# How do you deal with the passing of your first rat?



## ilovescience (May 14, 2014)

Algae passed away this morning. She was my first pet, first rat, and first death of a loved one.

I've already grieved for Algae, then made peace with her passing. When I grieved for Algae, I felt sad that she had to die, that she was going before she got to enjoy the new toys or the new DCN that I bought especially for her (which arrived the day after I had to modify their SCN because she was no longer able to move between two levels). I was also sad that she wasn't able to binge on her favorite foods during her last few days because her illness progressed too quickly, and that she had to struggle and gasp for breath for the last 6-8 hours of her life. I then made peace, because she lived a good life. Not a perfect life, but a good one.

But now I'm grieving for myself, and I'm having a hard time. She may have passed on, but I'm still alive and having to live with that loss. I miss her so much already. She'd burrowed herself in my heart and in my life. Everything reminds me of her.

I still have two ratties that I'm responsible for. I know I love them, but I can't even look at them right now. 

How do you deal with the passing of your first rat/pet? How do you expedite the grieving process?


----------



## lovethoseratties (Sep 10, 2015)

Whenever I have a pet pass on, I just remember the love and compassion I showed them, and how they passed away knowing what love is. I always remember that while our pets are only a part of our life, we are all of theirs. I just try to stay proud of myself for everything I did for my ratties (I saved you from being snake food! I bought you a lovely cage! I let you share my snacks!) remember that they do have tiny lives and often it's out of our power when they pass. You gave your baby such a lovely life and they'll thank you forever for it<3 Grieving is a long process, if you feel up for it, let your two remaining rats help you through it, it's amazing how much they understand and how comforting they can be!


----------



## Rat Daddy (Sep 25, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear about Algae's passing. But your rats very much become a part of you and losing them is like losing a part of yourself... or at best family member or best friend. If you have a heat it's going to break. There's no way around it... there will be an empty place in your cage and in your life and it's going to hurt. Eventually you will get used to the tiny void in your heart and maybe it will back fill with another love, but you will carry the memories and the love you and Algae shared forever and you are the better for it. As much as we make our rats lives better they also make us better.


Perhaps for me it's gratitude that makes me feel better, when I realize how grateful I am for everything my passed on friends gave me, I tend to feel privileged for the lives they shared with me. And perhaps I feel just a little blessed.

Algae lived a full life, made special by you. Rats lives are short life, but their love goes on forever, so she will always be with you in your heart and in your memories. Rats die young to make room for other rats to fill their cages and their human's hearts. In passing she gave her life so another rat can get to know you... Honor her sacrifice and pass her love forward.


----------



## ilovescience (May 14, 2014)

Rat Daddy said:


> I'm sorry to hear about Algae's passing. But your rats very much become a part of you and losing them is like losing a part of yourself... or at best family member or best friend. If you have a heat it's going to break. There's no way around it... there will be an empty place in your cage and in your life and it's going to hurt. Eventually you will get used to the tiny void in your heart and maybe it will back fill with another love, but you will carry the memories and the love you and Algae shared forever and you are the better for it. As much as we make our rats lives better they also make us better.
> 
> 
> *Perhaps for me it's gratitude that makes me feel better, when I realize how grateful I am for everything my passed on friends gave me, I tend to feel privileged for the lives they shared with me. And perhaps I feel just a little blessed.
> ...



Thank you so much for reminding me of this. Algae brought so much love, joy, and laughter into my life, I'm so thankful that she was and will always be a part of my life, and that I was able to be a part of hers.


----------



## raqathta (Sep 16, 2015)

A friend who lost his best friend and had to deal with overwhelming grief told me a couple of "rules": (1) Ride the wave--feel and express your grieve as you feel the need to, in private if necessary, or with other human or animal friends. Let the grief come, but let it pass, too--the waves will come less frequenty as time goes on. (2) Don't fight it. This is a little like #1, except that it works for all kinds of things. Don't fight the grief; but don't fight the relief when it comes by feeling guilty. Humans are designed to get through pain. Look to your remaining ratties for solace, too--you won't be cheating Algae by attending to them. Their little lives are short, too, and they want to give you their love! Let it help you heal!


----------

