# I am so angry at my boyfriend's hospital...



## Shine

So my boyfriend George and I have recently moved in together, and with that, as one would expect, comes a mixing of pets and pet responsibilities. He loves my pets like they are his, and I love his pets like they are mine.

Well, technically, only one of his pets really belongs to him (Pepper the snake), but there is a dog named Smoke who has been up for adoption at the place where George works for a really long time, and during all this time of caring for Smoke, George has formed a strong emotional bond with him and wants very much to adopt him.

We were just informed yesterday that there is a problem with this. Now that George is living with me and my pets, we have to follow the hospital's rules for him getting the dog, which includes that there must be no intact animals in the household.

Yes, that's right. Unless I want to prevent my boyfriend from adopting the dog he loves, I must be forced to get my pets neutered against my will. I HATE this. It makes me so angry I don't know what to do with myself. I have always been against non-consensual surgeries on any person or animal unless in emergency situations. There is no reason for my cat to be neutered, and I feel that I would be violating his rights to do so. That's not even mentioning that the hospital, by demanding this, is denying me MY rights as a pet owner to make personal decisions regarding my pets' health. 

I was already pissed that when I took him to get his vaccinations they charged me $20 extra for him not being neutered, but now they go and pull this bullshit! Ever since I got the news I've been feeling sick and on the verge of crying, but I feel like I have no choice but to go through with it, because denying George and Smoke the opportunity to be together would be just as cruel...

Mr. Cat's appointment is scheduled for tomorrow morning, and I told George that I have to go with him so that I can talk to the vets beforehand and make it perfectly clear that I am not okay with what they are doing and that I will sue the **** out of them if my cat has ANY negative side affects after his surgery.

What makes it even worse is that I know I can't feed him 24 hours before surgery, and every time he meows at me for food, my heart breaks just a little bit more...


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## RedFraggle

I don't understand. Sorry. But on what basis can a hospital dictate animals in the house need to be nuetered.


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## Tedology

RedFraggle said:


> I don't understand. Sorry. But on what basis can a hospital dictate animals in the house need to be nuetered.


Especially animals of a different species.


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## Shine

This is exactly my point. There is literally NO reason for this to even be a thing. Mr. Cat's balls do not in any way affect Smoke the dog. I think the hospital is just really anti-intact (hence the extra charge for an intact register) and will use any excuse they can to force all animals to be neutered. It makes me sick.

I mean, even though I'm anti-spay/neuter, I'm not one of those people who will try to make other pet people feel bad for getting theirs done, and I don't go around shoving my opinion down other people's throats. I just don't want to get any of MY pets spayed or neutered, and it pisses me off that this establishment is trying to force my hand. :I


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## Shine

Sorry, I made a mistake in my original post. I can't feed him 12 hours before surgery. I don't know why I said 24...

It still breaks my heart, though. :c


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## Aeyna

I used to feel the same way about my cats (all girls, why spay, right?) but then my cat almost died because she wasn't spayed. Her uterus got infected, and the cure was to spay her. She had less than a ten percent chance of surviving that surgery, and I'm very lucky to have her with me. While I totally respect you for not putting your animals through surgery that they don't need, I don't know what I would have done if my cat had died because I hadn't spayed her. As it is, she had to go through a very long recovery, which would have been avoided if I had just spayed her when she was a kitten. 

When it comes to my rats, if I neutered the boys, they could live with the girls (and be less aggressive with each other?), and if I spayed the girls they might live longer and avoid tumors. I don't have the cost to alter 7 rats (we're talking thousands of dollars), but I do from time to time wonder if they would live better lives altered. 

That being said, this decision should be yours, not theirs, and I believe what they are doing is wrong. It's not like you are trying to adopt an unaltered female cat. You aren't adding to the homeless pet problem, and therefore they need to mind their own business.


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## Shine

Yes, THANK YOU!

Also, I understand that female animals are often prone to uterine cancer and other female-specific diseases, but I've recently done some research and found that there is actually very little health benefit to neutering male cats. Of course, it removes the entire possibility of testicular and testosterone-related diseases, but those diseases are actually very uncommon in cats. The only real reason that male cats are neutered is for population control, really, and that is not even an issue for my cat, because we have to keep him in the house and away from other cats anyway. (He was recently diagnosed with a blood disease that can be passed through scratches and saliva, and we don't want him getting into a fight or something and spreading it.)


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## RedFraggle

Still confused, lol, forgive me, is it an animal hospital your boyfriend works at? Not a people hospital your boyfriend is a patient at?


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## Shine

RedFraggle said:


> Still confused, lol, forgive me, is it an animal hospital your boyfriend works at? Not a people hospital your boyfriend is a patient at?


 Yes. He works at an animal hospital, and they have animals for adoption. He's waited forever to adopt this dog that he's been caring for (a healthy dog, btw. He's only at the hospital to be adopted, not because he's sick), and now they're telling him about this hospital policy that he didn't know about despite working there for so long...


