# i am so sad. :[



## jellybeanqueen (Sep 6, 2007)

i am crying right now.
i was supposed to get my rats tomorrow, but my mom went CRAZY and she..prohibited me from getting them.
she says they bite, and they'll chew everything and all that.
my mom says the rats will "leap for your throat" and "you can't catch them if you let them run free".
she talked to a lady who was selling us a cage, and that woman told her that her rats bit her kids so she had to get rid of them.
HER KIDS WERE UNDER TEN. SHE WAS AT WORK ALL DAY.
THEY WEREN'T SOCIALIZED.
i hate her, so so much.
she says i can have a hamster.
i can't believe it.
i'm crushed. :[


----------



## Forensic (Apr 12, 2007)

Take a deep breath, you do not hate her. :roll: 

You're mad at her, that's different. Give it a little while to blow over. A week or so.

Then ask again, politely, and show her a book or website that states that rats are not, in fact, rabid, nasty creatures.


----------



## jellybeanqueen (Sep 6, 2007)

Forensic said:


> Take a deep breath, you do not hate her. :roll:
> 
> You're mad at her, that's different. Give it a little while to blow over. A week or so.
> 
> Then ask again, politely, and show her a book or website that states that rats are not, in fact, rabid, nasty creatures.


fine, i inttensely dislike her.
you guys don't understand.
she is a very close minded person, not like othe rmoms at all.
she did read a book about rats and she said the author tried to make seem rats seem more "gentle" than they are.
all of you who have rats, consider yourselves lucky.
i guess i'm going to sit in my room for a while and think about how crap my life is. 
i'm sorry if i seem over dramatic, but i am a teen and these are my feelings.


----------



## DFW_Rat_Luvr (Aug 29, 2007)

Dont lose hope!

I am a mom of 2 teens and I USED to be a person that was scared to death of rats and thought they were scary and mean. And I felt that way about ALL rodents, not just rats. Hamsters and gerbils scared the crap out of me and even rabbits and squirrels made my skin crawl.

I now have 10 ratties of my own and would get 10 more in a heartbeat. As I am writing this, I have my 3 favorite boys crawling ALL over me lol.

What changed me is that one day my daughter brought a rattie home and as I was yelling at her for doing so, I saw its sweet little eyes and whiskers. All my fear melted away at that moment and I was hooked. From that moment, I became fascinated and I couldnt learn enough about these wonderful little creatures. I spend more time daily than I ought to researching as much as I can just so I can make sure that my ratties are as happy and healthy as possible.

I was the absolute worst when it came to non-tolerance of rodents, and now I cant get enough of them. 

So dont give up hope - if I could change, ANYONE can.

Good Luck!


----------



## jellybeanqueen (Sep 6, 2007)

DFW_Rat_Luvr said:


> Dont lose hope!
> 
> I am a mom of 2 teens and I USED to be a person that was scared to death of rats and thought they were scary and mean. And I felt that way about ALL rodents, not just rats. Hamsters and gerbils scared the crap out of me and even rabbits and squirrels made my skin crawl.
> 
> ...


thank you.
but i'm sure my mom won't change.
i wish anyone was my mom except her.
i can convince ANYONE rats are cute & lovely EXCEPT her.
she ruins it all.


----------



## Mana (Apr 22, 2007)

When I turned 15, I wanted a rat really badly. My parents told me I could get a pet for my birthday (something small and caged), so I did tons of research into all types of small animals, and decided that a rat would be the best pet. My mom told me flat-out I could not have a rat. She would not let one into the house, and if I brought one in anyway she would throw it outside. I felt like you did, I was so upset at her, and thought she was a horrible person for not even giving them a chance. I ended up getting a guinea pig instead, and he was wonderful! I wouldn't have given him up for anything 

You're upset at your mom right now, and I understand that completely. But she's not a horrible person, and trust me, there are plenty of worse mothers out there you could have gotten stuck with instead! Just give *yourself* some time to cool off, so you can talk to her rationally and reasonably about it. Invite her to join or at least read this forum. She can ask about rats and what they're like, and voice the concerns she has and get answers to her questions about them.

