# Help! My boyfriend throws his rats around



## RattyRat (Nov 6, 2011)

Hello,

I'm the proud owner of two girls and always take good care for them. When my boyfriend first came to my house he met my rats as well and immediately fell in love with them. After a month or so he decided to buy two girls himself as well (he wanted girls because he didn't like the balls on male rats). I warned him that girls are generally more active than males are but he didn't care. Now he found out his rats are quite hyperactive and just hide for him, so he loses his patience really fast. If they don't do what he wants, or if they do something he disagrees with he'd just pick them up and throw them around. On his bed for example (he joked towards me that he was bouncing his rats like a baseball) or if they're chewing something on his desk he'd just throw them on the floor. I told him he shouldn't handle rats like this and that it's no wonder they're scared for him, but he won't listen. What can I possibly do to stop this animal torture? Any help is welcome!

x


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## 750XL (Oct 3, 2011)

Oh my gosh! That's disgraceful behaviour, I can't believe you even love somebody who treats our little furry friends like that, you should be ashamed of yourself.

You should rescue his rats immediately or call the relevant authorities. I'm almost in tears reading your post, I can't believe people can treat animals like this.

Please inform us on any progress  I hope these little ratties get what they deserve


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## Jaguar (Nov 15, 2009)

throw him off the edge of a building and see how he likes it? :/


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## raabzbaby89 (Oct 7, 2011)

Have you tried showing him how a gentle touch can work wonders to bond a rat to a human? For example, my boyfriend's very anxious and shy rat Glitch - who would squeak when picked up and run like **** when we had to grab him to put him back in his cage - was trained by me to be a lot more calm and affectionate by picking him up very gently and then giving him a treat while stroking his head. Glitch is now a little attention ***** and and an affectionate groomer of human hands =) This proves how being calm and gentle with a rat can really enforce the bond.

Maybe show your boyfriend how this works, and he will want to treat his rats a little better.


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## sonicboom (Sep 3, 2011)

You could suggest to him that he gives his rats away, or to you, if you are able to take both boys and girls, taking into account the issues with having both. He obviously doesn't have the patients for his rats. Either that, or try and teach him how to look after his rats.

Clearly the rats won't become comfortable with him while he is treating them that way.


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## SlashGlambert (Aug 24, 2011)

He needs to give them to someone who can take care of them. I have four ratties and if a guy I was dating ever did that or put one hand on them, I'd dump his *** in a heartbeat...Can you get them yourself? I've done this before with my neighbors. They didn't seem to mind. If he's abusing them like that, he shouldn't mind.


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## SlashGlambert (Aug 24, 2011)

750XL said:


> Oh my gosh! That's disgraceful behaviour, I can't believe you even love somebody who treats our little furry friends like that, you should be ashamed of yourself.
> 
> You should rescue his rats immediately or call the relevant authorities. I'm almost in tears reading your post, I can't believe people can treat animals like this.
> 
> Please inform us on any progress  I hope these little ratties get what they deserve


Couldn't have said it better. I teared a little too. more in anger though.


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## A.ngelF.eathers (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, you should slap the cruelty out of him, that would be first approach, personally.

This is sick behavior and the exact reason I avoid most males of our species. 

Smacking them around is not going to make them listen, it's going to make them fear him, and fear is a far different from respect. A lot of males seem to think it's the same thing.

If he doesn't love them (and if he did, he would NOT be doing this to them) why does he have them? Just to say he has rats?
Ask for them, if he says no, take them. If he gets mad, report him.

Does he have other pets? If so, he's probably treating them the same way. 

I can't stand people like that. It's not ignorance, it's blatant, outright, superiority-complex cruelty, his need to feel macho so he smacks his animals around. That usually leads to other things too. :|


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## binkyhoo (Sep 28, 2008)

Take the rats from him. Now they are yours. Then dump him like the peice of garbage he is. You know you will be next to get smacked.


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## Kiko (Sep 18, 2009)

Before I jump to conclusions....how is he tossing them? I will toss my rats onto the bed, not CHUCK them, but little tosses and they love it. You can even find cute videos of it on youtube.

He is just chucking them like rags? If so, he could SERIOUSLY harm them one day if they hit their head or land on a leg the wrong way, not to mention they will never love him if he treats them that way.
Animal cruelty should not be tolerated OR taken lightly, let him know this is WAY out of line.


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## Rozlyn (Nov 5, 2011)

You can't help who you love, and personally I don't feel it's right for anyone here to tell you that you should feel ashamed for having feelings toward someone with such bad tendencies. I know a few people who are either married or dating people that have been abusive to them in some way or another, and it's obvious that these people can't control who they fall in love with, despite everything. 

In any case, all you as his girlfriend can do is obviously not treat rats (his or yours) in the same manor (which it doesn't sound like you are), and to let him know just _how serious_ it is what he is doing. Like others have suggested, you can offer to take the females off his hands and raise them yourself, or ask him to put them up for adoption. I'm sure if you advertised it on here, someone would be willing to take his girls and care for them. He really should not own rats (and perhaps any other animals, considering his terrible short temper with them, lack of self restraint, and high demands without devoting and sort of time to make them comfortable or used to him). 

