# Rest in Peace Joshu, my Dearest Friend



## Poppyseed

Just got off the phone with the vet. **** I was giveing my hopes up for so long before this.

First x ray had shown fluid in the heart, the doc tried lasix
second x ray, fluid was going away looked very hopeful, tried lasix again
third x ray, fluid had gone away enough to show a large mass in his chest. Unrepairable damage for such a small animal.


I tried. Going to bring him home and give him lovings for a short while and keep him comfortable for as long as I can, but euthenasia is the only option. All others are extremely expensive and high risk.

I tried. Now I'm broke and will have a dead rat soon. This sucks.

I love you Joshu, I am not ready for you to go just yet. But please tell me when you are ready. I know it will probably be within the next week or so.


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## Evangeline

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

I'm sorry. My thoughts are with you x


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## Nazarath

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

I'm so sorry, just last month my littler girl got a tumor in her brain and i had to put her down after being on meds for about a month with no improvments. I miss her so, I hope your time with him is special . He is very handsome!


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## fallinstar

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

sorry for you loss


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## Poppyseed

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

I don't know WHAT they did with him but I brought him home and he was drinking water by himself out of the waterbottle  He hasn't done that in like a month so that makes me so happy.

Maybe Lasix was helping if he is doing that now  I should call the vet and ask them about it. Anything that helps him even the tiniest bit makes him and me happy. I know the mass is uncureable but if he seems to not be in pain and seems to be interested in eating food as well as drinking water I want to keep going with what I'm doing.

His breathing is still heavy, but not as much as before! And he seems happier and healthier. Like I said I am going to contact the vet tomorrow I want to keep him going on a good life if I can even if that means he's on meds to keep him that way.


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## Nazarath

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

YAY good news is always the best!!!! YAY


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## twitch

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

that's great to hear! i hope the medicine continues to help


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## fallinstar

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

thats good news! hope its all ok!


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## Evangeline

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

Keep us updated!


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## Poppyseed

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

Sadly, that seemed temporary. Today Joshu is doing the worse that he has been this past month of ups and downs.

If I can get a ride to the vet, I will take him in Tuesday or Wednesday to be put under. It's sad but I don't want to see him suffer anymore and the mass just can't be overcome 

This is incredibly hard, he's sleeping with us tonight in the bed. He really doesn't seem to get along with the others since he is so sick and panics to be alone. It's best he sleep with me. Besides, we sleep together in naps all the time and he isn't defecating anymore


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## Shar

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

I'm so sorry to hear of your boy. We lost our boy Finley on Tuesday to a tumor in his belly, and our vet told us that as long as he is not in pain to just love him as much as he will take. 

He slept with me in my bed, next to my head on the pillow, and would brux while I rubbed his ears. In the end, when he was ready, he just went to sleep. 

If he isn't in pain then taking him to the vet will be a scary thing for him. If you can avoid it, let his final days be at home, with his person, whom he loves.


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## Poppyseed

*Re: Euthenasia is our only viable option*

This morning at around 5:10 a.m Joshu Van Gilder passed on to the other world. 

We had an appointment for today for him to be euthenised. He was sleeping in bed with me when he woke me up with a couple of panic attacks. I'm sad to say he did not go easily, but I tried to comfort him as much as possible. I believe his heart siezed up from the mass, then he calmed down enough for me to hold him and tell him how much I love him and how wonderful he is when his heart rate kept falling, then he tried to crawl away one last time in a effort to keep it going, but was still in my hands when he finally passed on.

It was incredibly sad, but at least he was in my arms and not alone in his cage when he died. I did the right thing sleeping with him the past couple of nights to keep him company.

I called the doctor just now to cancel my appointment. Funeral services will be postponed as Dr. Lennox wants to take pictures of the mass for her new book on exotic animal care or rat care of something of that nature. Joshu will be helping many other rats, rat owner and vets this way. I think it's what he would of wanted.

This is so hard, I keep thinking he's going to climb out of his cage (which has been open because they never wander far and there isn't really anything they can get into) and get on the fouton and stare me down until I pick him up so he can sit on my lap. That or he likes to sleep on the fouton. I hope he wasn't upset that it was in the bed that he passed on and not the fouton. Maybe I should of taken him over there but I wanted to be by Chris still. He fought so hard and so strong and tried his best to fight this thing for me, even to the end. He might of been the omega of the pack but I think it was just because he didn't want to hurt others, he was a very selfless rat, except when it came to treats.