By the way, it was 7 years later before I finally got my first pair of rats (last spring) - even if you can't get any now, you'll be able to someday! You won't have to live with your mom forever, someday it'll be you making the decisions for yourself, so it's definitely not the end of the world if your mom won't change her mind ^_^


----------



## lilspaz68 (Feb 24, 2007)

By the way you are much more likely to get bitten by the hamster than a rat.

Sorry to hear this 

How old are you?

Btw it may be a small good thing because rats need vet funds and vet care and it sure sounds like your mom is not going to provide it for them.  You might've ended up watching you much-wanted pets die horrible deaths because of it. 

and books on rats are very antiquated now, GOOD websites and good forums are the best places to learn.


----------



## Hippy (Jul 23, 2007)

lilspaz68 said:


> Btw it may be a small good thing because rats need vet funds and vet care and it sure sounds like your mom is not going to provide it for them.  You might've ended up watching you much-wanted pets die horrible deaths because of it.


Good LORD! 8O


----------



## Poppyseed (Feb 1, 2007)

Oh, it happens Hippy. ALLL the time ):


----------



## sonoma (May 26, 2007)

jellybeanqueen said:


> you guys don't understand.
> she is a very close minded person, not like othe rmoms at all.


You've never met my mom! It's her way or the highway...anyone who doesn't agree with her 150% is mental. 

It makes it difficult to get along with her at times, to say the least. :lol:

You had your mom convinced once, you just have to do it again. Sit down and have a rational talk with her. Tell her how much the rats mean to you and try work out some kind of compromise. 

Do you know anyone with a pet rat? I bet it would help to have her actually meet a rat in person.


----------



## jellybeanqueen (Sep 6, 2007)

Sonoma said:


> jellybeanqueen said:
> 
> 
> > you guys don't understand.
> ...


aw, i feel better after reading all your posts. :]
and your mom does sound like my mom..lol. my mom's so old fashioned you wouldn't believe it. :lol: 
i don't think i'll be getting my ratties anytime soon, though. since the woman with the cage got ticked off that i wasn't coming to get it after days and days of figuring out a plan for us to meet. it took me weeks to find a cage big enough that i could afford. :[
my mom won't listen to me. i've tried to be reasonable, i promised her that i would do all the cage cleaning & pay for the food, bedding, etc. expenses myself.
i told her if i didn't hold my end of the bargain, i'd take the rats back to the breeder.
but she doesn't care.
one negative opinion was all it took to convince her that rats are AWFUL pets. it doesn't matter what all the other rat owners who TRULY understand what rats are like say.
she says i can get a hamster (OR ANY OTHER RODENT TYPE ANIMAL, FOR THAT MATTER. EXCEPT RATS!) because she knows what hamsters are like.
so do i.
they sleep all day and don't particularly care whether you're there or not.
i guess they're cute, but that's about it.
oh well. 
i believe in karma and all that, so this must have happened for a reason. something good will come out of this..i hope.


----------



## sonoma (May 26, 2007)

Hey, you never know, she may change her mind. Every once in a great while I can get my mom to admit she was wrong. :roll: :lol: 

I believe in karma too, you'll get your ratties, just later rather than sooner. :wink: 

I'm not big on hamsters either. Bitey 'lil things. I think if I had to pick any rodent besides rats, I'd go with mice. I was looking at some mice at Petsmart, and they were soooo cute and seemed really interested in me. They kept coming up to the front of their tank to check me out.


----------



## Poppyseed (Feb 1, 2007)

Yeah I was checking out the mice too >_> I'm going to get a couple some day, not for a while though. I think it would be so cute to have a cage of mice running wheels and digging in bedding!

Not too personable, but they are definitely fun to watch and with time you can get them to climb onto your hand. 

I also had a guinea pig once and they are very cuddly. Of course I know now they are better in twos and he should of had SOOO MUCH more room than he already had. Basically a whole large table turning into a cage plus out time every day. I wish I could of given him all of that but I was young and stupid and my dumb parents didn't help ): We didn't have internet pet forums back then and pet books were of no help.


----------



## Holly (Dec 31, 2006)

Would it change anything in your mom's mind if you kept your rats and their home in your room, completely out of her sight, and she never even had to encounter them?