When you see him tossing his rats around, do you at least attempt to stop him? Or does he just tell you he is doing this? If he hurts one of his girls, is he willing to personally take them to the vet? My guess is no, and as such, he is not suited to own rats. 

He really needs to find them a new home, and you as his girlfriend need to be able to tell him that if you're really here to ask for help.


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## Kiko (Sep 18, 2009)

Rozlyn said:


> You can't help who you love, and personally I don't feel it's right for anyone here to tell you that you should feel ashamed for having feelings toward someone with such bad tendencies. I know a few people who are either married or dating people that have been abusive to them in some way or another, and it's obvious that these people can't control who they fall in love with, despite everything.
> 
> In any case, all you as his girlfriend can do is obviously not treat rats (his or yours) in the same manor (which it doesn't sound like you are), and to let him know just _how serious_ it is what he is doing. Like others have suggested, you can offer to take the females off his hands and raise them yourself, or ask him to put them up for adoption. I'm sure if you advertised it on here, someone would be willing to take his girls and care for them. He really should not own rats (and perhaps any other animals, considering his terrible short temper with them, lack of self restraint, and high demands without devoting and sort of time to make them comfortable or used to him).
> 
> ...


I agree with you on the whole "can't help who you love" part. It's not my relationship so I won't tell you how to run it, but you should be very terse with him. Let him know this is wrong.


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## HoneyRose (Sep 7, 2011)

I hope theres a happy ending to this thread!


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## ratjes (Mar 26, 2011)

To the OP. Is this for real? How will he treat you if you do something he doesn't like in the near future?


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## SlashGlambert (Aug 24, 2011)

I did jump to conclusions, I'll admit that. That's just disturbing and disgusting. This is how I got my rescue cat. A neighbor was abusing her so I took her. I got angry and upset and can't really take back anything I said. My emotions are running away with me!



> I hope theres a happy ending to this thread!​


Me too!


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## 1a1a (May 6, 2011)

Kiko said:


> Before I jump to conclusions....how is he tossing them? I will toss my rats onto the bed, not CHUCK them, but little tosses and they love it. You can even find cute videos of it on youtube.
> 
> He is just chucking them like rags? If so, he could SERIOUSLY harm them one day if they hit their head or land on a leg the wrong way, not to mention they will never love him if he treats them that way.
> Animal cruelty should not be tolerated OR taken lightly, let him know this is WAY out of line.


This.


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## RattyRat (Nov 6, 2011)

Kiko said:


> Before I jump to conclusions....how is he tossing them? I will toss my rats onto the bed, not CHUCK them, but little tosses and they love it. You can even find cute videos of it on youtube.
> 
> He is just chucking them like rags? If so, he could SERIOUSLY harm them one day if they hit their head or land on a leg the wrong way, not to mention they will never love him if he treats them that way.
> Animal cruelty should not be tolerated OR taken lightly, let him know this is WAY out of line.



He throws them around quite carelessly, not just on a playful way.



> i was bouncing mavis off my bed yesterday in a rage
> like a basketball
> bounce bounce bounce


That's literally copied from a msn conversation I had with him a few days ago. I would take them from him but that's impossible due to being short on space, cages and money. I tried to make him put them up for adoption but he simply won't. Now he just wants another rat because those two are not the sort of rats he wanted :/ I tried to tell him many times as well that it helps if he takes them out every day, plays with them and feeds them treats out of his hands but he's refusing to believe me. I'm clueless what I could possibly do to stop him from treating them like this. He also owns three birds. He takes amazing care of two of them and moved his oldest bird downstairs where the poo is LITERALLY towering up. Sick really. I wish I didn't love him so much but I can't live without him!


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## LilysMom (Sep 7, 2011)

That is a really unfortunate situation... Just a suggestion, you can take it or leave it since it is your relationship and only you know what is best for your situation but try giving him an ultimatum. Kinda along the lines of, "If you really love me and want this relationship to work, you need to show me just how well you will take care of me by expressing it through your animals because if you can't have respect for something as simple as a rat, how are you going to deal with me? My needs are far greater than a rat." Good luck with your situation I really hope everything works out well for everyone in the end.


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## SlashGlambert (Aug 24, 2011)

He really sounds like a sicko. Who says that? That's disturbing. Put a stop to it somehow. Take the rats, get them a good home. They are NOT toys or things you can vent on. That's animal abuse and cruelty. Pretty sure it can be reported.

P.S. if this isn't taken seriously enough I'm out of this forum.


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## GhostMouse (Sep 6, 2011)

He's got a cage for them, right?

I'd either do as Lilysmom suggested and give him the ultimatum, or take them from him (with their cage and whatever supplies he has), deal with things being a little cramped for a while and find them a home myself.

