# How to help a friend



## Squeakfluff (Dec 7, 2015)

I’m sorry this isn’t rat related, but I need help and this is the only place I can ask without the person I’m discussing seeing it. This might be triggering to some people, so read at your own risk.


I’ve known a friend of mine on another forum for about six years now. She has a very abusive family. Her mom drinks and yells at her and insults her, and her brother is a bully. Her biological dad died back in February after many years of being a drug addict. On top of having a shitty family, she has multiple mental and physical health problems, as well as a best friend with terrible heart problems who has nearly died multiple times. She has attempted suicide numerous times because of her shitty life. She is currently trying to move out of the house, but she doesn’t have enough money because she makes minimum wage and her mother takes money right out of her paycheck for herself. 


It really tears me up to see her like this. I’ve wanted to help her for years but I can’t do anything besides offer encouraging words, since she lives in another state. The only thing I've ever been able to do for her physically is send her some money so her dog could have life saving surgery, but then the dog died. Her life is just pure **** and she doesn't deserve it. She's such a kind, caring, selfless person and I love her to death. I get really depressed whenever something bad happens to her, although I'm becoming numb to it........I have a problem with getting overwhelmed by other people's problems due to mental disorders and I just wish I knew how to be stronger for her, and not let this turn me into a crying mess. 

I just had to vent.


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## Gribouilli (Dec 25, 2015)

How old is she?


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## Squeakfluff (Dec 7, 2015)

She is almost 23. Her family said they were gonna kick her out when she turned 18 but they didn't, for some reason. She and a friend are trying to get an apartment together and hopefully they can.


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## raindear (Mar 3, 2015)

If she's earning minimum wage, she might qualify for assistance in her state. Nevada has a housing authority that offers subsidized housing. Something like this if available to her might at least get her out of the house and on her own. She may also qualify for other types of assistance if she looks into it.


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## Gribouilli (Dec 25, 2015)

if her parents are abusive with her, she might qualify for a spot at a shelter for abused women. She could rent a bedroom at a house for cheap too. Sounds horrible maybe you or someone you know could house her for 6 months so she gets a little time to save money and rent a a E of her own. Maybe a local church could help too.


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## Squeakfluff (Dec 7, 2015)

She lives in Maryland, I'm not sure what resources they have, but I'll look into it. I don't think she could go to a shelter because it's all emotional abuse, not physical. If she can't get an apartment then I'll tell her about some other options...problem is she has a hamster she would want to bring and I know not all shelters allow pets. I'll tell her about disability benefits, which could work if her family doesn't do anything to sabotage it =/


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## Squeakfluff (Dec 7, 2015)

The situation is getting worse. Her mom and brother have been so abusive to her lately that she's become deeply depressed and doesn't leave her room. I'm scared I'm going to lose her. I think the only reason she's still alive is because her other online friends and I have encouraged her and kept her alive up to this point. But there is only so much we can do. She's grieving heavily over the loss of her father and dog. It feels like her suicide is inevitable if she doesn't get out of that house soon. 

I'm sorry for ranting here, because I know there's nothing anyone can do to help me. This is the only place I can vent without her seeing it.


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## Gribouilli (Dec 25, 2015)

If you think she is about to commit suicide, you need (actually you are required by law) to call social services or the police so they go check on her.


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## Squeakfluff (Dec 7, 2015)

I would, but I don't know her address. The next time she seems like she'll do something, I think I'll contact an irl friend of hers that I know.


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