My mother is afraid of rats, but as long as the cage is in my room, and I care for them, she's willing to let me have them.

After getting to "know" them a little, she even says that they are "cute" - as long as they are in the cage.

------------------------------

I don't know if this will work in your case, but in my case, I just kept bringing the idea up every once in awhile, and eventually, my mom came around to letting me have one, and then two. I wouldn't be pushy, or anything, but just every once in awhile, I'd mention it. I'd include the pros and the cons, as well, so that she wouldn't think I was only seeing one side of it. Over TIME, she was able to see that I was truly serious about wanting a rat, and that it wasn't going to go away.

For example, I might say, "I read about a pet rat that was running loose around the room, and chewed through a cable. He's lucky he didn't get electrocuted, but still, now the family has to replace that cable. _ Of course, rats shouldn't be running around loose in rooms with wires and other dangerous things. I know that I'd never let my rat get away with something like that."_

Then drop the subject for a week or two. But ~do~ refer to "your rat" - best to start by referring to one, even if you plan to get two - so that, over time, your mom will see that you are truly serious about having a rat, and that you do plan to have a rat someday, even if someday is when you move out of her house.

She knows you're on a rat forum, right? This can be a good place where you "read" about "no-no's" that you can discuss with her:

"I'd never let ~my~ rat's cage get messy. It's not healthy for them."

"I can't believe that [fill in a name] feeds her rat a seed mix, when rat blocks are so much healthier. I'd only ever give ~my~ rat the blocks as a staple diet, so he could be as healthy as possible."

And so on.

OR, tell good stories! "I just met a lady on the rat board, and she never liked rats until her daughter brought one home. NOW, she has ten, and they all know their names, and come when you call them! Isn't that darling? They must be so smart!"

Maybe you could tell some stories about rats on the board, to "show off" their personalities...just in passing conversation, y'know. I tell everyone about Noah the rat. "Can you believe that he won't eat the same flavor jello twice in two days? This is a really spoiled boy, but he's so darling and cuddly."

It's difficult to mount an argument against you, when all you're doing is passing along truthful stories that you've read at the rat forum. It's only making conversation, after all...not arguing.

I encourage you to stay on the forum...there are so many cute stories to share...and photos, too! I posted one here in "General" that is entitled (something like,) "Brave Rat Conquers Feline." It's a picture of a rat who "caught" a kitten. SO cute! You might invite your mom to look at this, and other cute pictures. DO NOT say, "I want a rat," at this time; rather, just use it as an opportunity for the two of you to share and enjoy a darling photo.

The key with this whole approach is not to come on too strong. It's not head-to-head fighting. It's just conversation. Don't let emotions get heated up over rats. Just have it be a casual thing that you mention from time to time. Pretend that she never said anything about you not having rats, and that you are, definitely going to get rats...it's just a question of when. If she takes the hard stance, and says, "I told you, NO RATS," just play it cool, and say, "Oh, I know. I just thought I'd share this with you, since I have friends on the rat board."

And, y'know what? Even if she NEVER comes around to the idea of rats, you WILL still get your rats, someday, so it doesn't hurt to talk as though you're going to have them, because you ARE...someday.

-------------------------------------

Someone asked if you know anyone with a pet rat. If you do, maybe you could work something out with them where, when they "go out of town," (wink wink,) you could "babysit" their rats, say, over a long weekend. If you do this a few times, your mom might see for herself how wonderful they are. I've always maintained that the best way to get people to like rats, is to let the rats convince them. (Don't know if this idea will work for you, but I'm trying to think of everything that I can.)

Do you have other pets? At the very least, when you go to the pet store to buy supplies for them, bring Mom along, and walk with her past the rats. Point out how cute and loving they are. While you're at the store, ask someone who works there, "Do you have much problems with the rats biting?" They will of course, respond, "The rats almost never bite, but the hamsters can get a bit nippy."

----------------------------------

This is all I can think of right now, but if you truly want rats, then don't settle for the hamster. Think of this as "the rat project," and slowly, slowly work on getting your rats home.

Hope that something here helps.