I know this is a tough situation. I can't imagine what I'd do if my boyfriend were to treat any animals this way, but I could not stay with someone who abuses animals. If he doesn't want that bird any more he needs to rehome it, too, not just neglect it. If he does want the bird, he needs to take care of it.


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## calisphere (Oct 25, 2011)

I'm sorry but I think giving the advice to "just take them" isn't good. In the eyes of the law, pets are property. The OP would be stealing personal property if she "just takes them". That could lead to a whole mess that none of us wants to deal with. I understand that we as animal lovers hate to see something like this going on, but telling someone to commit a crime isn't the best solution. It is a better suggestion to say to contact places such as animal control to ask them what can be done. I do feel bad for the OP and the rats in the situation, but the best way to go about it is via legal means.


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## Kiko (Sep 18, 2009)

I am also hoping this is a serious thread, and not a joke 

Since we have not witnessed anything personally, none of us here can do anything except give you the advice we already have. Please don't let your BF abuse these animals, they can NOT defend themselves and you know it. What will you do if he KILLS one of the rats or his bird starts tearing out it's feathers in depression and then dies? How will you feel knowing you could have stopped him by taking them?
Please don't let it escalate.


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## ratjes (Mar 26, 2011)

You boyfriend needs help in dealing with his anger. You cannot do this for him. If you love him so much you have to look at your future. What will he do with your children? I would run, girl, run and see that you can live without him until he has gotten the help he needs. Was he abused as a kid?


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## alliepenguin (May 6, 2011)

I would rather this be a sick joke to be honest. That guy can go to you know what! If I were you, I'd rescue those poor babies and just tell him you don't like to see them abused. If he 'can't live without you back' he'll understand!


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## Kiko (Sep 18, 2009)

I am taking it seriously on the chance this is for real, but I get vibes that this a joke....
I mean we are a rat forum, not psychologists. We can give advice on RATS, not rat owners abusive boyfriends. That is pretty messed up and just doing nothing but upset us as a community.

If this is for real, make it stop, call the authoritys. There is nothing we can do from here.


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## ratjes (Mar 26, 2011)

Kiko said:


> I am taking it seriously on the chance this is for real, but I get vibes that this a joke....
> I mean we are a rat forum, not psychologists. We can give advice on RATS, not rat owners abusive boyfriends. That is pretty messed up and just doing nothing but upset us as a community.
> 
> If this is for real, make it stop, call the authoritys. There is nothing we can do from here.


I am starting to feel it is not for real too. Rattyrat seems to let us do the talking mostly. Maybe close this thread?


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## glider11 (Sep 7, 2011)

Perhaps before closing the thread we should wait for Rattyrat to reply.
I would like to see what else he/she has to say and I would like to hear how this works out.
Hopefully those poor ratties will have their happy ending!

Also, I'm hoping no one would be cruel enough to post this as a joke!


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## 1a1a (May 6, 2011)

i was bouncing mavis off my bed yesterday in a rage
like a basketball
bounce bounce bounce 

Being realistic, these rats will not have a good life with him (the bird too perhaps) and it's very likely they will die early deaths. Take them yourself, call animal welfare, or do nothing and let it happen. 

Digressing slightly, love (when used in the romantic context) is a very misunderstood word, my advice is, don't let that feeling rule your life, people do some incredibly stupid things in the name of love.

PS I too hope to hear a reply from rattyrat, and hope this situation resolves itself in a positive manner...


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## RattyRat (Nov 6, 2011)

First of all, even though I'm aware this is not an everyday story, this is not a joke. I'm just not able to be on the internet too much which is why I'm not replying much. I spoke to my boyfriend and managed to convince him to give his rats to me, yay  I'm going to get them tomorrow and try to rehome them as soon as possible. If I can't find a good home for them I'll keep them myself. Thank you all for the advises and tips, I really appreciate it.


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## AlexP (Oct 26, 2011)

Great news! What about his bird?


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## wheeljack (Mar 17, 2011)

I'm glad you have the rats now. Coming from someone who likely has a good bit more life-experience than you do, please consider VERY carefully if you really can't live without an individual who is intentionally impatient and cruel with beings smaller and weaker than himself. That behavior almost invariably always carries over to other pets, girlfriends/spouses and children.


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## LilysMom (Sep 7, 2011)

Yay for you and the ratites!!


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## HoneyRose (Sep 7, 2011)

Glad to hear a happy ending, I hope something happens with the bird too.


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## Critter Aficionado (Jan 30, 2011)

At least he let you have the rats. But now I'm worried about the bird. The anger issues scare me, it could start meaning abuse towards people next. I admit, my fiance will gently toss the girls onto me (when I'm expecting it, onto my belly where it's a soft landing), or the bed from a very short distance, but they love it, and it's in no way an anger related thing. But just tossing a pet, especially a small animal that is so defenseless, carelessly, that's very worrisome.


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