# Not Allowed To My Family's Thanksgiving Dinner



## Grotesque

So, I have a rat who may be near the end right now. She has a huge hernia and she will most likely be having major surgery to try to repair it sometime before Thanksgiving. 

She needs constant supervision right now and I am planning on having to supervise her for a while after the surgery as well. I mentioned to my mother that I might have to bring her "hospital" cage to her house and mentioned I'll have to put it in the spare room. The hospital cage is a small dog travel crate... nothing major. 

My mother told me, "If you have to bring that rodent, you are not welcome in my house."

Thanks Mom. As if my life isn't hard enough right now with my heart rat hanging on to life.


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## Ilovemybabyrats

Ugh so sorry. They should understand someone you love is very sick


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## Fraido

That is honestly quite ridiculous. In my opinion, she needs a good talking to.


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## artgecko

Does your mom have a phobia of rats / rodents? I know some people are deathly afraid of them. I am sorry that this is an issue for you, but if she is that afraid of rats then I can understand her not wanting your rat present, even in a cage. (Note that I'm not saying that was correct of her or good for her to say it in that way). 

Are your parents a great distance away from you now? If you only had to leave her for a couple hours, then I would think she would be OK by herself. Leaving for days to go on a long trip to see family though, obviously wouldn't work.


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## Grotesque

artgecko said:


> Does your mom have a phobia of rats / rodents? I know some people are deathly afraid of them. I am sorry that this is an issue for you, but if she is that afraid of rats then I can understand her not wanting your rat present, even in a cage. (Note that I'm not saying that was correct of her or good for her to say it in that way).
> 
> Are your parents a great distance away from you now? If you only had to leave her for a couple hours, then I would think she would be OK by herself. Leaving for days to go on a long trip to see family though, obviously wouldn't work.


She definitely doesn't have a phobia. She has pet Chai before, but she often makes comments about how she is a rat and like all vermin, she needs to die. Now, my Mother isn't a bad person at all... she is not violent nor abusive to animals in any way, but she does make these awful comments about my rats. 

I have addressed that to her, but she ignores me. She refuses to see a rat as nothing more than a disease carrying creature that needs to be exterminated. 

They are about 30 minutes away. MAYBE I could leave Chai alone for a bit... but I know for a fact that if Chai isn't much better, I am not going to enjoy being there anyway not knowing if she is okay back home... so maybe it is for the best.


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## Mrs.Brisby

Is it just your mother's opinion? What does the rest of your family think about rats? If she's the only one with the problem maybe you could try talking to some of your other relatives that will be there and tell them you want to bring one of your rats. Sort of put it to a vote. If the majority say they don't care then I would take her. It's wrong of your mother to shun you like that just because you're taking care of your sick pet.


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## Grotesque

I know my Mom is the only one who'd have a problem with it. It's a "her house, her rules" type situation. I'm just so frustrated over it. I understand not wanting a pet rat in your house, and that is fine...

...what is REALLY upsetting me is that she is BLAMING me and making me feel like a villain for not going if my rat needs supervision.


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## Mrs.Brisby

But how would the rest of your family feel about your mother if they found out she banned you from going to thanksgiving for such a stupid reason? I would take Chai anyway. I'd think one of two things would happen. She'd either try not to make a scene in front of the whole family and everything would be okay, or she'll make a scene in front of the whole family and they'll all see how awful she's being. This is just what I would do. If you think something like that might not go well for you then I wouldn't do it.


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## webspinnr

Uhm. I would advise AGAINST deliberately manipulating family and the situation to get what you want. Doesn't make you look good either. Involving family members who have nothing to do with it will, at best case scenario, completely estrange your mother, more likely start a family feud that will go on for who knows how long, and worse case get turned away and everyone thinking poorly of you for dragging them into your drama. I'm very sorry your mom doesn't understand. It has to be very difficult. Where do you live? Would it be warm enough to leave him in the car to check up on him? Or maybe she'd allow him in the garage? Another option might be getting a pet video monitor if you have the funds.


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## Grotesque

webspinnr said:


> Uhm. I would advise AGAINST deliberately manipulating family and the situation to get what you want. Doesn't make you look good either. Involving family members who have nothing to do with it will, at best case scenario, completely estrange your mother, more likely start a family feud that will go on for who knows how long, and worse case get turned away and everyone thinking poorly of you for dragging them into your drama. I'm very sorry your mom doesn't understand. It has to be very difficult. Where do you live? Would it be warm enough to leave him in the car to check up on him? Or maybe she'd allow him in the garage? Another option might be getting a pet video monitor if you have the funds.


I do agree. Unfortunately, I live in Wisconsin. It's going to be REALLY cold! I really can't do the pet monitor thing. I'm talking to the surgeon tomorrow so she will probably be able to give me some medical advice on if she will be okay to be left alone. We still have a whole week to work it out.


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## mimsy

My mother is terrified of rodents, and barely tolerates other animals. She allows the conure over and has let the dogs if there is something wrong and they are on medications. However, the rats would never be allowed. Most of the time, even though it's exhausting I drive up for just the day and come back in the evening. If I have to go further and stay the night then I try and get someone who can either stay with the animals or I can bring them to their home. 

I dream of a little rv or self sustained van that I can visit family and have the critters with me.  We are not able to financially at this time, but my husband and I keep looking for something that would work for us. I have a bunch of small cages I keep though just in case for this. It would be tight for them but a few nights in close quarters would be ok.


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## Phantom

My boyfriend and his brother are not allowed to their Thanksgiving dinner either. His Dad recently got remarried, and neither of us like his new wife. We've tried getting along with her. Ever since they got married his new wife has shunned his Dad's family and friends. I think she thinks that we have some personal vendetta against her. Either way he's not celebrating Thanksgiving with his Dad this year because he's not allowed. Instead he's celebrating it with his cousins and grandparents.


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## webspinnr

Grot, where in wi are you? I'm in madison and everyone in my life is completely understanding of rodents. Except my grandma but I don't think she'll be around. If you live in the area, I could watch him for the night and call immediately should there be any change.


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## Hey-Fay

I've had family tell me that my girls aren't welcome. I told them fine, I guess you just don't get to see me this year. So far everyone's taken it back.


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## Hannah7banana7

I hate that  when i first told my mom that i wanted a pet rat she thought i was gross. A few days later i made her google pictures of dumbo rats and she was like, "That is SO cute!"

My mom is a TOTAL hypocrite.


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