----------



## Lunachick (Aug 15, 2007)

I agree with Holly. That's what I did. My mom said "No rats" at first. I thought she was being close-minded. But with a few casual conversations here and there, plus some cute pics as proof that rats are awesome pets, the pros and cons, etc, she relented. Arguing and crazy emotional outbursts do not help 
Don't settle for a hamster!


----------



## Barbiie (Sep 8, 2007)

Well last week i fell in love with the college rats in my course i thought OMG i have to have a rat! That evening i told my mum im getting a rat of course she started yelling saying no you are not so i left it at that any way that night i joined this forum and started picking up amazing facts about how good they are as a pet! I went downstairs and said im getting a rat wether you like it or not im buying everything for them and thats that of course i got my own way as usual lol im 16 and have quite a collection of diff kinds of pets and ive had a lot more in the past =] 

Just tell her about this forum and tell her you will make sure they wont bite mine are still new and nervous but not bitten me! (touch wood they dont!) lol im sure she will come round good luck! x


----------



## Squeak (Sep 4, 2007)

I had the same problem, as have many other people. My mum had the same reaction as yours, and at that moment I felt like I could just scream at her until I was lost in unconciousness from exhaustion. But over a period of time I begain saying something like, "Mum, did you know that rats are the most intelligent of all rodents?" even if she was in the middle of talking. I acted casual and like I wasn't really upset. After about 7 months (which seemed like 1 million years!) she finally began understanding how much I wanted this. She said, "If you can prove to me that you will be responsible and caring. If you will promise me that this will effect no one elses lives but yours." Okay, a little harsh, but hey, thats why I have rats today!
Good luck! Inform us on what happens!


----------



## Lesath (Jul 14, 2007)

My mother didn't allow me to have rats as a child. My parents were very big on the 'rodents are vermin' stand and insisted that while they paid good money to be sure rodents stayed out of our home there was NO WAY they'd allow me to just bring one of those nasty vile creatures into the house! She swore they'd bite, make me sick, get out and breed in the walls, chew through all the wires in the house, get into the cupboards and get into the food, etc. They taught me well that rats were the worst and never to get near them, etc. So that's what I believed for a long long time. My friends never had rats growing up. I had never been around one at all until about a year and a half ago.

In fact it took a while after we got our first pet rat before I was brave enough to even pet him, while my husband play wrestled with him, gave him kisses and scritches, etc. The whole time I can hear my mothers voice "rats are nasty vile creatures that will bite you and make you sick". 

Well anyway, I never did get to have a pet as a child (other than the family dog), so now I'm making up for it as an adult.  And when I have kids (someday, sigh) they will be allowed to have pets!


----------



## jellybeanqueen (Sep 6, 2007)

thanks, everyone!!
i can't really put how i feel into words, but you guys have REALLY helped me feel SO much better.
i'll keep working towards making my mom understand that rats are lovable..and i will do so by dropping random rat facts and talking about how cute, smart and friendly rats on this forum are, like you guys have suggested. i WILL NOT argue with her or whine and complain. i'll be the bigger person in all this.
and when i finally get my ratties (that day can't come too soon for me, lol!) i'll definitely post pics here and probably a story about how my mom fell in love with them, after all her efforts to not let me have them. ;]
THANKS AGAIN!


----------



## Holly (Dec 31, 2006)

If you keep us updated on how it goes, we promise to furnish you with plenty of Cute Rat Stories!


----------



## giddy4ratz (Sep 14, 2007)

Well, I dont have any ratties at all at the moment. But the first time I wanted them was about five years ago. Buuuut my mother was absolutely petrified of them. One of my friends mums daughters had rats and mum came to pick me up that day. I said to her, mainly cos I really wanted ratties, to come and see the rats. My friends mum went and got the girls out of the cage and stuck them on my mums shoulders. Of course my friends mum was still holding the girls cos my mum was screaming out of sheer horror and told her to take them off of her. But my friends mum said "no, just reach up and pat them," so she did and calmed right down but still had the fear of horror in her eyes.
We both got in the car to go home and my mum flat out said "dont you ever ever ask me to let you have a rat ever." She was disgusted by them. Anyway, I left it alone for a few weeks and neva bothered to ask her for any. But about a year later with patients and politeness and ALOT of research into them, I finally got rats.  

