# Pre dog adoption anxiety...?



## BlackAce (Apr 18, 2013)

Hey guys, this is the third time I've written this. I think I just have horrible luck with technology fails or something! But anyways, I basically wanted to say that my boyfriend and I have been excited for a long time to adopt a dog. It's a decision we take very seriously, and feel we will be ready once we get settled in after moving. Right now we are living with my boyfriend's mom, as we are waiting for an apartment to come available. His mom has an older dog that has a mean streak...to put it nicely.

This dog's behavior is so shocking to me partly because my family's dogs never exhibited behavior like this and I can't imagine how I'd feel if they did. In the couple months I've been staying here I've seen her lunge, pin down, and bite my boyfriend's mom because the dog had a napkin she was trying to get. So she's aggressive towards her own family, but also towards men, children, and other dogs. Because of this her owner (boyfriend's mom) is afraid to let her around anyone else so she's only ever interacted with my boyfriend, his mom, and myself in the past few years. She's possessive of anything in her vicinity so she has also lunged, growled, and bared her teeth at me. Luckily she hasn't bitten me yet, but I see her to be unpredictable and am honestly afraid of this happening in the future. She has attacked my boyfriend for correcting her a couple of weeks ago, which was also concerning and sad for me to watch (although I obviously intervened). I don't feel it's my place to try and "fix her" since my boyfriend's mom sees nothing wrong with it, and doesn't correct her, but I suspect it's really because she's afraid of her.

I'm now questioning if I'm ready for a dog all over again because I'm thinking what if this happens to me? How would I handle this situation? Maybe my family's experience with our dogs, who had never so much as growled at us in our time together, isn't the common experience. I know this is my anxiety talking, but has anyone had similar thoughts? How did you overcome this way of thinking?


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## Gribouilli (Dec 25, 2015)

Dogs need to be trained. Without training they can be nightmares to put it mildly. Do you know dog training/can you do it yourself? OR are you comfortable spending $1,000+ on dog training? If yes, then you should be ok. The breed of dog you pick is also very important. Don't pick a dog just because she/he is cute. Research the breed carefully.


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## artgecko (Nov 26, 2013)

Sounds like your boyfriend's mom needs to contact a professional trainer... I am assuming this is a large dog and probably a working / guarding breed (rott, pitt, german shepherd, mastiff, bully breed, akita, etc. maybe?) 

It is very very important to know what you are getting into with a dog. The different breeds had original purposes and drives to go with them. Some breeds, specifically the working/ guarding breeds tend to be more dominant (they want to be the "boss" so to speak) than other breeds... This increases the drive for them to protect / guard, which is good, but it also means that you have to establish yourself as a firm but fair leader early on and do lots of training to make sure the dog understands this.. It means lots of work. 

All breeds can have dominant dogs in them, some are just more prone to it. If you are adopting a dog, it is best to know the background of that dog, the breed make up, where it came from, if it was abused, etc. Being as this is your first dog, I would go with a smaller / medium sized breed.. maybe an older adult with good manners (owner surrender due to age, etc.) or a puppy that does not show dominant or fearful traits and then work with a trainer that uses a range of methods to fit the dog... you want primarily positive based training (i.e. clicker training) but also a trainer that will use different methods depending on what the dog needs. 

Check out this link to a good temperament test that breeders use on puppies to evaluate their dogs. 

It may also be wise to look into a breed-specific rescue or buy from a reputable breeder once you find the right breed for you. Remember to evaluate how active of a dog you want, how vocal (not very if you live in an apt.), how much grooming you want to do, if you will have a cat or other small animals, etc. 

Although this may not be the right fit for you, consider adopting a retired greyhound... They are quiet, short-haired, and are used to being handled by many people.. They are naturally not aggressive to humans, but some will chase small dogs or cats. Many greyhound rescues will adopt to people in apartments and they often do "meet and greets" with the public. Honestly, if I didn't need a dog for guarding purposes I would go greyhound all the way. They can still be trained but are more cat-like, so might make a good option for your first dog (if you want a larger dog). Whippets are a good medium-sized sighthound that is usually calm and quiet as well. here is a link to a greyhound rescue in your state. Cavaliers and pugs can also be good choices for apartment livers... They do not usually bark a lot and stay pretty small. But again, all depends on the individual dog... Do your homework and look at a lot of dogs. Work with a good trainer and pick the right dog for you. If you don't think you want to put hours and hours of training in, a cat might be a better option (but again, you have to pick the right cat, as there are plenty of aggressive / defensive ones in shelters, etc.).


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