming at the top of her lungs for her iPad (WHY DOES A THREE YEAR OLD OWN AN IPAD) or sitting on my poor 6 year old brother (she's a fat little brat). I swear, if that was me, my mom wouldn't whacked my a** so hard. I'm just so done. I'm trying to hold out until Monday (when all my homework is due) and I'm telling myself everything will be back to normal then. I just want people to stop asking how I am, and I want to be caught up in my school (straight A student, and I don't want to lose that), and I want my relatives to be gone and the animals to behave. My poor 7 year old dog has the worst of the fleas, and I feel horrible leaving him in the garage (he's my best friend, I know that sounds weird but idgaf right now), and his athritis is playing up. Ugh. Stupid phone doesn't leave page breaks. I can't be bothered to read over this for typos. I don't normally rant, but my anxiety is through the roof (I work myself up to the point of throwing up sometimes) and I just needed to share all this with people who don't know me. There. Done. I need chocolate or something.


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## PawsandClaws (Jul 22, 2014)

I am not sure if you are seeking advice but you should really discuss your difficulties with a school mentor or something. They can cut you some slack in terms of your school responsibilities and make it easier on you in that sense. It is worth a try if you are feeling overwhelmed and is nothing to feel ashamed of. When my grandmother passed away (after losing a year long fight with cancer) whilst I was in the middle of exam season, I did not go and seek help and it really affected my grades. I went from being an A student to outright failing classes I excelled at only a couple of months ago. I really wish that I knew there was an opportunity to go in and tell someone that I was having a hard time so that they would be more understanding. I know you do not want to be dealing with even more prying people but it might help get at least one worry off your mind. I am sorry you are having such a hard time, life sucks sometimes. I get anxious to the point that I am sick too, it isn't fun. I hope you know that things will eventually fall back into place, they always do. Sounds cheesy as **** but it really does work out that way. Wishing you the best of luck.


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## Mrs.Brisby (Jan 4, 2014)

Geez that all sounds so overwhelming. I don't want to sound like your overly concerned facebook friends but i hope you feel better soon. Stay strong! Take a deep breath, eat lots of chocolate (chocolate makes everything better), just tell everyone that you feel like being alone. I'm sure they would understand.


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## ksaxton (Apr 20, 2014)

Whoa, that sounds crazy! We all definitely get those times where you're just like screw this, and you want to grab your stuff and just disappear for the day alone and clear your head. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day I come home and my rats just piss me off by causing even more problems I don't have the energy to deal with, so I understand your frustration. It sounds like you could really use some stress relief, maybe take some time and just go somewhere alone and don't worry about anything else that's going on. Bring your homework, turn off your cell phone, and just work in peace


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## Tesumph (Aug 12, 2014)

Actually, I'm homeschooled but go to public classes every Monday. I missed last Monday, hence why I have so much catchup work. It's a very nice little school/co-op thing, and EVERYONE knows what happened and that I was in hospital and all that, including my teachers. So they have cut me a bit of slack, mostly my physics teacher, but there's still more than usual work for me to do. It's also harder because of relatives disrupting the normal schedule, and I'm getting random dizzy spells where I feel like I've just huffed some low quality drug. It's not even a high, just a "wtf is going on" feeling. I prefer that to a constant 7-10 pain level headache, but it still interferes with schoolwork. So as far as getting slack in school, I've got as much as I can get. It's still more than usual, though. I guess it's even worse because I REALLY like routine. I hate summer and vacations because it's not "normal." Just a month or two ago (before the headaches got really bad) everything was fine and dandy. Then bam, Thursday it went to ****. I just gotta collect myself and wait another week or two and then it'll be fine.


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## Tesumph (Aug 12, 2014)

And going somewhere alone sounds like a good idea. I've pretty much been holed up in my room, but tomorrow I might take all my books and go to the horse trail and work in the quiet outdoors. I'm a very introverted person, and people prying (I know they have good intentions) is insanely stressful for me. This morning my mom asked how I felt and I snapped at her and said something along the lines of "stop asking, I feel fine." I surprised myself and apologized but ugh... Idfk. As for the chocolate, yea, that's pretty much been half my diet.  I'm dreading Monday when all the homeschool moms are gonna flood me with questions. I don't have a problem with telling my friends to piss off or leave me alone about it, but I can't exactly be rude to a bunch of homeschool christian soccer moms.


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