So hey, please, dont give up hope. Maybe you just need some patients and a little time. If you really dont want a hamster, then wait for the ratties, give it some patients and time! 

EDITTED: By the way, Mum thinks ratties are pretty darn cute now and friendly and loving :wink:


----------



## zimmyzam (Sep 9, 2007)

Well, I'm a lucky duck. All it took was a couple of pictures on the internet and some explaining of how great they are to convince mom they weren't horrible ucky sewer rats. But she STILLLLL doesn't want anything in the house except our cats.

It's already too late, though--project rodent has been launched. My dad got my little brother a hamster, and if everything is okey-dokey between the hamham and my cats and mom, then I shall get my rat ^^

And Barbiie, you lucky spoiled nut. I'd kill to have my parents let me keep whatever pets I want D=


----------



## Holly (Dec 31, 2006)

HOORAY!!!

Brother gets hamster, you get rat! I'd say it's a deal!


----------



## glindella (Sep 9, 2007)

My mom was hesitant to let me get my first boys. I actually got one, and I noticed he was really lonely (no really? :roll: ) and I asked my mom to go back the the pet store to get one of his brothers while I was at religion class. After class I got in the car and she handed me box with TWO rats in it! There were two left from the litter and the sales clerk told her that the one she didn't take would be left alone. So she bought both  

Wells, Altey and Atlus lived in my room for the first few months (my moms request, the tails freaked her out). Then they moved to the living room for the summer months and she spent a lot of time talking to them. When winter came and they moved back into my room she would come in every night to give each a banana chip  so long story short, they won her over (or maybe she was forced to get used to them when I *released* them onto her bed when she was reading...)


----------



## giddy4ratz (Sep 14, 2007)

glindella said:


> ...After class I got in the car and she handed me box with TWO rats in it! There were two left from the litter and the sales clerk told her that the one she didn't take would be left alone. So she bought both
> 
> Wells, Altey and Atlus lived in my room for the first few months (my moms request, the tails freaked her out). Then they moved to the living room for the summer months and she spent a lot of time talking to them. When winter came and they moved back into my room she would come in every night to give each a banana chip  so long story short, they won her over (or maybe she was forced to get used to them when I *released* them onto her bed when she was reading...)


Wooow how awesome is that  Lol! I bet your mum freaked when you released them onto the bed :wink: 

Great story


----------



## alex (Aug 14, 2007)

wen i was at home i was given a rat in a cage, i just took it home and my mum would not let me keep it, so i rehomed it via the vet. then i wanted a rabbit, she said no. so 1 night while she was sleepin, i put the hutch and rabbit in the garden, wen my mum woke she said, 'wat the **** is that in the garden'. i said our new rabbit. she huffed a bit, but then buit the shed out for the rabbit to live in and she came to love it more than me. i now have my own place but wen my mum comes round she always talks to the rats and she also has 3 rabbits of her own now!!! so she came round in the end, only took 10 years lol. with persuasion and proof that the animals mean no harm, ur mum will come round too. u need to prove that u r responsible enuff to look after them too so she doesnt think u will get bored of them and she would have to look after them for u! good luck


----------



## jellybeanqueen (Sep 6, 2007)

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
i was going to get a hamster tomorrow, 'cause i thought maybe if i start with something my mom's used to and take care of it really well, she'll open up to letting me have other rodents, i.e. rats.
so today my mom called the pet store and talked to them for a bit about the hammies, when OUT OF THE BLUE she asked about rats.
i just sat there stunned for a while, then i hoped against hope the person was saying good things.
my mom got off the phone and told me she had been talking to a girl who used to breed rats, and the girl had said very positive things about them.
my mom asked which are better, rats or hammies, and she said RATS. (obviously)
after all this, i was sure i had a guardian angel. :lol: 
so afterthat, the girl told my mom about a pet store in our area that sells ratties, and my mom's like "let's check out the rats before we get the hamster" and i'm like "SURE!!! I'D LOVE TO!!!!! =DD"
so. this story may just have a happy ending after all. (but i'm not gonna be surprised if i end up with a hamster...oh well, if seeing theircuteness in person won't convince her, doubt anything will!)
wish me luck.


