# New to rats, new to the intense sadness of losing one.



## hybanana (Jan 27, 2012)

*Hey everyone, I'm new to owning rats. 15months ago I rescued two female mother/daughter rats. They were way to cute to resist! )As im sure you all know the feeling)

Today I made the big decision to euthanize my youngest, (year and a half old) baby. I can't stop bawling my eyes out and feeling extremely guilty, and now I am currently regretting that I ever did it...but I was so sure this week that it was the right thing to do. She had a massive tumor that grew rapidly in 4 months from a pea size to a horizontal grapefruit size. I tried to sell what I had so that I could make money to have surgery done, but it grew too rapidly. I could feel her spine and she would have to walk sideways to get a drink. She also didn't eat, unless I handed it to her. She suddenly would tuck herself in the corner and not play with her cagemate and not want to be touched. If I did touch her she squeaked. I could see the "spark" leave her eyes this week. This weekend her tumor ruptured twice and that is when I made the decision. I just got back a few hours ago. She is all wrapped up in her favorite blanket and tucked away in a much decorated box ready for burial tomorrow...at which im probably going to be a wreck. I keep looking into the box and seeing this pink little blanket burrito where I know my beloved girly is, yet I cant bear to open it and look at her...and every time i touch it I cry as I feel the warmth leaving...that is what is making this all of a sudden feel so real to me.

My point is that I need comfort from other rat lovers. I don't know anyone else who can tell me what im looking for and I figured I could find it here. Should I feel guilty? Did I do the right thing? 
As for her mother, a 2 year old hooded, she has been looking for her, and she thought a teddy bear was her at one point as well as my hand under the blanket "pouncing" on her back. I feel terrible because I can't continue the endless cycle of getting more rats and she is such a sweet girl, but came from a bad situation so she only knows how to play and snuggle with other rats. It makes me so devastatingly sad to see her sleeping on this teddy bear all alone tonight. 
I can't get over these horrible sad feelings, I feel like my heart is getting yanked out. 

Thanks guys
*


----------



## Kinsey (Jun 14, 2009)

You did do the right thing..when the spark goes out it is time.

I am so sorry for your loss. -hugs-

For your other girl, I know it is tough but put the body in the cage for a few minutes, unwrapped, and let her see it. She needs to say goodbye, too. They understand death, and she may have a rough time, but it is better than making her think that her daughter will come back.

Give her a ton of love, it will help both of you.. loosing rats is a very hard thing to deal with.


----------



## BigBen (Nov 22, 2011)

hybanana said:


> . . . I feel like my heart is getting yanked out.


Yeah, it's really hard. These little creatures have an amazing ability to get into our hearts and nest there. The grief may never really go away, but it will become easier to live with in time. Your surviving rat may need as much comforting as you do; perhaps you can comfort each other. Remember that you are not alone. Others on this forum have also suffered loss and will understand your grief; those of us who have not yet lost a ratty friend know that that day will come for us, too. May God bless and comfort you and both your girls, and I pray that there will be a reunion beyond the world for all of us and our dear little friends.


----------



## hybanana (Jan 27, 2012)

thank you both for your caring words. Today I'm burring her at my lake house in a sweet little garden that, in the summer, is crawling with huge tiger lilies and lilly of the valley. I believe this would be the perfect spot for her. It still hurts but today I do realize that if I let her keep going, her other two small tumors would have grown just as rapidly and that I gave her a life other than spending her days in a shelter. I still feel so bad for her cagemate though...


----------



## hybanana (Jan 27, 2012)

I thought I would add a little picture of my lovely girl. She'll be so missed.


----------



## krys (Dec 4, 2011)

She was beautiful. And you absolutely did the right thing.

IMHO, surgeries aren't easy on these little boys and girls, and judging how quickly the tumor grew, there was probably nothing much you could do except give her your love for all that time she had with you.

When you choose rats, you know they're going to be with you for a relatively short time only. Their lifespan is short, they have all these deceases plaguing them (the nature chose it to be this way). Yet, even in that short time, you develop that bond, and it's mutual. So, it's wonderful to be with them, but you pay the price.

Hang in there, give the other one all your love, in whatever way she could accept it.


----------



## 1a1a (May 6, 2011)

Very sorry for your loss.

Don't beat yourself up, you did do the right thing and that final act is more than outweighed by the positive times you and her shared (although it Never feels like that at the time).

If you definitely don't want any more rats, your options are: give the mum very large amounts of attention, rehome her or, see if you can borrow a rat to keep the her company (I don't know why this idea isn't kicking around more).


----------



## hybanana (Jan 27, 2012)

I was thinking the same thing about the rat borrowing thing...I would absolutely do this...I wish there was a way I could. Today I can start to tell that she is depressed. She's not bright eyed, and trying to stay in her little hut as much as possible.


----------



## BigBen (Nov 22, 2011)

Mama will probably stop being quite so sad, but for now she needs to grieve as much as you do. I wonder if it might be wise to give her a bit of time to grieve before trying to introduce her to a companion. On the other hand, having another rat around might be helpful to her. It's a tough call, but I bet it will work out whatever you decide. Please let us know how things progress.


----------



## 1a1a (May 6, 2011)

General sentiments I've found are, rats probably need the company more than they need space to grieve. If you want to borrow a rat, my thoughts are post on here, find as many rat forums as you can and post on them as well, maybe also put something in your classifieds, and contact/inquire with your local rat rescues, maybe you could foster a rescue for a while.


----------



## ratjes (Mar 26, 2011)

So sorry for you loss, she was adorable but you really did the right thing, it is an act of love. I too had a very tough time losing my first rats and vowed not to get other ones to save myself from this heartache. I was without them for more than a year and missed terribly. Thank goodness through some "coincidence" I ended up with two new rats and this time I am prepared for their short stay with me and enjoy them even more because of it. I definitely will get two new babies as soon as one of them passes to make sure she won't be alone and for me to continue the delight of having rats. Once you have rats I cannot imagine not having them anymore.


----------



## JessyGene (Feb 27, 2012)

You did the right thing. I had to put down my rat earlier in the summer because of a tumor. It is just awful  I hope you are doing better now


----------