I remember when I got him. My dad was visiting and brought over some rats and snakes to keep there that he just purchased at the reptile show. I went to look at the baby rats and was amazed at how cute and adorable they were, and horrified that they would be snake food. But I couldn't save them all, and one seemed to shine out from the rest of his kin. He was one of two black hooded rats in the bunch, and had a lighter coat then the other. He LOVED me right from the beginning, wanting to be held and licking my hands like crazy. After much begging and pleading and some help from my family I kept Joshu home and safe from being snake food.

I couldn't keep him off my shoulder, and was amazed how awesome rats are to keep as pets. In no time he was litter trained, and knew his name. He loved to play under the blankets tickling me and rat boxing with my hands playfully. Before long it was clear he needed a friend, so I brought Odin. And then I saw a dumbo at the pet store so I purchased Bastian because of his huge ears and his love for licking hands.

Somehow, though, I never connected with Bastian and Odin as I did Joshu. Joshu and I had a deep understanding that is hard to find in a pet. The only other pets that I have had that understanding are cats. He had the loyalty and love of a canine combined with the intellegence and strength of spirit that cats have. He loved all animals he came across and immediatly wanted to be friends. I believe eventually him and Nanna and even Bikki became friends, but I didn't allow him close to the ferrets for fear they would play too rough.

I remember walking through Broadripple with him on my shoulder. How people used to think he was a mouse because he was small and cute and not colors people expect in rats but occur frequently. I can remember taking him outside and letting him play in the grass. It was rare that I was at the computer that he was on my shoulder or lap.

I also remember right before he was sick, or just at the start of it perhaps, that I was cleaning his cage and he wandered off so fast I had to search for him for an hour. Chris came home and found him immediately in the bedroom, asleep on my bed. He went where my scent was the strongest. He always went towards me. 

Joshu you will be missed my little companion. I hope your flying free in the spirit realm. I hope wherever you are, there is much pasta, advacado, strawberries and dark chocolate (tiny bits of this are actually good for rats every so often). I hope there is frosted mini wheats as well. I hope there are other rats to have as friends and I hope you can still visit me. I know I will always carry your memories in my heart.

I love you, and I always will.


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## fallinstar

im so sorry for your loss there isnt really anything else i can say to help you but if you need to talk you always got me and the rest of the guys on the forum, im so so sorry for your loss and our thoughts are with you through this hard time xxx


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## twitch

i can see he was very dear to you and you to him. i'm sure wherever he is now he's watching you and missing you as much as you miss him. i'm very sorry for your loss and all our thoughts are with you. many rattie kisses and loves from me and my crew of fuzz-butts.


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## Poppyseed

Thank you *at a loss for what she is to do right now* I was making art of him, then I think my tablet died. It will paint for a few strokes till it doesn't recongnise things anyore and I have to unplug it and it will work again for a little while. It just started today while working on this art of Joshu. I find this very strange.

At least he will help other vets to help other rats being in Lennox's book. Still I miss him and what very badly for him to still be alive and well on my lap right now. The other rattys don't like being out nearly as much even though Sabastian is getting better about it.


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## Poppyseed

It's working again. Just had to restart. I wonder if Joshu was trying to tell me something? Maybe he was trying to tell me 'those wings suck, make new ones' because I opened it up and found they did, and made new ones.

Making this made me feel better somehow, even though I'm not sure I believe in the whole rainbow bridge thing it is a beautiful idea. Still am certain Joshu would want down from there and amoungst other ratties with advocado and strawberries.


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## fallinstar

thats a gorgus picture


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## JennieLove

Thats very beautifully made :'( Im sorry for your loss.


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## Shar

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and I am sure that he was glad to be near you in his final days. Someday, when you are not even expecting it, a little rat will call you and you will see Joshu's spirit in his eyes.


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## Poppyseed

Awww Shar! I hope so T_T That would be the best thing ever!


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## Poppyseed

An online friend from Gaia did this for me as a surprise gift today:










It made me cry, it's been a week and his memory is still so fresh. I have been good with dealing with it but this made me cry tons T_T The markings are kind of off but it's so sweet.


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