----------



## zimmyzam (Sep 9, 2007)

LUCKLUCKLUCK! I shall send the luckfairy over to your house, because she doesn't seem to want to bring me any luck at the moment T.T Everything was going fine, and then I got a slight bit naggy, and mom got mad again >.< But I'm SOOOO IMPATIENT!!!!!


----------



## Forensic (Apr 12, 2007)

Prove to your Mum you're adult enough by being patient.


----------



## zimmyzam (Sep 9, 2007)

Oh, she knows I'm adult enough. I'm the most responsible of her kids-Tommy's 19, didn't give a flying poo about school or anything else but guistars and cars, and spends his money on the /stupidest/ stuff, and Harrison's 6, and he's just a physcho nutcase who has minor anger management problems, very possibly minor adhd o.o; I'm the wonderful, loving, caring, brilliant star child practically, in my parent's eyes.

Just, when I get obsessed...... I'm, well, kind of *obsessed*.

Take Zim, for example. Four years later and I'm still clawing at the windows in Hot Topic to get the newest Gir shirt.


----------



## Holly (Dec 31, 2006)

One of our regular posters had a beautiful, wonderful boy rat named Gir (RIP); yes, named after ~that~ Gir. Keep your eyes out for Gir stories. He was really wonderful.

----------------------------

JellyBean, hope you get your rats! Keep your fingers crossed.

Maybe it's none of my business, but your mom seems to put a lot of weight into what other people say. Someone says, "rats bite," and so rats are bad. Someone else used to be a rat breeder, and loves rats, and so now they're good.

The fact of the matter is that ~you~ had all of that info when you posted the post...or if you didn't, you could have found it here, where (obviously) you already were.

Maybe your mom "listens harder" if it comes from a different person. If you would like to invite her, feel free to start a thread on here for her, to ask and get answers to all of her rat questions/fears.

But in the meantime, just keep your thoughts focused: ratratratratrat. ratty-ratratrat.


----------



## Forensic (Apr 12, 2007)

Yes, well, all things come and all things go...

Though, even as a teen, Apathy was my callsign. :lol:


----------



## Holly (Dec 31, 2006)

It's OK, Forensic...

...you can be as apathetic as you want to, and I still don't care.


----------



## zimmyzam (Sep 9, 2007)

XD

Yes, they might. But to this day, if someone brings up the subject of ferrets, I still flip. Almost literally XP I want one so bad-but that's impossible. And now that I'm reading up about rats, which I actually might have a chance at getting, I'm wondering if I like them more than ferrets... Hnn.... (Still, nothing has yet to beat Zim. I've already got over $550 in zim stuff in four years of colecting, and can still rattle on random Zim facts whenever  )


----------



## Forensic (Apr 12, 2007)

Holly said:


> It's OK, Forensic...
> 
> ...you can be as apathetic as you want to, and I still don't care.










Oh good, cause I wouldn't want to have to get riled up or anything.


----------



## Holly (Dec 31, 2006)

Anyone who knows someone who thinks that rats might escape and breed in the walls...

...please see the post I just put up, "Gus has a sweet temper."


----------



## jellybeanqueen (Sep 6, 2007)

Holly said:


> One of our regular posters had a beautiful, wonderful boy rat named Gir (RIP); yes, named after ~that~ Gir. Keep your eyes out for Gir stories. He was really wonderful.
> 
> ----------------------------
> 
> ...


yeah, my mom is like that.
she values other peoples opinions more than mine, even if i'm saying the exact same thing they are. :roll: 
i'm turning 16 in october, but she treats me as if i were 10.
it's really annoying..but if she's willing to go look at rats, i'll take that opportunity! i'll show her how responsible i can be...
and i'll ask her if she wants to talk to you guys on this forum. :] thanks for wishing me luck, everyone!
i really hope my ratties come home tomorrow. <3
and if anyone else is in the same predicament, i wish you the best as well!


----------



## giddy4ratz (Sep 14, 2007)

Woooohoooooooooooooo! I am soooooo hoping you end up with those ratties. Best wishes to you! :wink:


----------