By the way, I apologize for not making that clear before. I was typing while distracted and didn't notice that I'd left out some information.


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## artgecko

I would go there and talk to the practice owner personally. I would emphasize that 1. It is your animal and technically, if you are not married, animals are not considered joint property (i.e. it is not legally his cat). also 2. That they have no right to enforce this on you (the cat's owner) since you will not be adopting the dog. and 3. That you object to neutering due to health risks for your animal.

If that still doesn't jive with them. I would by all means get this done at another practice to ensure that they do not financially benefit from it. If you feel that strongly about this, I wouldn't have it done.


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## RedFraggle

Ah, I get it now. It's a ridiculous rule when they are different species!


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## Fraido

I see a great benefit to neutering a male cat; they often spray! Spraying is honestly like, the worst. If it gets on your furniture, like your couch, I don't know if you'll ever get rid of that smell! 
I'm sure you probably know that already, though.
But, perhaps the hospital is worried about an intact animal's hormones kicking off and attacking the dog? Yeah, I donno.


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## Phantom

My dog is intact and she has never had an issue. My parents are anti-spay and neuter unless we have more than one dog of the opposite gender or any of our animals were to have territorial or behavioral problems. I neuter my male rats because I also have female rats, and back when my boyfriend and I had cats they were neutered because we didn't want to them become aggressive towards one another or spray and mark the house.


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## Tao.and.Laughter

I think I'm confused by the hospital's reasoning - Have they giving any certain, SPECIFIC examples, as in bullet point "This is exactly why" reasons for why they require this?

I admit, having had male cats all my life (and dealing with spraying even after having them fixed, so I didn't see a difference there), but they were also indoor/outdoor cats so we had reasons for having them clipped, I'm all for altering, but I see your side of it. 

Plus, as previously mentioned, what the heck does it matter if they're different species? Are we expecting a litter of cappies? Puttens?


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## Daize

Perhaps it's the number of animals you have that's causing them to require that all pets in the home are spayed/neutered. 

I know the Humane Society, where we are, won't let you adopt unless you agree to spay/neuter the animal you're adopting. Also, if you already have 2 or more animals and they're not spayed/neutered, they won't allow you to adopt. If you can show proof they've been spayed/neutered, then you'll be allowed to adopt from them. It's just their policy and a way they hope will cut back on unwanted pets in shelters. 

With the millions of animals that are put to death, each year.... I can understand why many places might have a spay/neuter policy. 

So, if you choose to adopt Smoke, you'll have to comply with their policy. 

Also, many places give discounts for vaccinations if your pet is spayed/neutered. There's also discounts on registration of pets that are spayed/neutered. So, you're probably not being charged "more". You're probably just not getting the "discount".


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## Shine

artgecko said:


> I would go there and talk to the practice owner personally. I would emphasize that 1. It is your animal and technically, if you are not married, animals are not considered joint property (i.e. it is not legally his cat). also 2. That they have no right to enforce this on you (the cat's owner) since you will not be adopting the dog. and 3. That you object to neutering due to health risks for your animal.
> 
> If that still doesn't jive with them. I would by all means get this done at another practice to ensure that they do not financially benefit from it. If you feel that strongly about this, I wouldn't have it done.


I went and talked to the vet today and explained all of my concerns. First of all, he told me the reason for the rule is that the board feels having intact animals is not responsible pet ownership (his direct words were "they're not being taken care of"), but when I explained that the cat is mine and the dog would be George's, he kind of backed off a little bit. He said the hospital still has this policy regarding all animals in the household but that it was generally assumed all animals in the household would be under joint ownership. He also said he would not be the one making the final decision and that George would have to speak with someone else about getting the dog.

Aside from the dog issue, he still tried to convince me that it would be in my cat's best interest to be neutered, and we had a long discussion on the subject in which he explained that because of my cat's condition (he's positive for feline leukemia but doesn't show any symptoms or signs of illness) he may be prone to urinary tract infections if he remains intact. He did relent and admit that testicular cancer is not that big of an issue for cats, but because of the UTI possibility still recommends the neuter.

In conclusion, I still haven't fully decided, but I think if I do start to see any type of health issues, I will consent for the cat's health.


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## Shine

Fraido said:


> I see a great benefit to neutering a male cat; they often spray! Spraying is honestly like, the worst. If it gets on your furniture, like your couch, I don't know if you'll ever get rid of that smell!
> I'm sure you probably know that already, though.
> But, perhaps the hospital is worried about an intact animal's hormones kicking off and attacking the dog? Yeah, I donno.


1. Human convenience is not an acceptable excuse for operating on an animal.
2. My cat does not spray and has zero aggressive tendencies.
3. The people at the clinic already know my cat (from when he went in to get his vaccines) and know that he is a super chill dude with no behavioral issues.


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