# Doesn't like the boyfriend...



## LizLovesRats5 (Mar 28, 2007)

Okay, so another issue with the rescues (just posted about William) is that they don't like my boyfriend. Walter, the considerably more friendly of the two neutered rescues has been making great progress with me. In fact, today for the first time while he and his brother were out on the couch he climbed up onto my chest and snuggled down for a good skritch, then he marked me, LOL. Anyway, earlier today, my boyfriend went over to the cage, and the top was open cause I usually leave it that way when I'm hanging out in this room so they can romp around the top, and he was trying to pet Walter (who has bit him before, once VERY badly, he needed antibiotics), and Walter bit him. So I walk over to the cage, and there is Walter all puffed up and huddled in a corner. WOW, i thought, I have never seen any of my rats puff up before, EVER. So he must have been really scared, but I don't know why really. I mean I know none of the rats are as familiar and therefore comfortable with my boyfriend, but none of them have acted like that before. I've tried to tell my boyfriend that if he wants to be able to snuggle the rats, then he needs to build a relationship with them, but I don't think he cares quite enough to put in the time and effort. 

I guess I don't really have a clear point in writing about this, because I pretty much know that to make Walter more comfortable, my boyfriend has to put in some effort. I just think it's really weird that he has such a growing aversion to my sweety.


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## Stephanie (Mar 25, 2007)

Iriquois hates my hubby too LoL Just give it some time, make sure he waches his hands before handling them, try being around him when they are together.


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## Poppyseed (Feb 1, 2007)

Do you think rats can get used to females but smell males because they aren't use to them handeling them and freak out? Odin bit at Chris the other day and Chris doesn't feed them or handle them hardly at all.


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## LizLovesRats5 (Mar 28, 2007)

Yeah, I was wondering about the gender thing too. Maybe they can smell the testosterone and find it threatening...


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## cjshrader (Feb 15, 2007)

Well balls, then.


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## LizLovesRats5 (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean by "well balls, then".


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## twitch (Jan 4, 2007)

that's where most of the testerone is created.... :wink:


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## LizLovesRats5 (Mar 28, 2007)

HAHA, yeah I know where testosterone comes from, the comment just didn't seem to make sense at that moment. So should I neuter my boyfriend...? Then, in theory, he and the neutered boys would get along great. 

I'll tell him about that plan tonight and see what he thinks.


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## Strike2 (Apr 26, 2007)

LizLovesRats5 said:


> HAHA, yeah I know where testosterone comes from, the comment just didn't seem to make sense at that moment. So should I neuter my boyfriend...? Then, in theory, he and the neutered boys would get along great.
> 
> I'll tell him about that plan tonight and see what he thinks.


Let us know how that goes, lol  

My rats run and hide whenever another member of my family comes into the play room.


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## JennieLove (Jan 2, 2007)

Maybe he had a bad experiance with males? Alot of aniamls who have been abused by a particular sex, will in turn hate or keep away from people who are similar to the ones who had hurt them in the past. I remember when my dog Cosmo wondered into off (we lived in the country were the nearest neighnor was about a mile away >.< ) he can back with a bloody nose...someone had beat him with a stick! :'( My poor baby. Anyways, I was playign with a stick on day and Cosmo was just layign with me, then the moment I haded the stick to my Dad, Cosmo started to growl as if my Dad was going to hurt him! My dad put the stick down and and called him over and he was fine again. We figured, it must have been a male who beat him that day he wonderd off. And with rescuse, you never know what they have really been though or anything like that.


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## fallinstar (Nov 26, 2006)

my rats loved my ex he thought nothing of sitting down and letting them look in his mouth! but my cat hates men, apart from male animals!


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## Forensic (Apr 12, 2007)

cjshrader said:


> Well balls, then.


 :lol: I'm sure the ratties love ya. :lol:


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## ladylady (Apr 5, 2007)

Ive been thinking maybe you should mark your boyfriend then he would know its safe teritory :lol: 
I know that not very helpfull


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## LizLovesRats5 (Mar 28, 2007)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you guys are cracking me up...

So I'll just tell my boyfriend that he has two choices 1. He could let me castrate him or.... 2. He could let a rat pee on him...


HAHAHAHAHA


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## ladylady (Apr 5, 2007)

No you have to pee on your b/f so he will smell like you and your rattie will be comfy with him


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## twitch (Jan 4, 2007)

lmao! there's a reason why females do not pee on ice so i doubt a person would appricate a "sprinkle" *chuckles*

but perhaps on a more realistic note you could try the smell thing to see if it does make a difference. where a big shirt day and night for a couple days (maybe a pair of large pajama bottoms too) so they get full of your smell (maybe play with the rats with it on to so they have a chance to get there smell on there too) then have the boyfriend put them on before taking out the rats. the clothing will smell so much like you and the rats already that i don't think they should be bothered by the boyfriend anymore. maybe do that with a pair of gloves as well so you BF can take them out himself. 

i don't know. its a theroy i guess. rats see most of their world through their sense of smell maybe this will help. (and much less gross then then you peeing on your bf an dsomething i think he will agree to more readily then having him neutered)

if you do try this let us know how it goes.


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## OnlyOno (Apr 4, 2007)

i agree with twitch, that sounds helpful. but def do remember that if they're rescues and had a bad experience, they will probably never get over it. my friends recently had to put their dog down since he freaked out and bit a girl's nose for no real reason. he was a rescue and had a panic attack every time someone would high five (this was bad because he was a dog living in a frat house, lol). point being, animals don't forgive and forget as well as humans do.


