# How do I begin to cope with this?



## Houdini (Sep 17, 2012)

It's been exactly one week since my sweet boy Casper has crossed the rainbow bridge. It's taken me a week to be able to sit down and write this out without completely breaking down. This is too much for me to handle, this is a totally new feeling of grief, and I have no idea how to cope. This is my first rat loss, and I knew it was going to be hard.. But I never thought it'd be this difficult. It's as if I've lost a child, I find myself constantly searching and longing for him. 

I come home from work and check on everyone, and still expect to see him waiting patiently at the cage door to be let out and loved on. I find it impossible to concentrate on work and school. I genuinely believe I've fallen into a depression over this. It sounds silly, doesn't it? This grief is almost too much to bear, and I just cannot imagine losing any more. These rats really dig themselves deep into your heart, and saying goodbye is impossible. 

Casper, you were the most loving fur ball I've ever met, and I'm so greatful to have had the pleasure of owning you. You died in my arms, being snuggled and gently talked to. I hope that I was able to help you cross peacefully. I hope you know how much I love you, and think about you. I'll see you again, and I look forward to it. Rest easy, you deserve it. I wish there was a way to make this hurt go away. Thanks for reading, I'm a blubbering mess and needed to get everything out in writing.


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## cagedbirdsinging (May 28, 2012)

So sorry for your loss. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but it just doesn't.


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## Andyurgay (Jun 10, 2013)

I'm so sorry hun.. Its a new pain that most pet owners dont even know. These little buggers just plant themselves in your heart and are gone too soon. The best you can do is remember the good times you had with him and realize, he had an amazing life. And you gave that to him.


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## Click (May 20, 2014)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hold onto those happy memories of your time together.


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## Hey-Fay (Jul 8, 2013)

Oh darlin, I am so so sorry. Over time the pain dulls but it never completely goes away. He knew he was loved and he loved you in return.


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## abratforarat (Jan 12, 2014)

So, so sorry for your loss! Keep steady and relax. Think of all the good times he had and the great life you gave him


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## DustyRat (Jul 9, 2012)

Very sad news


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## aimleigh (Feb 7, 2014)

Aw sweet, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through. Can't imagine ever loosing any of mine. Hope your feeling better soon. You gave him a good amazing life so be happy you got to raise him and watch him grow. R.I.P Casper.


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## Houdini (Sep 17, 2012)

Thank you everyone for your kind words and sympathies. Today was rough, I went out to his grave and placed some fresh azaleas on the site. I found peace in gently talking to him and feeling the warm sun on my body. 

I'm slowly moving forward, I still search for him, and long to kiss his pink nose, but I can feel the progression of this grief. I gave all my rats extra treats and loving tonight, and it reminded me that although their time with us is short, it filled with so much love and happiness. 


This post has really helped me, and the kind words from the rat community help me feel like I'm not alone in this. I appreciate everything, thank you all so much.


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## Rat Daddy (Sep 25, 2011)

I miss every rat we've had that's passed away with every last shard of my heart. The pain doesn't go away but the happy memories of the good times on happier days eventually blends with the pain and mellows into a fine wine complex with the sweet taste of love and the dryness of loss. To love and be loved completely... it never gets better or worse than that...


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## Rob&Beth (Aug 5, 2013)

It doesn't sound silly... it is natural to feel that way but as others have said, in time it's the happy memories you'll return to when your mind drifts back to him.


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