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## twitch (Jan 4, 2007)

personally i think they forgive better. they have to go through a lot of abuse and neglect for them to never forgive whereas a human will lash out if stuck in traffic too long. 

for instance i once had a rat that had absolutely no reason whatsoever to trust humans. from a young age she was overcrowed and given little to no nice contact. when she was about 6 weeks old she, her sister and 2 brothers were given to a person with a snake. they were kept two to a hamster cage next to the snake tank. not only could she hear her siblings being killed she had front row seats. she was the last to go in the tank and fought for all she was worth, took out an eye of the snake in fact before what would become her new owner took her out. he took teh hamster cage and took her home. though well meaning he didn't know anything about rats. he kept her in the small hamster cage on pine bedding and fed her hamster seed mix. after about a week he moved into a place where things got even worse. the people he was staying with put the rat in with his gerbils. he came home in time to rescue her from serious damage. he left again for the weekend and his roomates again put the rat and gerbils together, this time she killed and ate the gerbils. at some point during her stay there she ended up in a small tank and while inside the side of the tank was broken and she ran loose for a time. she ended up in another tank and again was able to escape. she spent most of her time running loose in a rather dangerous and unsantariy environment. everyday the people would smoke pot often hotboxing the small apartment. by the time i got to her she was again in a small but at least double level hamster cage but at least a third of her tail was missing and what was left at the tip was green, black and fuzzy. i was told that the boys (i was talking to the father of one of the tenents) had broken her tail and kept pulling peices off through teh bars and blowing smoke in her face. she was very active when i picked her up but she didn't scream like she did whenever anyone else tried to hold her. i took her home, had the damaged portion of her tail amputated the next day and went through intros with the other rats in a breeze. after a time and couple set back she became one of the best and most affectionate rats i've ever had the privilage of knowing. 

maybe its just the rats, i doubt a human would have recovered so well from such torture. though this is the most extreme case of abuse i've encountered i have come across other abused rats and they've all made great improvements. i've also come across abused and neglicted dogs and cats that didn't make such a turn around. and its not like you can say that rats just have shorter memories. when i went over to visit the father and had her on my shoulder she would stay perfectly still and if i put her on the kitchen table to run over and get a treat she would only stretch her body towards the treat but wouldn't actually leave me, she had to stay in contact. she knew where she was and remembered. once i realised what was going i stopped taking her over. 

my point is that just because she's a rescue doesn't mean she won't ever come around. just because her past was horrbile doesn't mean that with a bit of understanding and some patience she won't become a loving part of the family. it might not work the same way with dogs or humans or other animals but in my experience it works nearly every single time with rats. they just have to learn that THESE humans are ok, that not ALL humans are going to hurt them. but you have to show them that. i think its really quite amazing that they can distingush and understand that without having the benifit of being able to talk out the issues but they do. just keep trying to show them that not all male people are bad and eventually they'll catch on.


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## LizLovesRats5 (Mar 28, 2007)

Oh my god, that is such an awful story. Stories like that make me sick to my stomach and it just makes me so sad. I wish I could rescue every rat in the world....


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## OnlyOno (Apr 4, 2007)

ha, don't we all. while i'm at it though, i'd like to rescue all the dogs and cats, horses, swine, chickens, gorillas, elephants and manatees too.  kind of funny, but kind of sad that there are so many animals out there who need our help.

and i meant that an animal tortured like that will never forgive the people who did that to them, and many will carry a fear of anything similar to that experience, whereas a human may understand better that it was an individual and not that all men are evil, etc. i don't know, to me, an animal seems to be scarred by a traumatic event stronger than a human is by the same thing, to a point. i understand that nothing will survive extreme torture/trauma wholly, but you know. ha, i don't think any of that made sense. i hear your point though.


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## Poppyseed (Feb 1, 2007)

I don't know. Many humans develop a fear towards the thing that hurt them, especially if it was early in life. I knew someone who FREAKED out whenever she saw sharp knives or blades because she was abused badly as a child. It just took LOOKING at them to make her panic and flail. Very, incredibly sad.

I think humans get more scarred than you think, we just try so hard to hide it from eachother.


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## twitch (Jan 4, 2007)

yeah, i agree poppyseed. when i was in grade five i fell on ice and got a minor concussion. since that time i've really hated ice. i cna still skate on it fine but if i'm outside and there's an ice patch on the sidewalk i'll walk around it if i can. i KNOW its not the ice's fault that i fell but i can't help being afraid. i know that if i'm careful i wo't fall and even if i do fall its unlikely i'll get all that hurt again anyway but i still can't help being afraid. it doesn't matter that i understand why or how silly it is. and that's just from a simple fall, i cna only imagine what fear a creature would have if they were tortured or abused like Nezumi or your friend. 

what i find amazing though is that rats can forgive so easily. Nezumi had no reason to ever trust a human. she didn't know i wasn't going to hurt her but she didn't yell at me like she did whenever anyone else touched her. adn after a time she stopped yelling at anyone. what's most impressive of all that is though is how quickly she forgave. i don't think it took more then a couple months for her to come completely out of her shell and trusting every hand that touched her. my mother has a dog that it was obvisous he was abused before we got him and was very nervous. it took him years for him to come to anyone. years. a rat and a dog don't know how long their average lifespan is, they don't know how short or long a time they have to get over something bad in their past to enjoy their future yet the rat got over her trauma in a couple months whereas the dog took years nad he's still not that confident. its really just amaizing the power to fogive is in rats.


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## Poppyseed (Feb 1, 2007)

She sounds like an awesome rat. I'm so glad you rescued her!

Still it makes me sad to think of how many pet rats out there aren't being treated properly and are neglected/abused D: Poor things, let's go to every house that owns a rat and make sure they owners treat them right. Lol if only it were possible.


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